Monday, April 6, 2020

Brave and the Bold #150 (1979)


Brave and the Bold #150 (May, 1979)
"Today Gotham... Tomorrow, the World!"
Writer - Bob Haney
Art - Jim Aparo
Colors - Jerry Serpe
Edits - Paul Levitz
Cover Price: $0.40

Just a random one from the pile.

Hmm, maybe I ought to say: Just a ran-dumb one from the pile?

Let's take a look!

--


We open with Batman watching a wedding procession... a happy bride and groom are rushing out of the church toward their waiting luxury car.  Batman is there due to some terrorist threats having been made... and, whattayaknow, the baddies are actually the happy couple!  They abduct a businessman named Edward T. Weeks, before riddling some passerbys with bullets and hopping into their ride and heading off on their "honeymoon".  Batman attempts to hop on the top of the car, however, the thing suddenly sprouts spikes!  Welp, I'm not even sure what's going on just yet... but, we'll roll with it.


Later on at one of the passerby's funeral, Batman meets up with the Commish... who, uh... is kind of acting snippy.  I must concede, I don't have a ton of experience with 70's Batman, was Batman and Gordon's relationship this combative (or catty) back then?  Anyhoo, after "pleasantries" are exchanged, they spy a note on the coffin which states that Bruce Wayne will be the terrorists' next target!


And whattayaknow, on the very next page... Bruce Wayne is taken hostage!  Ya see, the baddies had wired the Stately Manor's phone line with electricity.  Good thing they didn't get that good a look at the place, otherwise they might've found... well, ya know.  Oh well, Bruce wakes up some time later inside an old silo, a fake-ass Cobra Commander stood before him.  The geek snaps a pic of our man to prove to the public that he's got 'im.


Bruce is then introduced to the slab of beef who will be keeping a watch over him.  It's Moses Karns... or, "Keeper" Karns, if you prefer.  Oh, and we also learn that the baddies have kidnapped Alfred, so if Bruce tries to escape, his faithful butler will be killed.  Karns (awkwardly) backhands Bruce to let him know he means business.


Bruce... get this, strikes back!  The two men exchange blows for a bit, with Karns getting the better of the situation.  Well, Bruce makes it clear that he "let him win" in order to not raise any suspicion... which begs the question, why even bother throwing a punch in the first place?


Later, Bruce spies some loose boards in the roof of the silo.  He takes apart his mattress, which just so happens to be held together by some of the thickest rope you could ever hope to tie a knot with... and manages to escape his circular prison.  Before long, he's back on the streets in the Bat-suit checking in with the Catty Commissioner.


I mean, there's definitely something up Gordon's ass here.  I really don't get why he's being such a jerk.  Anyhoo, after more "pleasantries" are exchanged... Batman learns that a "historical print" (a drawing of some old Gotham mining digs) was stolen from his father's private art collection at the Gotham Museum.  He then heads back to the silo before the baddies could be any the wiser.  Unfortunately, Keeper Karns has noticed that his prisoner was missing... he nyoinks Wayne back into the silo, informing him that his neck is on the line here too.


Just then, Cobra Commander enters the silo... which seems to get larger dependent on how many people are inside it.  Anyhoo, he has brought that Edward Weeks fella with him... because he wants Bruce Wayne to witness Weeks' execution!  And... well, that's exactly what happens!  Wayne is forced to sign a plea for the the Mayor and Commissioner... what this "plea" says, however, is anyone's guess.  This terrorist group wants power... it's pretty boilerplate bad-guy stuff.


After the dust settles, and Bruce is left all to his lonesome... he devises a plan.  He snaps off a chunk of his bedpost and calls for Keeper Karns to enter the silo.  Get this, Karns appears to phase through the silo wall... when he, uh... "materializes" (I guess?) Bruce wacks him over the noggin with the bedpost.  He rushes off to check in with the Commish at the morgue... only to learn that Edward Weeks is... alive?!  No bullets in his bod... and all of his wounds "neatly sutured".  Batman insists that, for all intents and purposes, Weeks must "stay dead"... for now.  Gordon doesn't understand the plan... but goes along with it anyway.


Back by the Silo, Keeper Karns rushes the Caped Crusader... and, check this out, calls him "Wayne"!  Oh man, the Keeper knows the secret?!


Batman is tossed back into Silo, where he changes (or is forcibly changed) back into his civilian attire.  Cobra Commander arrives a little bit later to reveal the next step in his "plan".  Ya see, he's hidden an atomic device somewhere in Gotham City... and, if his "demands" (whatever the hell they are?) aren't met by Thursday, the entire City's gonna go boom.  Very "all or nothing" guy, this generic masked terrorist.


For good measure, however, he trots in Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth... and orders Bruce to kill him!  At this point... Keeper Karns (?) starts to rumble with the bad guys!  He, Bruce, and Alfred fight back the guards before beating a hasty retreat!


During the skirmish, it becomes clear to Bruce that his "Keeper" has been, in reality... Superman!  We learn that he's in Gotham because Jimmy Olsen was one of the people the bad guys abducted.


Oh, we also find out that the bad guys are part of an organization called the Battalion of Doom... ya kidding me?  Oh well.  The baddies called Olsen's (and Kent's) boss, Morgan Edge to tell them they had Jimmy and to coerce some cooperation out of the news media.  Edge refuses, because he's an a-hole.  He even tells the terrorists to "go ahead and kill him!"... the "him", of course, being Jimmy.


So... Superman threatened Edge, and went undercover as Keeper Karns (the real Karns... because, I guess there's a real one... is locked away in a Mexican prison).  He knew if the Battalion saw Superman in the skies of Gotham, they wouldn't hesitate to "off" Olsen.  He claims that he didn't fill Bruce in on his true identity because he didn't know if the Silo was bugged.  Okay... about that... this is pre-Crisis Superman, right?  The fella who could, if he wanted to, push entire planets out of orbit... could perform precision surgery... could basically do anything, is what I'm trying to say... and he couldn't deduce whether or not a single Silo was wired?!


The World's Finest then put their heads together trying to figure out where the Battalion of Doom might've locked up the rest of their hostages (including Jimmy Olsen).  It's Alfred who cracks the code by... looking at a newspaper.  Ya see, Cobra Commander always carried around this particular copy of The Gotham Gazette (which wasn't made apparent in the art).  Anyhoo, there are certain letters circled on the rag... and, if you held it up to an equal-sized map of Gotham City (which the fellas conveniently have) we learn the eight locations where the hostages were being held.  Batman calls Gordon to fill him in.


An hour later, eight simultaneous raids take place.


Now, all that's left is finding the atomic device.  Superman realizes he's going to have to reveal himself... and, get this, "Jimmy will have to take his chances".  I suppose the lives of everyone in Gotham are worth more than Jimmy.  Heck, I'd probably step on Jimmy before squashing an ant, personally.


Superman and Batman check all around Gotham for clues... until the latter finally comes across one!  At the Gotham Museum, he spies a note crudely scrawled on some of the signage to "check office, old print".  He suddenly remembers how that one print of his father's had been recently stolen.


If you recall, it was some old mining diagram.  We learn that it was of an old lead mine... as luck would have it, it's just adjacent to the Batcave!  Man, if only this Battalion tried a little harder, they'd have had all the goods on Batman.  They wired Wayne Manor... they're messing about in mines next to the Batcave... so close, yet so far.


Superman... for whatever reason... changes his clothes into that of a sewer inspector (complete with phony mustache!) and heads into the lead mine.  Wouldn'tcha know it... he finds the atomic device!  He grabs the thing and chucks it into orbit before it blows... and the day is saved!


--

This was... hmm... what the word... uh... oh, yeah... pretty dumb!

Not outright bad or anything... but, ya know, kind of a chore to get through?  Felt endless... and not in a good way.  Ya know how some comics feel like they last forever, but you still come out of it wanting more?  This was not one of those comics.

The entire premise here is very "threat of the week"... likely not anything that will ever need to come up again down the line.  That's all well and good, I guess... but, damned if I felt like the last several hours of my life I've devoted to this thing was time well spent.

Let's look at Superman for a bit.  I know he was powerful in the Silver and Bronze Ages... but, dude can phase through walls now?  I don't understand what was up with that scene... and, yeah, "it's Haney", so why bother even thinking about it... but, where did that even come from... and, what's more... why?  When I saw that, I figured "Okay, so the secret co-star is probably... Martian Manhunter, then?"  But, no!  It's wall-phasing Superman!  Did I miss something here?  I do have a tendency to be dense every now and again... maybe this is one of those times!

Also, how could Superman not know where the rest of the hostages were?  I get that the nukes were buried under lead... but, he should've been able to suss out the other abductees, right?  So weird... and uneven.  We're playing the ball from like four or five different positions on the field here!

What was up Jim Gordon's ass here?  Were he and Batman on contentious terms in the late 70's?  That doesn't feel right to me, though, again... 70's Batman isn't really my jam or wheelhouse, so I can't speak to that with any authority.  Just felt really forced here.  Maybe a reader with more experience with this era can fill me in/set me straight?

The art was mostly great.  There were a few very awkward panels... but, overall, up to the standard we'd expect from Jim Aparo.

Overall... well, personally, I'd say you could skip this one and not miss it... though, if you're down with the "Zaney", you may absolutely love this... and think that I'm a damned fool (which I very well may be!).  This issue has been collected in trade a few times over and is available digitally.

--

(Not Quite the) Letters Page (click to enlarge):



--

Interesting Ads:


Sunday, April 5, 2020

BIZARRO BREAK #10 - Aquaman


BIZARRO BREAK #10 (Aquaman)
Story - Mike Doughty
Art - Danny Hellman
Edits - Joey Cavalieri

Time for another BizarroBreak... and, we're breaking into the double-digits!  Odd that I was using these short-bits as a "break", when this one felt like it took me forever to write up!

It should go without saying, it's going to be weird... let's get into it! 

--



Our story opens with Aquaman (with guitar) about to enter a subway car.  As he approaches the train, a newspaper with the headline "Batman Smashes Dope Ring" floats past.  After taking his seat, we learn that he's heading to a bar so he can take part in an "open mic night" sort of situation.  He relishes in the fans' adoration of his music... but, it always comes back to feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt.  His mental monologue is interrupted by a voice.  He turns, and realizes that it was a... wait for it... fish chatting him up about whether or not he knows Batman.  Wonk, wonk.  I'd usually go into my "c'mon [insert writer name] a 'talks to fish' gag in an Aquaman story?  You're better than this!", however... it's a Bizarro story, which might be the only place I'm kind of cool with it.



Before long, we arrive at the bar... and it looks a bit like dollar-store version of the Star Wars cantina scene.  We've got humans, robots, sea creaturs... probably an alien or two... all there to perform on stage.  Aquaman spies the "competition", and realizes they're basically all a bunch of losers with limited performance options... just like him.



After suffering through a plethora of crappy acts, our man finally takes the stage.  He's got a song called "Mera" he'd really like to share with the crowd... and, woof... it doesn't sound like it'll be a "Top 40" hit.  Anyhoo, just as he's getting into it, Aquaman's song is interrupted...



... by Robin, the Boy Wonder!  He immediately takes command of the crowd... and, much to the chagrin of our feature character, the stage as well!  The peanut gallery really wants to know what it's like to hang out with the vaunted caped crusader... which, poor Artie can't even hope to compete with... and so, he retires to one of the tables on the floor, lamenting the fact that he ever told Robin about these "Open Mic Nights".



His pity-party is interrupted (wow, lots of interruptions in this one!) by a woman... who really seemed to dig his music!  Artie doesn't seem to be buyin' it for one second (and I can't blame him!), but plays along anyway (and, again, I can't blame him!).  He informs the gal that this is just a hobby... something he does as a "release".  In reality, he's a crime-fighter.  She brushes that aside and tells him how sexy he is when he sings.  How much has she had to drink?



Before we know it, Arthur and whatsherface are at a Chinese restaurant.  The live eels in the tank are talking... unfortunately, it's not in English.  There, the couple chat about Mera... and Aquaman waxes poetic about how he ought to create a "Black Box Recorder of Love".  Da hell?



Despite all this, the gal invites Arthur back to her place... and, upon arrival, we can see that she's sort of a superhero groupie!  Or, at least, a very passionate comic book fan.  Aquaman checks out her photo wall, and sees the Batman and Robin pic from the Tony Millionaire story in this very book (ooh, meta!).



Upon seeing this... and learning how "into" the Dynamic Duo his date is, Aquaman starts getting a bit skittish, and decides it's time for him to split.  He excuses himself and heads home much to the astonishment of this girl who was probably expecting an eventful evening.



We rejoin Aquaman back at his apartment wallowing in self-pity, when... get this, he's interrupted by the arrival of his roommate, Green Arrow!  He's got a weird vampire-looking girl with him, and they both have a good laugh at the sad-sack.



After Ollie and the Vamp excuse themselves to go bang in the next room over, Aquaman pikcs up his guitar and proceeds to pluckin'.  Outside his apartment, we can see the Bat-Signal illuminating in the night.



--

I can't help but to feel like I didn't quite "receive" this one the way it was intended.  I can't shake the sensation that I was supposed to find this incredibly deep and meaningful... like, as in we were actually getting "into the head" of Aquaman, and getting a close look at all of his hang-ups (emotional, romantic, self-esteem).  And, don't get me wrong, that's all in here... but, I dunno... there's an odd "preciousness" to it as well, which really turns me off.

Now Aquaman has been sort of a "punching bag" in the comics pantheon for friggin' ever, right?  In fact, I'm convinced there are only two kinds of Aquaman stories ever told nowadays.  The first, plays Aquaman off as a joke character... the second, is him proving he's not a joke character.  I like him as a serious character, however, anytime it's done... the specter of "Ya see?  Aquaman's no joke!" is always there.  It never feels intrinsic, natural, or organic... it's always in a "point to prove" sort of way.

Here... it's like we're playing this weird analogy game.  The jokier aspects of his character and power set have effected his self-esteem... and it seems like he really feels inadequate when compared to Batman.  Well, fair enough I guess... that I can work with, if only the entire tone wasn't so "cute".

Worth noting, I really dug the art here... and, ya know what... despite it going against basically everything I stand for when it comes to Aquaman (which admittedly, isn't much), I was even okay with the "talks to fish" bits.

Saturday, April 4, 2020

Action-Plus: Ambush Bug (AC560 - 1984)


Action-Plus: Ambush Bug (October, 1984)
"Police Blotter"
Writer - Robert Loren Fleming
Pencils - Keith Giffen
Inks - Bob Oksner
Colors - Antony Tollin
Letters - John Costanza
Edits - Julius Schwartz
From: Action Comics #560

Boy, did yesterdays piece on Joe Kubert's The Redeemer go over like a lead balloon!  I was quite taken aback as to how nobody gave a crap about it.  I suppose that's just another indictment that I really don't have the foggiest idea what comics enthusiasts might be interested in.  Oh well, no use crying over spilt milk (and many, many wasted hours), it's not like I'm going to "One Punch" y'all a few times a week.  Anyhow, let's head back into Action-Plus.

Interestingly enough, this Ambush Bug back-up actually gets the cover of the issue!  That didn't happen all that often... pretty neat!

--


Clark Kent enters A. Bug Enterprises, a detective agency in a bad part of town.  Inside, he finds Ambush Bug mopping the floor.  He thinks to himself how odd it is that Arkham Asylum would ever let this "fruit fly" out.



Ambush Bug dramatically gets into his detective gear... trench coat, fedora, and cigarette!  He hops onto his side of the desk... and notices something.  There's something sorta familiar about this Clark Kent.  He bears a striking resemblance to... nah, couldn't be.



Following up on his hunch, he walks behind Clark and gives him the cape approximation of a wedgie... still uncertain, he licks his finger and adjusts Clark's spit curl.  The jig is most definitely up.  The Bug laughs at the feeble civilian disguise (perhaps some meta-commentary?) and Superman beats a hasty retreat.



We are then treated to Ambush Bug's secret origin.  Irwin Schwab was just a normal man who was raised by television... it all gets twisted when he visits the Metropolis Library for the first time.  He discovers that "real life" is just like a "movie of the week"... and vows to rid the world of social problems.



The next morning, Clark Kent wakes up from an Ambush Bug dream filled night... he just can't shake the Bug out of his head!



We shift scenes to Arkham Asy... State Hospital.  Inside, Schwab's former clinician (Derwood) is lamenting the release of his most high profile client.  Bud Lipschitz, the Director of Arkham promises him some very early 80's replacement clients to make up for it.



Later that day we watch as Ambush Bug takes the law into his own hands when he "arrests" a Buick whose meters had run out.  The day is saved!



We wrap up with Bug visiting Clark at the Galaxy Building while dressed as a Samurai... Clark plays the perfect straight-man here for all of A.B.'s nuttiness.  It's alluded that this is the Bug's "first episode" and he promises to commit hara-kiri at the end of his sixth.



--

This back-up story... which, let's face it... was the selling point for this issue, was pretty neat.  It's amazing to see a character not unlike the contemporary Deadpool in 1980's DC Comics.  I like the idea of Ambush Bug being something of a comedic foil for Superman... I'm not used to seeing Superman (especially of this era) being so bothered/rubbed wrong by somebody.  Seeing him in the position of the "straight man" in a comedy duo was really a lot of fun.

When I first put this one together, back in 2016 or so, I was hoping that maybe Ambush Bug would've gotten some love in the post-Rebirth DC Universe... which, I don't think ever happened.  To my knowledge, the last time we saw him prior to Rebirth was in was the Convergence: Supergirl/Matrix mini-series, which was decent if I recall correctly... and before that, his stint as a news reporter for the Channel 52 bits that used to clog the back pages of the early New-52 era books.


What's really sad is, if they had decided to bring him back... fans today would see him as nothing more than a Deadpool-ripoff.  Hmm... maybe that's why they didn't?
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