Spiral Zone #1 (February, 1988) "Colossus of Doom" Writer - Michael Fleisher Layouts - Carmine Infantino Pencils - Pablo Marcos Inks - Dick Giordano Letters - John Costanza Colors - Helen Vesik Editor - Joey Cavalieri Executive Editor - Joe Orlando Cover Price: $1.00 Today we're going to take a look at a cartoon/toy tie-in... but, it's for one of those toys that I somehow didn't even realize existed! I mean, I would've been around six-years old when they came out... so, I'd have been right in that "sweet spot"... but, gotta say, I never hoid of 'em. Never saw the cartoon either! Actually, all I knew of Spiral Zone, were the somewhat creepy ads that appeared in DC Comics (including, oddly enough, this very issue!):
I never knew what it was... and must have just assumed that it was just some sci-fi comic aimed toward kids... like Planet Terry, only blotchier. But, turns out.. it actually was a cartoon...
... and a toy line!
Though, it appears to have been a bit more popular in Japan.
Pretty wild stuff, eh? Well, moderately wild, I suppose. Anyhoo, this discussion was a long time coming, so let's get right to it! --
We open in the far-flung future of 2007... we're in a world where, earlier that year, the evil Overlord created things called... Spiral Zones. Ya see, they're these machines that generate "spiral" waves of force which render everyone within them to be docile and without will. The Spiral Zones currently cover over one-half of the planet Earth. There is a war between good and evil, in the form of "The Evil Black Widows"... who, I mean, they're the bad guys, clearly... the word "evil" is in their name, right? Those stood against the baddies are "The Zone Riders", and we'll be meeting (a couple of) them in a little bit... though, one looks like she might be Arisia.
During this present skirmish (in Paris, France), we hop into the head of Zone Rider, Sgt. Tank Schmidt. His mind wanders, he begins thinking about his young Son who had been trapped inside a Spiral Zone in their native Germany. He vows to move Heaven and Earth in order to save his boy.
Unfortunately, his daydream winds up getting him shot by one of the Widows! Whoops. Gotta keep your head in the game there, Tank. Lucky for him though, Commander Dirk Courage is nearby to lend a hand. When the Widow sees this, they beat a hasty retreat... ain't nobody wantin' to go one-on-one with the almighty Dirk Courage!
We jump ahead a bit, and rejoin Tank as he's being looked at by some Rider-Doctors. He swears that he feels fine, and that he ought to let go. Dirk pops his head in to give a bit of a pep-talk, and impress upon Tank that it's best for him to remain under observation for the next little while.
We shift scenes to the Arctic, where Black Widow second-in-command, Bandit is leading a troop of baddies to do... something with a group of Eskimo Villagers. The civilians run away, because even they, in the frozen northland know of the Overlord's evil. Gotta wonder who his P.R. guy is! Bandit ain't worried, however, as he knows they won't get far...
... because he's packin' a Zone Effect Cannon on his back! With only a zap, the Villagers lose their will to run... and become will-less slaves.
Bandit calls into Overlord to give a sit-rep, which leads into Overlord sharing his entire secret origin story with us! Ya see, he was once Dr. James Bent, the youngest NASA Military Science Commander (or some such). He had an idea which he felt would result in world peace. Sounds like a pretty good guy, don't he? Well, his idea was to... destroy everyone's free will. NASA, unsurprisingly, turned him down. He then took his idea to the Soviet Union, who also turned him down. And so, he and his buddies decided to steal a page from the Reed Richard playbook, and sneak a rocket into space. Instead of being bombarded with Cosmic Rays, however, they just dropped a bunch of the "Zone Effect" machines! Ever since then, the Widows have been in control.
Back at Rider-Base, Dirk Courage (which sounds dumber every time I type it) is informed that there's something going on in the Arctic. He finds it odd, considering how far out of the Spiral Zone that region is, but decides to take a look anyway, just in case. As he loads into his jet "The Eagle" (sold separately) he reminisces to the formation of the elite Zone Riders. They're kind of like the Planeteers, just older (except Arisia, naturally...). Their armored suits (of which, there are only five) protect them from the Spiral Effect.
