Nolan Ryan (1992)
"The Winning Pitch!"
By: Your Guess is as Good as Mine!
Welcome to the third (and final) installment of Tony's Sports Series! As far as I can tell, there were only ever three made... though, I most definitely could be mistaken. If you know that there are any more of these, please let me know!
Also, if you have any insight as to the creative team for this issue, definitely, please do send it my way!
Gonna do something I haven't done in ages here at the site, once this piece is wrapped up and live, I'm going to throw our three special sports books onto our Collected Editions Page! I haven't added anything to that in well over a year at this point! How exciting, right? Right? Oh well.
Before getting into it, a look into the future: If all goes according to plan today... tomorrow ought to feature a very special piece that I have been chipping away at for a few weeks now. It involves a "Near-DC-Near-Miss"... so, something that DC Comics almost missed out on... it's going to be a fun one, and I can't wait to share it with you!
Til then, however... let's PLAY BALL!
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Our story opens at the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown. Tony the Tiger is there with an unassuming gent, who we will come to find out is Major League Legend... and our titular character, Nolan Ryan. They see a disheartened young fella lamenting the fact that he'll never be as good as Babe Ruth... which, ya know, puts him in pretty good company, considering most of the people on the planet will never be as good as the Babe. Tony overhears this sad little monologue, and assumes that the kid is talking about baseball. Uh, ya think? He's kind of walking around the Baseball Hall of Fame... I'm no expert, but it stands to reason that he might just be interested in baseball. The bipedal beast prompts Nolan to chat up the kid to see what might be bothering him. Man, reading this in 2020 makes a scene like this all kinds of shady.
The young fella, Paul, informs Nolan that he doesn't think he'll ever make it in the big leagues because, well, he sucks at hitting. To solve this, Nolan takes Paul around the H.o.F., and points out some Legends of the game who also couldn't hit all that well, but made up for it in other ways.
Paul humors Nolan as he continues his lecture before finally breaking away. Ya see, there's a little game about to start at one of the practice fields... and, even though the big kids will never let him play, at the very least... he can watch. Nolan reports his failure to Tony... but the Tigerkingman is confident they haven't "struck out" just yet.
Tony and Nolan walk through the rural farm-laden roads of Cooperstown, while trying to figure out how they might get through to poor Paul. I mean, they're spending a little too much time on this child... it's almost like an obsession at this point. No means No, Nolan. Anyhoo, Tony gives us the quick-and-dirty of Ryan's accolades and accomplishments... for good measure?
The pair finally find Paul. He's tossing a rock at a soda can he'd balanced atop a wooden fence. What a liar! I thought he was going to watch a game at the practice field? I guess maybe he just really wanted to get away from Nolan and his Feral Striped Associate. Anyhoo, after a few throws, Paul manages to SPANNG! the pop-can right off the fence post! He tries again... and goes back to missing. Tony and Nolan are there to cheer him on... insisting that, even though he missed... he's doing Gr-r-r-reat! Maybe if he keeps this up, he can one day be a Pitcher!
Get this... Paul suddenly thinks he's good enough to be in the Major Leagues! Wow, that was a dramatic shift in attitude, wunnit? Nolan quickly steps in to suggest our all-star "hold his horses" for a moment. There's more to Pitchin' than just throwin'... right?
Well, sure... there's definitely more to it than that, silly Paul. If you wanna be an athlete, you gotta start training like one... and what better way to begin a training regimen than with some sugar-saturated cereal! The gang heads over to Paul's house... which is shockingly devoid of adult supervision, and share "part of a complete breakfast" before Tony uses his saccharine-sorcery to manifest a pair of small dumbbells, so Nolan can show off some of his moves.
Then, it's out to the backyard so Ryan can show Paul the three basic pitches... the Fastball, the Curveball, and the Changeup. Ya know, when I was in Little League back in the long ago, we all thought we knew how to throw these sort of pitches... and, I swear we invented like dozens more way to hold the ball before throwing it (usually directly into the dirt in front of our feet).
Once the hand-positioning is established, Nolan goes into proper-form. If you use this page in order to become a Major League Superstar... when it comes time to make your Hall of Fame Induction Speech, please remember li'l ol' Chris and his Infinite Earths helped you out!
Whattaya know, it looks like Paul is a natural! Tony's bouncing around like he's Tigger, patting himself on the back and being all "Toldja so!". They head back to Paul's house, where Nolan tells him to keep practicing... and that he'll check in with him in a week. Well, ya gotta spend Frequent Flyer Miles somehow, right?
Anyhoo, we jump ahead one week... where there's a practice game going on... and, while Paul is given the "thumbs up" to play (after Tony and Nolan vouch for him, anyway), he's tossed way back in Right Field, which feels like the position usually given to the weak link on the team. As the game draws on into the evening, the goofball Pitcher Tommy is called in for dinner, leaving Paul's team short a player.
Nolan steps up and suggests they try Paul as Pitcher... annnnd, nobody's feelin' it. Nolan insists, and, I mean... who's going to argue with a future Hall of Famer, right? Certainly not me. And so, Paul's on the mound... where his mutant pitching power begins to manifest! Holy smokes.
Whattayaknow, Paul and his metahuman pitching prowess wins the day! He strikes out one awkward kid... which, I suppose is more than enough for us to witness his greatness. If this were the Jackie Joyner-Kersee issue, we'd probably be stuck seeing every single pitch he threw! Paul is lauded as an all-time neighborhood great... and is now the most in-demand pitcher on the block.
We wrap up with an epilogue some six months later. Nolan Ryan is enjoying yet another bowl of Kellogg's Frosted Flakes (wow, twice in one issue... you might have a problem, pal!). His sugar-rush is interrupted by the arrival of his good friend, Tony. He shows Nolan the latest Junior High School Sporting Newspaper, which reveals that, in the past half-year Paul Smith has made quite a name for himself! He credits all of his success to Nolan Ryan and Tony the Tiger. Could you imagine crediting a cartoon diabetes merchant for your accomplishments? Jeez, I'm gonna start telling people that my daily-blogging was all thanks to Lucky the Leprechaun.
We close out with Nolan frantically grabbing for his mitt... he's gotta head out to practice, after all... Paul's gaining on him!
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Ya know, I was fully prepared to look at all three of our Tony's Sports Series books with all sorts of derision and "enlightened" 2020 sensibilities... but, ya know what? These were all very earnest. If you've been with me for any amount of time, you'll know that I rate earnestness above nearly all else. I think the only thing I put above it is passion.
These weren't created as a piss-take, nor do they feel like they were half-hearted. Sure, we basically got three versions of the same story... and some nice sugary product-placement, but I can't shake the feeling that all involved had their hearts in the right place. Call me naive, call me an idiot... who knows? I feel like sharing messages like "try your best" and "never give up" is never a bad thing.
That said... there really isn't all that much to say about this story in particular. If you've already joined me for Ozzie and Jackie, this is more of the same. It's not bad, and it gets the job done. Art's good too, though I won't even hazard a guess as to who might've been responsible for it!
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Et-Cetera:
Jackie Joyner-Kersee (1992)
"High Hurdles!"
By: Your Guess is as Good as Mine!
Pencils - Prrrrrrobably Joe Staton & Angelo Torres?
Inks - Prrrrrobably Mike DeCarlo?
We're still looking at the weirdo-DC Comics/Kellogg's/Sports Illustrated books (just one more after this, I promise!)... and today we're going to jump off the baseball diamond and onto that ol' track they dug out around the football field back in high school!
Before that, I wanted to thank some reader-pals for filling me in on some of the creative team for yesterday's piece. So, whattaya think gang? Same folks on art chores this time out? Sure looks that way to me!
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Our story opens during track practice where we meet a young would-be track star named Jane as she fumbles over a hurdle. Tony the Tiger blows his whistle, and we learn that he's not just a creepy bystander this time out, but in fact the Coach of the track team! Gotta assume Frankenberry teaches Woodshop at whatever weirdo junior high school this is! Tony tells Jane she'll get it next time, but she's just not feelin' it... she figures she may as well quit.
Oh-ho, you ain't getting out of this that easily, young lady... at the very least, you're going to have to listen to a Tony the Tiger lecture over a bowl that contains part of a complete breakfast! And lecture, he does: he shares the story of a girl... named Jackie who grew up in East St. Louis, Illinois.
One day, Jackie watched a television program about the Olympic Champion, Mildred Ella "Babe" Didrikson Zaharias. It was there that she decided that she'd pursue Olympic stardom! She busted her hump to get hone her speed and skill... and even did whatever she could to support the Junior Olympics!
Tony finally reveals this isn't any ol' Jackie he's talking about... it's Jackie Joyner-Kersee! He hands Jane an autographed photo Jackie had given him a few years prior before getting back into his story. Ya see, Jackie was never negative... all of the obstacles (or, hurdles) that were put in her way, never slowed her down in pursuit of her goals.
Jane ponders for a moment before basically tellin' Tony to bug off. She ain't as good as Jackie Joyner-Kersee, and she never will be... so, why even bother? I, uh, think your motivational speech might've backfired there, Tigerkingman. Our bipedal beast realizes there's only one way he might be able to reach Jane... and that's by bribing her with a trip to meet Ms. Joyner-Kersee in person!
It's really not all that "personal" a visit (yet)... in fact, Jackie is conducting an assembly at a nearby Community Center where she is planning on discussing her career in Track and Field.
The overall messages here are "be the best you can be" and "never give up"... which, didn't work when Tony said it, but seem to have made a much bigger impact this time around... not completely, though!
It also helps that Jackie agreed to go back to Jane's school with her to give her some pointers... and so, the next half-dozen pages are more or less your basic 1980's movie "training montage". Jane slips up a few times, however, with the encouragement of Jackie (and Tony), she eventually clears the "high hurdle" of self-doubt.
We wrap up later that year, and it's the Regional Competition. Wouldja believe... Jane wins the race! Jackie and Tony are there to congratulate her on her victory, and (I assume) advancement to the Junior Olympics!
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This one was a bit weirder than yesterday's Ozzie Smith book. On one hand, I think I liked this one more... but on the other, I haven't the foggiest idea as to why that might be.
There's a lot of "dead space" in this story... dare I even call it "decompression". Can we even call a one-off "decompressed"? While this wasn't "writing for the trade", it most definitely was "writing for a specific page count".
I mean, did we really need four-pages of Ms. Joyner-Kersee's presentation? That felt like wayyy too much. Also, six pages of "training montage"? I think we could've gotten the point in one or two... panels, much less pages!
The art here was similar in strength to the Ozzie book... also, similar in look, so we might be able to assume that this too was a Staton/Torres/DeCarlo joint. Whatever the case, the book definitely looked nice!
Tomorrow we'll wrap up our three part look into Tony's Sports Series, when... most likely, some disheartened kid is escorted by Tony the Tiger to meet a prominent figure in their sport of choice! It's gonna be Nolan Ryan, so... yeah, more baseball!
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Et-Cetera:
Ozzie Smith (1992)
"The Kid Who Could!"
Writer - Your Guess is as Good as Mine!
Pencils - Joe Staton & Angelo Torres
Inks - Mike DeCarlo
Alright gang, got something a little... well, a lot off the "beaten path" today. You know me, I have a weird love of the weird and novel things DC has produced. That might not always (or ever) translate into "views", but... dammit, it's a lot of fun.
Today, we're going to look at the first (of three) issues of "Tony's Sports Comics" from Kellogg's, Sports Illustrated, and DC Comics. These are going to be weird and obscure... and I haven't the foggiest idea who wrote, drew, colored, or lettered a single one of 'em! If you have any ideas about the creative team... or, if perhaps you are part of the creative team, please shoot me a line!
SAME-DAY UPDATE: Thanks to the intrepid readers for hunting down some more information on the creative team for this issue! Joe Staton and Angelo Torres provided pencils, while Mike DeCarlo was on inks. Still don't know who might've written this bugger though!
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Our issue opens with a young fella named Peter having "part of a complete breakfast" with, I'm going to assume, his little brother. They're watching an... early-morning Cardinals game, you know Major League games usually start at 6 in the morning, right? I dunno, maybe they're playing in Japan or something. Anyhoo, out the window, Peter sees the other neighborhood kids gathering to play some ball themselves. He'd really like to be a part of this... and so, he shovels what's left of his Kellogg's Frosted Flakes down his gullet and heads outside to join in the frivolity. Only one problem with that... looks like the mastermind of the Neighborhood League, Andrew thinks that our Peter is too puny (wow, that's not a comfortable sentence to type out). Enter: A giant cat beast.
Turns out, as luck would have it, Tony the Tiger just so happened to be hanging out in St. Louis... and he's down to just hang out and watch some neighborhood kids play ball for a few hours. Anyhoo, after the game (which poor Peter sits out), Tony asks the gang if they'd like to meet a friend of his... a "little guy" who'd become a "giant" in Major League Baseball. They agree... hop into Tony's windowless van, and are never seen agai--, err, they're taken to a nearby ball field where some of the St. Louis Cardinals are practicing... including the man of the hour, Ozzie Smith!
After the practice session, Tony introduces Ozzie to his new friends. Ozzie is cordial, but confused... though, in fairness, he was just approached by a giant bipedal tiger beast. They decide to give Peter the opportunity to show 'em he's a tiger... show 'em what he can do, and so Andrew is ordered to the mound to throw some pitches. Whattayaknow... Peter just murders the ball with every swing!
After proving he can hit, Ozzie decides it's time for Peter to show his prowess on the field. Andrew is remanded to the mound again to pitch to the Wizard of Oz. Ozzie hits a few pitches in Peter's direction, but the poor kid winds up pullin' a Bill Buckner! Whoops! Ozzie shouts some words of support at the kid, and sure enough, Peter picks up on it quick!
As the sesh wraps up, Andrew's all "Yeah, Peter's pretty good... but, he's still too small!" Jesus, Andrew... whatta you want from this kid? He can't just decide to grow! Tony decides to intervene again... and gives the two kids tickets to the next Cardinals game. This really feels like it's building to a "don't talk to strangers" lesson, doesn't it?
Before we know it, Tony, Andrew, and Peter are at the game... and hanging out with Ozzie while the teams warm up. Ozzie and Tony decide to waste away the minutes before the game by... quizzing the kids on baseball! There are a lot of words on these pages, maaaan... no joke. It's neck-and-neck in the quiz-off, until Peter is able to answer a question that Andrew doesn't know!
Ozzie steps away to, ya know, play the game... and says Tony should continue quizzing the kids. It's here where Ozzie delivers the line of the book: "If they pass the test, they'll have a perfect score!" Da hell? First, that don't make no sense... Second, Andrew's already missed a question! Pay attention, Ozzie man!
The next several pages feature Ozzie Smith kickin' butt on the field... making amazing catches and even scoring the winning touchdown run!
We wrap up with Andrew finally relenting and, with a wink to the reader, allowing Peter to play in his neighborhood league.
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Not since we joined LeBron James on his quest to find "the flava", have we read such a weird sports story here at the site... and, for the most part... it was pretty fun! Dumb, borderline creepy, and somewhat inarticulate... but fun!
It's definitely one of those books that "defies analysis"... and so, I'm not going to go too deep. I also feel like, looking back with (urgh) 2020-vision, this could be viewed a bit differently than it was intended... maybe? I feel like there's a fair amount of "innocence" we need in order to to "buy-in" and fully appreciate this... but, call it jadedness, cynicism, or just a tendency toward black humor, and this one could go sideways at any moment.
The "lesson" taught here isn't anything all that novel... and really, why the hell am I even going down this path? It's a feel good story facilitated by a cereal mascot. I really ought to just let it be. The art was good... Tony's depiction was especially "spot on". Yeah, I guess that's all I really have to say!
Overall it wasn't...
... but, it wasn't the worst thing either! If you come across this thing for a buck-or-below (like I did), I'd encourage you to snag it for the novelty alone!
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Et-Cetera:
