Bonus Book #4 - Legend of the Amazons (July, 1988)
"Awakenings"
Writer - Dan Littleford
Pencils - Palmer Worley
Inks - Brian Thomas
Letters - Dan McKinnon
Colors - Danny Vozzo
Edits - Karen Berger
Before we begin, a few things about today's feature. First, it's a Wonder Woman-adjacent story... so, that doesn't bode well for your humble blogger. Second, this is the first of two of these we'll be getting during our Bonus Book excursion... though, the next time out, it will be called Legends (plural) of the Amazons as opposed to today's Legend (singular) of the Amazons.
Third... this was a book I had to drive all over creation last week to locate! Just like the All-Star Squadron and Batman and the Outsiders Insert Prevues... I just assumed I had this one. And... I didn't! Now, Wonder Woman books are often among the hardest to find "in the wild"... at least in my neck of the woods. Sure, they'll be in the bins... but, it's hardly ever anything resembling a "full run". This might be due to low print runs... because, as much as we might like to think otherwise, Wonder Woman, with very few exceptions, is never really a "hot" book. I'd blame the movies... but, Wonder Woman bin-rarity goes back way farther than that.
I did manage to find it... after many unsuccessful dives and probably around 75 miles of diameter driving. Best of all, I found it for a buck-n-change and in excellent condition, so, can't really beat that.
This story can be found in Wonder Woman (vol.2) #18 (July, 1988).
One more thing before we hop into the spoilery synopsis... I finally got around to compiling all of our Bonus Book/Insert Prevue discussion into an easily navigable page. Click the image below, if you're interested:
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We open in 4500 BC, in a strange (and annoyingly poetic) realm. There's light, there's darkness... there's madness. We're about a half-page in, and I'm already confused. After even more pseudo-poetry, a woman awakens. She has a white streak in her long black hair.
We learn pretty quickly that this woman is being kept against her will, by a King. She is his lover and his slave. She rises out of bed and walks toward a door... where, with her mind's eye, she imagines herself free... a warrior on horseback. Not sure if this is a flashback... or just her imagination running amok. This confusion will only get worse as we continue.
Still on horseback, this warrior woman runs into another. She, the dark-haired one, introduces herself as Mesopee. Wait a second... I don't think I can skip this one panel. Our gal describes her feelings here as... orgasmic? Really now? Checking the cover... yup, the Comics Code Authority let this slide... which makes me think they just had the good sense not to read this insert. I wonder how many children asked their parents what "orgasmic" meant after reading this? Ehh, who am I kidding... nobody read this.
Anyhoo, the women begin this friendly rivalry, wherein they race each other toward an oncoming storm. The other woman, by the way, is called Verona.
Back to "reality", where our captive leaves the breezeway before succumbing to... a headache? Okay... this triggers another trip into her mind's eye... but this one, I'm almost certain, is an actual flashback. In this one, she, as a young girl, is sold into slavery by her a-hole father. She is referred to here as Larabeau. So, who the hell is Mesopee?
In the "present", Larabeau is visited upon by the specter of her father... who she asks why he sold her to the King. He explains that the King's offer was too good to pass up... and, it's not like he wanted to spend the rest of his days looking after her! We learn here that Lara never knew her mother. Maybe that's Mesopee?!
After shaking off the vision, Larabeau wanders into the King's trophy room. Helmets from all he'd defeated adorn the walls... naturally, triggering another flashback. Here, Mesopee (who, I think we gotta assume is Larabeau? Maybe?) and Verona engage in a sort of mutual admiration society. Lots of talk of sisterhood and what-not.
This flashback/flash-sideways is interrupted by the King bellowing out that he requires drink. Larabeau, being his servant, fetches him a goblet of somethin' or another. Wouldja believe it... even this triggers another maybe-memory!
Mesopee has a late night drink with a warrior called Hermitus. Maybe he's the one she was sold to? I really haven't the foggiest idea what's going on here.
Back in the present, Lara presents her King with his drink. He asks if she sees anything in it... I'm assuming he means like a "vision" or something. She confirms that she does not... only "still liquid". Apparently, there is one called Kaleece who can see things in goblets... for whatever that's worth to us here.
Then... get this... the King reveals that he's missing his left hand... and he's rather troubled by this fact! What the hell is going on here?! Is this another vision? Did he forget he only had a wrist-stump on his left side? Is he just a nut?! Good Lord. The King insists that, get this, Larabeau is hiding his hand. Whaaaaaaat? It would appear that he beats the bejeezus out of her for her assumed transgression.
Larabeau crawls out of the room... and into a hallway, where a great blade hangs. Guess what happens next? If you said "another flash-back/forward/sideways/wherever", you'd be correct! Mesopee and Verona have been imprisoned... not sure if they're in the same place... or elsewhere. Hell, I'm not sure it even matters anymore.
The "mind's eye" bit continues into Mesopee and Verona's uprising. They slaughter their captors, break their chains, all that good stuff. In the present, Larabeau has retrieved the sword off the wall.
Homeboy charges in, still looking for his damned hand... but, Larabeau can't help but be elsewhere mentally. As he rants, she flashes back to the uprising... and to Verona's death.
In the present, Larabeau is carving up the King pretty good. This jackass is still ranting about his missing hand. Is this some sort of Greek Myth reference that I'm just not aware of? Talk about tunnel-vision... dude's being slaughtered, and still going on about his hand! Looks like Larabeau has killed her captor at this point... and a gaggle of geeks enter the scene to check on the King. With a smile on her face, she raises her blade at them. We can probably assume this didn't work out so well for the Royal Guard... or, maybe for Larabeau herself.
We (mercifully... finally) wrap up with a woman... maybe Larabeau... maybe Mesopee... maybe both... maybe neither, rising from the still waters of some sort of paradise. Whoever she is, she's lacking that white streak in her hair. There's a brief flashback of... Larabeau's death. So, this is a sort of rebirth? I have no idea how Amazons "work"... is this part of their gimmick [yes, it looks like in the post-Crisis it was their gimmick!]? Oh well. This woman, whoever she is, is alive... and in search of a "Virgin Land" that awaits her.
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What... wha? What the hell did we just read?
Ya know, anytime I read something that I just plain don't like, I always assume it's because I'm just too dumb to properly appreciate it. It's that odd mix of Catholic guilt with 40 years of paranoia and next to no self-confidence. I always just figure that everything is genius (heck, just look at "current year" comic reviews... everything is touted as "genius")... and that I'm just far too dense to receive, process, and enjoy whatever it is that I'm engaging with.
This though? I'm not sure. I've been doing this little blogging gig for near on 1500 days (in a row!)... I don't think I've ever been as confused and detached as I am in writing today's piece. Over the past few days, I've read this story no less than four times... hopeful each time that it might begin to make some sense. It didn't. Am I overthinking it? Am I looking for answers where there are none?
Are Mesopee and Larabeau one in the same? Is Larabeau the result of Mesopee's death and rebirth? Is it the other way around? Are they completely different people entirely? And, that's the deal with the King's hand??? I thought I was having a fever dream there... that panel was bananas! Where did his hand go? Who took it? Did he ever have one? Is he just insane?! I'm gonna guess he's just crazy. Also... who the hell is Hermitus? Is he the King prior to bleaching his hair and mustache?! So many questions... yet, not enough interest to pursue any answers.
I've done some light-Googling... all of the names we've read today... even Greek Myths about "left hands" or "missing hands", but all of those results come back with images of aged and broken statues! The only thing I actually learned, that made a lick of sense during my research was that the Amazons were reincarnated souls of women slain by men. I guess there's our means to an end.
So, if I were to make a guess... and make no mistake, this is just a guess. I'd say... Larabeau came first. Her death led to the reincarnation as Mesopee... who met Verona. They referred to one another as Amazons... which, stands to reason with the post-Crisis origin of the race. From there, they are captured... Verona is killed... Mesopee goes on to look for, what will ultimately become, Themyscira? Sound good? Ehh, who the hell knows? This is like that flash-sideways season of Lost.
One thing I will say about this story... if you ignore the confusing and overly-flowery captions... we get some amazing artwork. Really pretty stuff here. I don't think I've ever seen Palmer Worley before this... but, we'll get to him in a bit.
First though... Dan Littleford, our writer. According to Comicvine, this was his only story at in comics, let alone at DC. Worth noting, this Bonus Book doesn't even get a mention at the DC Wiki! Not sure what he may or may not have gone on to do. While I found his work to be a bit "much", I'm sure he could've flourished in some early Vertigo-style stuff. He's not a bad writer... just, too pseudo-poetic... and maybe a little lacking as a "storyteller". This just wasn't clear enough.
Palmer Worley... another creator who did not go on to much in the field! Besides this story, he is credited with Pencils and Inks on Ex-Mutants #14 (1990) from Eternity Comics and some Battletech from Blackthorne. In my Googling, not much else, comics-related, came up for him.
Overall... a very pretty story, but also a very confusing one. I'd say this one's probably for Wonder Woman completionists only.
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Bonus Book #3 - Doom Patrol (June, 1988)
"A Life in the Day"
Writer - Steve Miller (probably not that Steve Miller)
Pencils - Randy DuBurke
Inks - Joe Alidetta
Letters - Tim Harkins
Colors - Elizabeth Kessler
Edits - Paul Kupperberg
Consulting Edits - Mike Gold
Wow, that's a cover, innit? Pretty horrifying stuff... are we sure this is pre-Morrison Doom Patrol? How ya like Arani's pose there? Part tortured, part seductive... eesh, it's just really off-putting. If you followed during our ten-month Action Comics Daily endeavor last year, that art ought to be pretty familiar to y'all! Let's see how good it looks on the inside!
This bugger was jammed betwixt the staples of Doom Patrol (vol.2) #9 (June, 1988).
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We open with Celsius stood before a War Memorial. She is approached by an elderly woman in a wheelchair who seems to sense that she needs somebody to talk to. I'm not sure if the wheelchair is supposed to evoke Niles Caulder... but, I suppose that doesn't really matter. Anyhoo, the old woman asks what's up... and Arani hesitates before spilling her guts to this perfect stranger. She tells her all about the Doom Patrol and her missing husband. The old woman than shares that she recently lost a husband herself... and, she has decided that this day will be her "last day". As in, she's planning to die today. She introduces herself as Ellen and invites Arani to share in her company on this very important day. Since our Doomy has nothing better to do... and maybe figures she can talk this old bitty out of dying, she agrees.
Their first stop is Bryant's Barbeque Restaurant, which is actually a real place in Kansas City! Ellen orders a pork sandwich... and Arani kinda does the spoilsport thing and says she ain't hungry. Ellen takes it upon herself to order a sammie for her young tagalong.
Arani, unsurprisingly, loves the sandwich... and Ellen shares a story about the old owner of the joint, Arthur Bryant. She says he was so legendary in the area that when he passed away, a cartoonist drew him arriving at the pearly-gates of Heaven, with Saint Peter asking if he brought any sauce.
And, whattaya know...
Their next stop is to see the Kansas City Royals play. Ellen says she's been a fan forever, and always watches them on television... but has never visited the park. Today, they're playing the New York Yankees... so, why not? George Brett winds up hitting the game-winning Home Run... the ball soars right into Ellen and Arani's section.
The fan who caught the ball graciously offers it to Ellen. She gleefully takes it, and suggests she and Arani head down and try to get George Brett to autograph it for them. Arani is quite confused about the direction this day has taken.
They get the autograph... turns out Mr. Brett is "such a nice young man". Celsius is clearly beginning to lose her patience... and attempts to "call it a day", because she's got stuff to do... like, ya know, stare at walls, hoping that Niles' location will just magically pop into her mind. Ellen tells her they've got just one last stop. Arani begrudgingly agrees to accompany her.
On their way to their final destination, our pair happen across a burning building. Firefighters appear to be having great difficulty dealing with this inferno... but Celsius doesn't look to be all that interested in helping out. Ellen doesn't give her the choice... if Arani can do something to help save some lives, then she damn sure better!
Arani gives in and uses her powers to create a tremendous ice-slide gimmick. That's not good enough for our gal Ellen though. She insists that Arani inform the police and firefighters that she, in fact, assisted. Arani gives a flat-out "No".
Well, if we know anything about Ellen... and, we don't know much... but, we do know that she ain't about to take "no" for an answer. Arani tells the Police about her helping-hand... and is absolutely bombarded with questions. Oh! So, that's what all those Twizzler's Mouths on the cover were all about!
Finally, Arani and Ellen arrive at the "final destination". It's a fountain at a park. Ellen asks Arani to look around and tell her what she sees. She responds with "people wasting time". Ellen corrects her, explaining that they're not wasting time... they're "enjoying their lives". She suggests Arani do the same... make friends, share her life with them. Life's short and all'at. She hands over her George Brett ball as a memento of their time together...
... then, she dies. Arani kisses her on the forehead.
We wrap up back at Doom Patrol headquarters... where Arani has a little chat with Cliff. She even tosses him the George Brett baseball. It looks as though she learned something from her day with Ellen... and perhaps, tomorrow can be a new beginning for her. Ya know, so long as there isn't some crazy alien Invasion! heading their way.
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Ya know... I'm not sure what I was expecting from this Bonus Book endeavor... well, actually, I take that back... I know pretty much exactly what I expected. I expected, to be completely blunt... garbage. I expected throwaways... I expected halfhearted efforts. I guess, I expected "current year" DC Comics anthology fare. What we've gotten instead (at least to this point) is... very earnest, well thought-out little stories. These first three Bonus Books appear to have that one intangible we overly precious-types go on and on about... they've got heart.
It's easy to look at this one, and... after the first handful of pages, sigh to ourselves and say "Oh, it's going to be one of those stories"... a "final day" story, where someone is going to learn a valuable lesson about life. And, don't get me wrong, that's exactly what it is. It's a trope we've seen time and again in fiction. The thing of it is, however, that it's done just so damn well here! This really was excellent!
Now, it's been... a very long time... since I've read any pre-Morrison Doom Patrol. This Kupperberg run, while not bad or anything, was always sort of a "Premack" situation to me. It was what I'd force myself to push through in order to get to the Morrison run. Could've just skipped it... and a lot of times I did. But, the times I did read it, it was out of some sort of weird obligation rather than any actual interest.
That said, I know the broader strokes of Arani's search for the Chief... I mean, I guess it's all broad strokes... she's searching for the Chief. Done. Thing is, you don't necessarily even need to be familiar with that aspect of that story to fully appreciate this. Miller does a fine job depicting Arani as troubled and focused on her mission... and shares what that mission is. I suppose what I'm trying to say here, but taking a rather "scenic route" is, you can go into this story cold, and you won't be lost. You can (and likely will) still enjoy it.
I appreciated the nods to actual Kansas City locales and history. I'm sure had I not had a Google-Machine within arm's reach at all times, I'd likely assume places like Bryant's were just made up by the writer... and, I mean, while it doesn't so much matter that it's real... I definitely appreciate the effort. From the Bonus Book Bio page (included below), it looks as though our writer, (not that) Steve Miller might just be a KC native.
Let's take a look at Mssr. Miller. If the DC Wiki is to be believed, he was (sadly) a one-and-done. This was his only story. That's definitely too bad, because, I tell ya what... this was a damn good story. Trying to Google this fella, as you might imagine, is somewhat difficult. If I'm not pulling up that Steve Miller... I'm getting Frank! His career started prior to his DC try-out with a series called Rust from NOW Comics. From my (admittedly litte) research, it seems like he came up with the Rust concept... but might not have actually written the comics? He didn't do a heckuva lot in the field after this though. That's really too bad.
Across the table, we've got our artist Randy DuBurke. Chris is on Infinite Earths regulars might recognize him as the artist on Action Comics Weekly's pair of Black Canary features! Now, I gave him a bit of grief during those runs... both for being "boring" and for being wayyy too experimental. It was a very bi-polar effort. Here, however, it would appear that DuBurke has found that "happy medium" between clean-clear-comics and Sienkiewicz-lite. It certainly helps that this more "talkie" story might best suit his style. From the DC Wiki, it looks as though Randy went on to do Action Comics Weekly, a few other things... then, poof... that's that! He does have a website you can check out if you wanna see some of his more recent work... which, it rather nice! There are some amazing-looking painted pages posted there.
Overall... as if it's not obvious... I really dug this one. Well worth checking out... or digging up, if you've already got Doom Patrol #9 in a longbox somewhere!
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(Not the) Letters Page:
Bonus Book #2 - Doctor Light (May, 1988)
"Light at the End of the Tunnel"
Writer - George Broderick, Jr.
Pencils - Gordon Purcell
Inks - Timothy Dzon
Letters - Dan McKinnon
Colors - Glenn Whitmore
Edits - Barbara Randall
Consultant - Marv Wolfman
A... Doctor Light story? Really? That's what we're doing here today? Well, this is probably going to be weird, innit? It's also likely to be read by less people than I can count on one hand!
This Bonus Book was shoved into the staples of Flash (vol.2) #12 (May, 1988).
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We open with Doctor Light (the bad one) being transported from a high-security prison to a... less, I dunno, notorious setting? Ya see, ain't nobody taking this fella seriously enough to keep in Max-Sec. During the trip from Rykers Island to the... uh, Parma County Correctional Work Farm... Light is pretty much left to his own devices... which just goes to show how seriously they're taking him. Anyhoo, he triggers a light show from some little chip in his fingernail, which blinds his driver and guard. Escaping the bus, Artie finds himself at the town line of... Radiance, Pennsylvania.
Light sneaks into town, and realizing he'll need to be better-dressed... or at least more casually-dressed to fit in, trades clothes with a local yokel... which is to say, knocks some dude out, and swaps gear. The police, hot on his trail, mistake the yokel in prison togs for Dr. Light... under the assumption that one of his powers has to do with changing his appearance with holograms or something. With the heat off, Light starts heading down the main drag.
It's here we meet a trio of young boys... Shawn Rogers, Static Simms, and Stats Mehlville. Any of those surnames ring a bell? Of course they don't... unless you're a big-time Golden Age comics fan. They're being menaces, in the Dennis sense of the word... skateboarding down the (relatively) busy street. Just being kids, ya know? Anyhoo, they're stopped by a Police Officer, who just so happens to be one of the boys' father, and get a weak lecture on responsibility... in the shadow of Radiance Founder Hosiah Fitz's statue. It's really wholesome... so wholesome, in fact, that it makes Dr. Light wanna hurl... and, change his clothes.
Meanwhile, in Parma... not-Dr. Light is steadfast in the fact that he's, ya know, not Dr. Light. The Warden decides to call the Teen Titans to confirm... however, their conversation is cut short when someone attacks Titan's Tower. Okay, then.
Back in Radiance, the Mayor's office is full of local business owners, all complaining about some very recent thefts. The Mayor, by the way, is the father of another one of those boys we just met. The locals are ticked off about this "crime wave" and are holding the Mayor's feet to the fire. Outside, Shawn, Stats, and Static... wait, we've got a Stats and a Static? Okay then... whatever the case, they're outside on the Courthouse steps pondering how they might help track down the baddie.
After another brief stop in Parma, where not-Dr. Light is diagnosed as being in self-denial, we get the big Radiance Reveal. Doctor Light, in all his glory, struts into the square. Ya see, he's the guy who stole a bunch of stuff from the local shops... in order to put together his classic costume. Gotta say, dude's like a ninja with a sewing machine.
He threatens the town... basically saying he wants to take it over. Naturally, nobody takes this seriously in the slightest. And so, he points at the statue of Hosiah Fitz... and vaporizes the darn thing! This tells the Radiants... Radians... Radiantese... the common folk, that he means business.
He even gets into a stare-down with that local cop from earlier... ya know, whichever kid's father that was... and, the local "blinks" first.
And so, Doctor Light has taken over the town of Radiance, PA! Like, for real... he now runs the place! Even got himself an army of delinquents to "keep the peace" for him! Thing of it is, he's so paranoid that he's going to be found out, that he's basically locked himself in an office. His paranoia is so out of control (almost at Chris-levels) that he even second-guesses taking a swig of water from the cooler, fearing it's been poisoned!
Meanwhile, dem boys are still trying to figure out a way they might help out. They head to one of their houses, where they discover an old journal. This journal reveals that all three of their fathers were... Little Boy Blue and the Blue Boys! The who, now? Well, these are the Golden Agers I was talking about earlier (first appearance: Sensation Comics #1 - January, 1942)... I won't even pretend to have ever heard of them before now (making me perhaps a true rarity in the comics-commentary community)! Along with the journal, they happen across all of the colorful costumes their Pops' had worn back in the 40's! You see where this is going, surely?
The kids get suited up, and endeavor to partake in some "creative problem solving". Ya see, they doubt very highly that an idiot like Dr. Light could actually recreate his supervillain costume. They figure there's gotta be a "gimmick". And so, they ultimately deduce (in surveying everything that Light had stolen before his "demonstration") that the most likely scenario was: Artie used a remote detonator using radio frequencies to make it appear as though he could destroy a statue by simply pointing at it. Ya dig?
And so, they head over to Dr. Light's office to... ya know, screw with him a bit. After launching a smoke canister through his window, Artie runs out to see what the hub-bub's about. When he sees the Blue Boys (II), he threatens with more vaporization. And, he... ya know points. Nothing happens. He points again... still nada. Ya see, the Blue Boys (two) have jammed the radio frequency he was using to make things go boom, rendering him... powerless. Dr. Light decides to attempt beating a hasty retreat.
The Blue Boys (dos) trip the baddie up, and before we know it, he's loaded back on the bus headed to Parma. Not-Dr. Light is returned home... likely ready to prepare a rather large lawsuit! We also get a somewhat touching scene between father-and-son-Blue-Boys.
We close out back in Dr. Light's cell, where he's in the middle of writing a missive to... Amanda Waller! Hmm...
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This was... cute. Wasn't expecting this one to be quite as much fun as it turned out being... I also wasn't expecting it to both tie into Golden Age continuity and facilitate Dr. Light joining up with the Suicide Squad! It's crazy... this story actually mattered! I really wasn't expecting that!
I appreciate any nods to past continuity... and as I was reading this in bed last night, I was searching for any information I could find on the Blue Boys on my phone... if you're going to do the same, might I suggest making sure your SafeSearch is on. Ahem. I kid, I kid. Not about the search though! I had to find out if this was a legit reference to the past or not... and I was delighted to find out that it was. Absolutely love this sort of thing!
I thought Doctor Light was handled very well here. I really dug his paranoia setting in as his plan appeared to be coming together. It really shines a light (no pun intended) on what a bad supervillain he's always been, when an actual victory is enough to really get under his skin! I mean, I really like that idea. This dude is so used to losing, his plan doesn't even have a "Step 2". He's just waiting for the walls to close in. Love it!
The kids discovering their dads' old togs? It's nothing we haven't seen before, but it works. I thought the kids were a lot of fun... and wanting to "do good" by their sleepy town is reason enough for them to don the hoods. Lotta fun.
Now to check in on our New Talents:
According to the DC Wiki... our writer, George Broderick did not go on to become a DC Comics mainstay... in fact, this story is the only thing attributed to him. That's a shame... I've always got time for creators who try and weave bits and pieces of lore into their stories... without making it come across as a blatant nostalgia-wank. Looks like where Broderick excelled was in his cartooning... and you can check out some of his stuff on his website!
Our artist, Gordon Purcell, (again, according to the DC Wiki) would go on to become a penciller for DC's Star Trek comics... which, you know I've never read. He's even listed as the writer for one of those issues! He would get some work at Marvel and later go on to provide art for licensed titles at IDW and for JMS's Joe's Comics over at Image. Pretty good! For this story to be among his earlier work... well, you'd never know! He's got a really good handle on just about everything... you show this one to anybody, and I doubt anyone would suggest it's someone's "try out".
Overall... this was way more fun than it had any right to be. A great outing for some new creators.
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