With Dirk away, Tank'll play. He decides to use his enforced "down time" to infiltrate the Spiral Zone and, hopefully, rescue his Son. Ya see, while people lose their will while in the Zone... once they're removed from it, their senses come back pretty quickly. Tank busts out of his bindings and hops out a window.
Over the next several pages, Dirk Courage engages in a dogfight with a bunch of unmanned Widow-drone jets, all the while snapping photos of the Arctic area he was sent to investigate. Believe it or not, it's somehow even less interesting than I just described it to be.
We rejoin Tank... in Germany? Wow, how fast do those bikes go? I wonder if they come with "all you see here"? Anyhoo, he's looking for his Son, and is disgusted that the Widows have enslaved children. Just then, Tank's Son, Joey wanders into the scene!
Before Tank can act, he is spotted by the Widows! He grabs Joey, and they attempt to flee... unfortunately they run right into the Overlord! Ya see, he knew Tank was on his way... and realizing there's only one reason he'd come, planted a homing device on young Joey. Tank is disarmed... and Joey promises that it ain't so bad being a "Zoner". Yeah, that was kinda spoiled on the cover, wasn't it?
We wrap up back in the Arctic, where we finally see what the Eskimos have been enslaved to do... they're building a colossal statue... probably of the Overlord... probably just for his vanity... all we see is the lower-half, so, your guess is as good as mine! Though, c'mon... it's totally going to be the Overlord.
-- Ehh, ya know what? For a toy tie-in, this really wasn't all that bad. I wouldn't call it a "must read" or anything like that, but, this probably won't make ya mad. I feel like, for a comic book story, maybe a few too many pages were spent showcasing vehicles, armors, and assorted doo-dads, but... they are trying to sell toys here! It's just too bad Tonka cancelled the 1988 line (which I'm assuming this mini-series was timed for). Poor Anastasia never got her figure... though, if you read this issue, you'd barely have an idea of who Anastasia is (she's the Arisia-lookalike). That is kinda weird. This is a four-issue series, and so far, we've only really "met" two out of the five Zone Riders. Outside of that little bio-blurb, we don't get a whole lot out of the... well, characters that aren't white dudes. Whoops. Not saying there's anything sinister about that, that ain't how I play, but... whattayagonnado? The most interesting part of this issue is probably the Tank/Joey bit. Leaving the fact that the "reveal" was spoiled on the cover, I thought that was pretty neat. In checking out the cartoon's opening, it looks like they included the rescue attempt as part of it! Here, I GIFed it for ya:
The art here was pretty good. I feel like Infantino as a "layout" guy during the 80's is a lot less severe than Infantino as a penciller. As I've said before, I really didn't like his pre-Crisis Flash. Looking at the design... the cover here is evocative of that 1970 Hot Wheels comic we discussed here back in the long ago. Wonder if that's just one of DC's go-to "house styles" for licensed properties? Here, you be the judge:
Overall, a decent enough issue... though, probably not a series I'll revisit. In fact, this was an issue I wanted to discuss very early on in the blog... like, within the first few weeks! Still trying to find my "niche", I wanted to drop in some "obscure" stuff early. To be honest, I didn't make it more than a handful of pages before dropping it back into the longbox. I'm glad I stuck with it today though. -- (Not the) Letters Page:
Savant Garde #1 (March, 1997) Writer - Barbara Kesel Pencils - Ryan Odagawa Inks - Chuck Gibson Colors - Wendy Fouts Letters - Amie Grenier w/Rob Robbins Editor - Rachelle Brissenden Cover Price: $2.50 I've mentioned it before, but during the "heyday" of WildStorm, I was kinda in-and-out. Would pick up WildC.A.T.S or Grifter or Gen¹³ every now and again... but never endeavored to be "all in". I remember being especially intrigued though... around the post-boom period, where the WildStorm "house style" kind of shifted away from the heavily-lined and overly-posed Jim Lee look, to the more cartoony, almost manga-inspired, J. Scott Campbell look. To me, it felt sort of like a concession that the line was trying to adapt with the times. The boom period was in the rear-view, and the industry was (relatively speaking) struggling to keep its head above water. I liked this new look a lot... it felt like, and this is definitely me projecting, but it felt like the creators were having fun. Thing of it is, no matter how much this era of WildStorm "spoke" to me... I didn't actually explore it. Which brings me to today's book... Savant Garde. What the hell is Savant Garde? Well, ya got me... all's I can tell from the cover is that I recognize... I dunno, one and a half-to-two of the characters on it? Hell, if not for Majestic (which tipped me off that this is a WildStorm/eventual-DC property) on the cover, this would probably still be sitting in whatever cheap-o bin I found it in! --
We open with Savant and "Pancho" (Mabel Bligh) climbing up the side of a steep cliff. Mabel is providing the narration, during which it's quite plainly stated that Savant hasn't been having the best of times of late... and might be in need of "adventure". After some sassy back-n-forth, they reach the top, where they find Majestic waiting for them. According to him, he'd been waiting for twelve hours... which seems, I dunno, like some poor time management from the Majestic One. Oh well. Savant and Majestic share a sorta-kinda contentious greeting (I think Savant is his daughter... only she doesn't know it yet), while Mabel finds herself instantly smitten.
We learn that they're here to explore some temple ruins and find... something (we'll eventually find out that they're looking for a mask). Turns out though, they aren't the first ones here. Indeed, there appears to be a group of builders erecting some sort of structure around the ruins. This wrankles Savant's (very tight) shorts.
We shift scenes into the construction site, where we learn that this makeshift building is set to become a "base" of some sort. A woman wearing a beret (who I'm not sure if we're supposed to recognize) directs traffic. Among the "stuff" being moved about is a big ol' tank of biohazard.
Jumping behind the construction, we meet a giant robot called Met-L, and an... oh boy... a "Nympho-Droid" named Katrina. And, yeah... a Nympho-Droid is exactly what you think it is (more on that in a bit). Anyhoo, they're headed to Lima for some repairs... but are in need of some materials to barter with. Oddly enough, as they talk to each other, we get the distinct impression that there are two different voices coming from the robot. More on that later too.
The bot and the droid then attack (and kill) the beret-wearing woman. Met-L (or one of the voices coming from the robot) asks if it was necessary to actually kill 'em... to which the Nympho asserts that nobody there was an innocent.
Next... something completely different. Enter Now: the Dank Lair of Lord Defile (ugh). He's chatting up an assassin named... Innuendo (double ugh). They discuss taking out a pair of former WildC.A.T.S (Savant and Majestic). These are some goofy-looking fools.
Back to the temple ruins, where Mabel is still looking quite "thirsty" for Majestic (that's a thing that "the kids" say, right?). Savant is pretty annoyed and suggests they continue on their way to find the bounty.
Little do they know that they've been beaten there too! Katrina and Met-L are already up there salvaging. Well, Met-L is anyway. Savant and the Gang arrive as this is going down, and as you might imagine... Savant isn't pleased (is she ever?).
They fight... Katrina gets involved... it's a whole big thing for a hot minute. Savant shames the Nympho-Droid for being... well, the sentient sex-toy that she is, and gets socked in the mush for it...
... then, just one page later, Katrina uses the fact that she's a sentient sex-toy to attempt and shame Majestic for... "quivering" in her presence. Though, I feel like she might have mistook "cringing" with "quivering". Probably needs her firmware updated (uh, no pun intended).
The whole skirmish wraps up when Mabel holds a gun up to Met-L's head. Katrina stands down... and, get this, Savant decides to keep them around for the "unveiling". Why in the world would you do this? Probably to facilitate a subsequent scene where Katrina steals the mask, right?
Well, yeah... more or less that. But, first... let's check back in with our man, Innuendo. He lands in Lima, and refuses to check his bag at Customs. He is followed into the Men's Room by an Officer... who he kills. He isn't exactly secretive about it either!
Okay, back to the temple, where... Katrina steals the booty. Duh.
Savant, gives chase, and even offers to trade cold hard cash (and we're not talking Grifter) in exchange for the loot. But then... something happens. Katrina stops running and assures... someone that everything is going to be okay.
Savant snags the mask... and we wrap up with the reveal of Katrina's other friend... that other voice from inside Met-L, Sheba that Cat-Girl!
-- Well... I know that the concept of "every issue being somebody's first" is long out the window... and has been for much of my comics collecting "career". But, ya know... part of me still believes, sweet summer child that I am, that if your book has a bright, shiny #1 on its cover... it has the duty and responsibility to be at least moderately accessible to people who might not be steeped in the lore of an entire comics universe to follow along and (fully) appreciate. This book... was not. I think, and pardon the tangent, it's taken for granted that comics fans are, for the most part, a "closed system"... ya know, like oil for your car. It's the same bunch of people circulating through the hobby... and if you manage to pull one of 'em off the latest X-Book and onto yours, than good on ya. Yet, at the same time, there's always been this push to expand the readership into the "mainstream"... the more casual reader, who might have seen a movie or TV show... or hell, just thought the cover to an issue (or the bright, shiny #1on the cover) was pretty cool. Now, if I know a thing-or-two about the WildStorm Universe and still felt lost here, what hope in hell does a new reader have? The issue, I really can't judge it for quality, because if you were more steeped in the WildStorm/WildC.A.T.S universe, this might've been the best thing ever (he says hyperbolically)... though, if you're not, it really won't do much for ya. You might get a giggle or two out of the sentient sex-toy... but, at the end of the day, I'm not sure you'd be so inclined to come back for a second helping. I know I'm not. Overall... a book you need to have a working knowledge of the WildStorm U to fully appreciate, which isn't a bad thing in and of itself... I always appreciate reader loyalty being paid off... it's just that, while you're "paying off" that loyalty, you should also be telling a story that's easy to follow for potential newcomers... especially if yours is a book with a bright, shiny #1 on its cover. I will say, however, that I really dug the art! -- (Not the) Letters Page:
Guy Gardner #11 (August, 1993) "Yesterday's Sins, Part 1 of 4: Back in the Days" Writer - Chuck Dixon Pencils - Joe Staton Inks - Terry Beatty Letters - Albert DeGuzman Colors - Anthony Tollin Assistant Editor - Eddie Berganza Editor - Kevin Dooley Cover Price: $1.25 Wouldja lookit that, Guy Gardner: Year One! We're about to find out everything that made Guy... Guy. Let's just hope they don't do the cliche thing of having him grow up in an abusive household. Err, I'm sure that dude beating him with a belt isn't his father or anything... right? Okay, let's just get into it. --
We open with an introduction to a Lantern called Graf Toren... looks like kind of a bruiser with a fu manchu. He happens across a large craft... and finds himself overwhelmed by a whole lotta yellow inside. The crew of the ship nabs him up quickly, and even snatches his Power Ring... as they are attending to him, we can see what appears to be Graf Toren laying in a mechanical-looking bed in the foreground.
We then shift scenes down to Earth, where Guy Gardner and General Glory are fighting a bunch of Kobras. They make relatively short work of 'em... but that's really not the important part. Ya see, those same aliens who kidnapped Graf are watching this fight unfold. They are doing some "Lantern collecting", and headed to Earth in hopes of snagging one Hal Jordan. After seeing the way Guy fights, however, they realize that maybe he'd be of more use to them... no matter what color ring he has on his finger (Remember, Guy's is yellow).
After the dust settles, Guy and the General begin explaining the situation to the police... when Guy... suddenly vanishes! He reappears on that alien craft several million miles away.
Guy, being Guy, doesn't waste any time talking... and instead lunges into battle with the red buggers on board. Unfortunately for him, it seems like these geeks were following Bloodlines, because they appear to know exactly how and where to attack a human.
Guy wakes up in a weird holding cell... without walls, but also without escape. He is surrounded by four Green Lantern Corps members (including Graf) who had been taken captive by the creeps. As you might expect, Guy ain't all that happy.
He's not exactly worried though... he knows that his "friends in high places" will be scouring the galaxies looking for him before long. Well, uh, Guy... looks like your pals are kinda busy.
What's worse, is that Guy learns that they're just going to send a Guy Gardner "double" back to Earth, so no one will know he's even missing. You remember that Graf-laying-in-a-mechanical-bed from earlier? That's what that was all about. Guy himself even mentions seeing "Hal Jordan laying on a tanning couch" when he arrived, which, unfortunately didn't get drawn. If you recall, the aliens were originally planning on nyoinking Hal... so, that explains that.
The Corps members tell Guy that over the next little while, the aliens are going to "probe" him... not that way, ya pervert... we're talkin' mental probes here. The aliens return to the "cell" and once again perform the Bloodlines blitz on poor Guy's nape.
Next thing we know, Guy is strapped into some contraption, with a Facehugger from Aliens sitting on his chest. It begins probing into Guy's mind... which hurts at first, before becoming enjoyable. Sounds like we're seeing the start of a pretty horrifying fetish right here. Anyhoo, we're now transported back to Guy Gardner's childhood... and he still had that "Ernie" haircut! I'm not sure this can be a proper origin without actually seeing him get that haircut. Ehh, whattayagonnado?
His mother calls him downstairs for breakfast, and informs him to be on his best behavior as his father is in one of his "moods" again. You see where this is headed, right? Guy sits down for breakfast where his dad mocks his terrible haircut, and lambastes him for not being a winner like his brother, Mace. When Guy spills his OJ, all bets are off... Papa Gardner beats the holy hell out of the bowl-headed boy, while his mother turns her back.
We follow young Guy to school, where a teacher yells at him for lingering too long in the hallway. She also compares him to his brother, Mace... who we learn is quite the local legend when it comes to football.
Guy then... wakes up, back on board that alien craft... surrounded by his new "friends". They explain that the alien take multiple sessions to probe a mind... ya know, like maybe... and I'm spitballin' here... four (these days, it'd be six).
We wrap up with more'a Guy kickin' butt. He won't take this laying down, and offers the "Candybutt" Corps members the chance to join him in taking down the alien bozos!
-- So... yeah, looks like we took the cliche route here, didn't we? Guy's a jerk because his father always liked his brother best. Oh, and also, beat the hell out of him on a regular basis. I mean, it's okay if that's the direction you want to go with it... but, I'm not sure there's anyone who didn't see this coming a mile away. Oh well, Occam's Razor of comics and all that. I will say that they're delivering the origin in a fun and interesting way! Gotta mention the art... because, I will admit, it's what kept me away from (re)visiting these early issues of Guy Gardner. Joe Staton was never my favorite artist, but at this point... and I hate to say it, but it borders on the downright unpleasant. Right now, Staton is doing the daily Dick Tracy syndicated strip... which, I feel his style is more suited for. Having that style in a long-form comic though? Not my cuppa tea. Overall, if you ever wondered why Guy was such a jerk (and didn't already assume that he was dealing with some issues from his childhood), you might get something out of this. It was fun seeing Guy as a bowl-headed brat... and I dug his attempts at "rallying the troops" of the loser Corps members. There's definitely bits and pieces to dig here, even if the complete package is somewhat underwhelming. This issue is available digitally. -- Letters Page:
