Amazing Spider-Man #267 (August, 1985)
"The Commuter Cometh!"
Writer - Peter David
Art - Bob McLeod
Letters - Joe Rosen
Colors - Bob Sharen
Edits - Jim Owsley
Chief - Jim Shooter
Cover Price: $0.65
I've said it time and again... if you ever start your pitch with "Wouldn't it be funny if..." you've got a stinker on your hands. Well... maybe I'd forgotten about the little ditty we're going to discuss today. Because, we're about to learn when Peter David asks "Wouldn't it be funny if Spider-Man went to the suburbs... where there are no tall buildings to swing from?", the answer is most definitely... Yes!
But first, I wanna thank everyone for their comments... and, again apologize for my lack of interaction. Been a hectic-er than usual week with school and content-creation... I'll hopefully be more chatty very soon!
Now, let's hit da 'burbs!
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We open with Spidey bein' all sullen-like, sticking on to a building, wallowing in some recent misfortune. That's... kinda one of the things he does. His thought process is interrupted by the arrival of the Human Torch, with whom he shares a little bit of small-talk... and accidentally happens across some topless-rooftop-sunbathers. After chatting for a bit before Peter decides he's just going to call it a night. They part company, and Spidey spies a fella in a nearby boutique who looks like he's about to loot the place.
Our man swoops in to get a better look, and sure 'nuff this dude has designs on robbin' the joint. Upon seeing Spidey, the baddie grabs a nearby mannequin, and threatens to shoot it. Well, this must be one life-like dummy, because Spider-Man buys it! Not helping matters is the fact that the mannequin actually looks a bit freaked out... almost like it knows it's been taken hostage! Ehh, maybe I'm just seein' things... Whatever the case, the would-be robber gives Spidey the slip with this subterfuge, and flees down into the subway.
Our thief hops the turn-styles and quickly goes to hop on board a train. Spidey follows, but is stopped by the police. Ya see, this is still early yet in the Black Costume Saga, and New York's Finest aren't quite sure what to make of this "new" vigilante. Before he's able to get on the Grand Central-bound train, Spider-Man does manage to toss a Spider-Tracer onto the bad-guy's back.
We jump ahead to later that night. Both Spider-Man and Ron (the bad guy) arrive at their respective homes. Peter, naturally is at his New York City apartment, while Ron lives wayyy out in da burbs. Pete watches (I'm assuming) Dallas all by his lonesome, while Ron dines and sleeps with his wife.
The following morning, Peter gets up, has breakfast, and heads out on the town in hopes of tracking down his Spider-Tracer... and, also... the bad guy. Ron sleeps in. Looks like he's not going to work in the City today. Worth noting, Peter has cereal with milk. Nothing weird about that, right? Only thing is, the quickest way to make me sick... to make me gag... is to see someone eating cereal and milk. There is really nothing more disgusting to me. Just the thought of soggy cereal, and discolored milk... and, and... and... when the cereal's gone, and whoever's eating it kinda tips the bowl into their mouth to finish the rest of the milk? Ugh... you can't see it, but I'm fighting off the urge to gag as I type this!
Anyhoo, Spidey (in his red-and-blues) spends the better part of the day trying to trace the tracer... but, is coming up short. He eventually deduces that this feller probably ain't in the City... and so, he heads back to his pad to pick up his Tracer-Tracer Gimmick, to amplify the signal... which places him atop a train bound for... suburbia!
Our hero gets a pretty lousy welcome to the 'burbs by... a Doberman! Spidey shuts the pup up quick.
On the sidewalk, he runs into a tot on a bigwheel named Shana. She asks if he's a stranger... and, uh... kid, if you have to ask... Anyhoo, she offers up her trike for Spidey to get around the neighborhood... but, he turns her down... claiming, if she's Shana... he's going to make like Ka-Zar. Let's not think too deeply about that one, okay? In a funny bit, he shoots his web at... nothing! Ya see, there are no skyscrapers to swing from out here! Spidey winds up in a tree... which breaks... nearly crushing poor Shana!
At this point, our man is confronted by a pair of nudnick suburbanites (hey, I can say that... I am a suburban nudnick). The fella is ticked that Spidey broke his tree... the fella's wife seems to just wanna feel up our hero's butt!
After getting hassled (and felt up?) for a bit, Spidey webs them to the roof of their car. He hops a lift on a passing bus to continue tracing-the-tracer. The driver, upon realizing he's got a rooftop stowaway, pulls over and demands Spider-Man pay his fare! Welp, no pockets... no money, so Spidey's outta luck!
In a pretty funny scene, we watch as Spider-Man just... walks... though a suburban neighborhood. Love it!
He finally comes across a pair of Spider-Fans, in the form of garbage men! They offer Spidey a lift on their truck... and, ya know what they say about beggars and choosers, right?
We jump back to Ron's house, where he's spending his day off doing a bit of laundry. All the while, Spider-Man draws ever nearer to finding his tracer. Ronnie discovers the tracer while tossing a load into the wash... and, upon realizing just what it is... stomps it to pieces!
Spidey was so close... yet so far. Thankfully, ol' Ron figures the jig is up... and so, he grabs a bunch of dirty dough, and decides to make a break for it... nearly running over our hero in the process!
Spider-Man fires a web at the back of Ron's Volvo... but, unfortunately only manages to yank its rear bumper off!
As luck would have it, a taxicab happens to drive by. In the suburbs? Before Uber? C'maaaaahn. This driver doesn't speak any English either... which, I guess we'll allow. Doesn't seem like he'd do great business in this lilly-white neighborhood though. Anyhoo, Spidey's all "follow that car!" (which he thankfully doesn't follow up with "I always wanted to say that") and a chase... is on!
As the chase makes its way through the neighborhood, we catch glimpses of all our new friends... Shana, the creepy-couple, the garbage men, the bus... it's like old home week! Everything goes to pot pretty quick, we've got some fender-bending... and Spider-Man bounds over the trash truck and lands right on Ronnie's ride!
We wrap up with Spider-Man saving the day... or, at least catching the crook... as all the wacky suburbanites act... well, wacky... and suburban. Spidey laments just how crazy it is... out in the 'burbs!
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Man... I love this issue. Makes me really miss reading Spider-Man... it's just too bad they stopped making Spidey comics all them years ago! Err... a-hem.
This was just an absolute blast. So much silly fun, making Spider-Man a bit of a fish out of water. The gags, under a less skilled writer would have likely fallen a bit flat... but David manages to pull it off. It doesn't overstay its welcome... it doesn't insist upon itself... it also doesn't pat itself on the back for being clever, which I very much appreciate.
I really enjoyed that, upon arrival in Scarsdale, or wherever... Spidey just instinctively shot a web... expecting it to connect to a tall building. That panel alone... is just a riot! It's like you can feel the realization hitting him as the sad little web-line unceremoniously plops down on the street. So much fun. Also, running into some weirdos... that's always a good time! What do suburbanites know from heroes in the city, right? Bringing everything together at the end, as if it were an episode of Seinfeld was a lot of fun too! Obviously worth mentioning, the art was pretty fantastic throughout!
If you haven't read this one... and, I wager many of you have... I'd recommend doing so just as quick as you can! If it's been awhile since you've read it (like it had been for me), I'd say it's definitely worth a revisit. Peter David's written plenty of Spider-Man (plenty of great Spider-Man, including my favorite Spider-Man story: The Death of Jean DeWolff!)... but it's definitely a shame he didn't get an sustained run on the flagship Amazing Spider-Man.
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New Mutants #18 (August, 1984)
"Death-Hunt"
Writer - Chris Claremont
Art - Bill Sienkiewicz
Colors - Glynis Wein
Letters - Tom Orzechowski
Edits - Ann Nocenti
Chief - Jim Shooter
Cover Price: $0.60
Welcome back to the Merry Marvel Month of May, here at the humble site! I'm beyond happy that the sudden shift to the #MarvelMay gimmick month has been positively received!
Today, we're going to look at and discuss, what I'm guessing was probably my first issue of "classic" New Mutants... that is to say, pre-Rob Liefeld New Mutants. Back in the long ago, when I was "back-filling", these scary Sienkiewicz issues were among my top priority when it came to this title.
This was, ehh, probably the late 90's, so the bottom of the back-issue market hadn't quite dropped out yet... so, these issues were still demanding quite a bit of coin (well, for me anyway). I managed to snag the entire "Demon Bear" story in this raggedy old dog-eared trade collection I happened across at a used bookstore.
I think I even paid over cover-price for it! What's more... I was happy to do it, because it meant I'd get to read the whole story! It's been a long while since I've revisited it... so, without further ado... let's hurdle over those hyphens!
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We open with a striking splash page featuring Dani Moonstar huddled under a big blanket, scared out of her wits by the bear that haunts her dreams. The bear is depicted in the quilt pattern... just awesome stuff. We don't linger long, however... instead, we hop outside the school grounds where Rachel Summers is hoping to meet up with Professor Xavier. She flashes back... to the future, well... her childhood in the future. It makes sense, trust me. Anyhoo, she thinks back to the time when the government stormed the school...
... and assassinated Professor X! Rachel is stopped by an officer passing by the grounds, who asks if she's lost. She just tells him that she's there to see the Prof. Officer really doesn't seem to care one way or another. She decides at this point, that it's best that she actually head up to the school and knock on the door.
Inside, we join the New Mutants in a Danger Room Scenario. New Mutant sessions were always so much more fun than the regular X-Men trainings. The kids, as we see here, have so much to learn about their powers... and we actually get to watch them sorta "grow into" them. Here we see Sam, who despite being the oldest member of the team, appears to have the most trouble when it comes to controlling his combustible powers... this time, however, he does okay.
We also see here that Sam's got the old hot-pants for Magma. He's very protective of her, even though she probably really doesn't need it. This session is being watched by Dani and Illyana... who have less offensive (ya know, physical "fighty") powers, so they sat this one out.
Illyana can see that Dani's mind is elsewhere, and asks what might be troubling her. Moonstar sort of dodges the question by alluding to the fact that she's not sure who she can trust anymore. This is a reference to a recent issue where she and Magik popped one year into the future, to find all of their teammates workin' for the bad guys. She does not mention anything about the bear in her dreams.
The conversation is interrupted by a ringing of the door bell. Illyana heads up to check it out... and finds: Rachel. Rachel, who knew Magik in her time, kinda freaks out... and runs away.
We next jump to a three-page interlude introducing us to techno-organic Sienkiewiczian alien... Warlock! Oh, also his father, Magus. We'd learn a whole lot more about him/them over the course of the next little while.
Back at the school, Dani is putting herself through a Danger Room session of her own. In it, she's honing her archery talent against... you guessed it... a bear! Illyana asks what's up wit dat... to which, Dani suggests that this will make her a more valuable team member on the battlefield. When asked "Why a bear?", she laughs and says "Gotta start somewhere.". Illyana ain't buyin' it... and Dani knows it.
Later that night, Dani feels she's ready to face the bear that killed her parents. Oh, I don't think I'd mentioned it to this point... but, this Demon Bear killed Dani's folks. Moonstar heads outside the school, trudging through the snow... to a place where she can summon the beast.
Well, this might be one'a them "be careful what you wish for" sort of situations... What a page!
The battle begins... and, from the looks of things... Dani's holding her own! She's actually doing some serious damage. Or so she thinks...
Suddenly, Rahne is shocked awake. She gathers the rest of the New Mutants to head outside, where they find Danielle... bleeding out in the snow!
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Ah... this is still wonderful!
We almost gotta start... with the art. I'll concede that perhaps Bill Sienkiewicz ain't for everybody. Personally... I love it! It's such a weird fit for a "kids team" book, ya know? I remember the first time I'd ever saw it... and it disturbed me! Many long-time readers know, I came into the comics fandom via ElfQuest back in the mid-late 80's. I started collecting the Marvel-Epic run of the book, which... as a Marvel book... was crammed full of Marvel ads. Stands to reason, right?
Well, I remember coming across a Sienkiewicz New Mutants ad... and, woof... it bothered me. Like, a lot. I didn't quite know what to make of it... all I knew, is that it really bothered me. I never thought that this book would wind up becoming one of my favorites... and that this peculiar artist would eventually be a reason why I'd actually buy a book, and not a reason why I'd avoid one!
Bill's work, perhaps especially here, during Dani's battle with the Demon Bear... is... disturbing, ugly, and beautiful. Even 30 years later (for me), this art never fails to evoke an almost visceral reaction. Sienkiewicz shows such amazing versatility between the innocent faces of the children... and the absolute nightmare that is the Demon Bear. Just amazing... can't help but to gush. Hard to believe this is the very first time we're discussing his work here on the site!
The story... also very strong. This totally takes me back to the first time I'd x-perienced Claremont's work. Not only do we get a great (and fleshed out) chapter of a story here... but, in classic-Claremont form, we're also given a handful of subplots left to bubble in the background, promising to become more and more prevalent as we move forward. The Rachel scenes, as well as the Warlock interlude really inform us as to "what's to come" in this title (and the X-Men line overall). I miss things like this... so very much. There isn't a feeling of padding to fill a collection here. This is a story being told serially... and, it's just excellent.
Overall... if you haven't read these early-ish issues of the New Mutants... I'd definitely recommend 'em! If you're "on the fence" about Bill Sienkiewicz (as I know some are), I'd encourage you to give him a shot here!
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Fantastic Four #232 (July, 1981)
"Back to the Basics!"
Words & Pictures - John Byrne
Inks - Bjorn Neyn
Letters - Jim Novak
Colors - Glynis Wein
Edits - Jim Salicrup
Chief - Jim Shooter
Cover Price: $0.50
Waitasec... what in the world? Why is there a Marvel book in this DC Comics site? How in the heck is your humble host going to shoe-horn this issue of Fantastic Four into jiving with the DC-centric mission statement of this place?!
Well, the short answer is... I ain't!
The long answer is... writing about DC Comics of late has been... I dunno, not so satisfying. I feel like I'm letting my disdain for "current year" DC Comics affect my enjoyment of the older stuff... and figured, with the month of May upon us, maybe we go for a bit of a "gimmick" (while also making advantageous use of alliteration!). A...
[Imagine a "Marvel May" logo here...]
That's right, it's #MarvelMay! It's time to revisit some old favorites from the company that "brought me to the dance" as a comics fan. I hope this isn't too off-putting to regular readers... and I apologize if it is. I'm just at the point where I've reached burn out (or perhaps... "byrne out") with DC... and it came down to either a brief change in format, or just calling it a day. I even briefly thought about reviving #BrightestMay... but, I don't know if I could handle the disinterest! Ain't nobody cared none 'bout dat!
In many of my recent pieces, I've had to edit out a lot of snark... and a bit of vitriol. For instance, anytime I'd discuss Superman, I'd have a pithy remark about "current year" Superman. I don't wanna be "that guy", ya know? I want this place to be somewhere we can all come, and just bask in all that's good about this medium we all hold so dear. I suppose we can thank and/or blame Flash Forward for tippin' that final domino, haha!
Anyhoo, it's been a long while since I've read much Marvel... so, this is going to be a bit of a "rediscovery" situation for me. I think it's going to be a lot of fun and evoke a lot of memories... I hope you decide to accompany me on this journey!
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We open with the villainous Diablo working on some alchemical concoction... in his apartment. At first blush (and from the cover), you might figure he's in some sort of crazy church... or even, the bowels of Hell itself... but, nah... he's just in his apartment. Turns out, he's making so much racket and stinkin' up the place that his landlord interrupts... whatever it is he's doing. Well, what's doing is playing with "elemental forces"... more on that, shortly.
We shift scenes to Sue at Casa Tindolini Salon, where she's getting her hair done. Feels like a very Byrne-y scene to include here. Anyhoo, her stylist... Mr. Tindolini hisself, is a pretty sassy fellow, who is either famous for his asymmetrical haircuts... or, just didn't finish Sue's new do, because... it kind of look like the bowl slipped a bit. Anyhoo, a giant earthen beast rises from the ground... and attacks the Salon!
This Monster has designs on our Invisible Girl. Tindolini gets the heck out of dodge, basically tellin' poor Sue that she's on her own. The Monster bashes its way into the joint, and sprays Sue with cement! Boy, that'd be a difficult line to deliver verbally.
We shift scenes across town, where Ben and Alicia are leaving a showing of The Elephant Man. I assumed this was a reference to the 1980 David Lynch film, but Ms. Masters says it was a play. Whatever the case, this performance really tugged at Mr. Grimm's heartstrings.
Suddenly... it starts raining? Well, no... not really. It's here that Ben finds himself attacked by... a water-themed elemental force! The drink engulfs him, threatening to drown him where he stands. Ben thrashes his way down the street trying to bust out of the bubble.
Meanwhile, in Central Park... Johnny Storm meets up with his on-again/off-again Frankie Raye. They have a sort of contentious chat... but, it's clear to see that they still care for one another. Just then, it's Johnny's turn to get (literally) swept up in the elemental nonsense! He's attacked by a miniature tornado!
Next stop, the Baxter Building... where Mr. Fantastic is labbing away in his laboratory. We've already seen Earth, Wind, and Water... so, it's clear to see where this might be headed. Before we know it, Reed is attacked by some living flame! He manages to escape by turning himself into a bit of a ping-pong ball and bouncing out to safety... so he can ponder the situation further.
Out in the open, Reed makes like a flying squirrel, and starts to glide. As he soars over Central Park, he is signaled by Frankie. Ya know, it's hard to just call her "Frankie"... I always wanna say "Frankie Raye". Anyhoo, she fills Reed in on what just went down with Johnny and the Wind...
... and it isn't long before Stretcho is able to catch-up with his brother-in-law. In his pursuit, Reed starts to tangle with the tornado... and manages to sort of "wrap it up" in his elongated appendages. By this point, the Living Flame arrives on the scene as well... so, the odds are evened! Johnny Flames On and takes the fight to the flame.
Suddenly, Reed has an idea. He lures the tornado somewhere. We next rejoin Sue at the Salon where... as luck would have it, she was able to use her force-field to bust free of the cement tomb. This is actually a really cool use of her powers, which Byrne makes sure to mention she had been working really hard in mastering control over power-set.
Speaking of which, Sue then attempts to use her powers to propel herself out of harms way. She compares this to the way Ice (hyphen) Man uses his ice (hyphen) slides! Realizing the Monster she's fighting is earthen in makeup, she immediately thinks that the Thing might give it a fairer fight.
Now, speaking of the Thing... he's still drowning in the bubble. He makes his way down the street until coming across Keith Hernandez's Sporting Goods shop. He figures that his best bet for survival would be if he were able to get his hands on some SCUBA gear... which, is actually pretty clever! Once inside, he collapses... but is SCUBA'd just in time. The Water Elemental then releases Benjy... and hops onto one of the employees of the shop!
Ben then returns the favor, shoving the SCUBA back into the blob to save the girl. The Elemental then tries to jump bodies again... only to find itself stuck by some invisible force!
It's Sue, and she's nimbly able to trap the Water Elemental in her force-field. Ben gazes behind her to see the Earth Elemental bounding up the street. Before we know it, it's Clobberin' Time!
While Ben get positively pounded by the Earth Elemental, Mr. Fantastic swoops in. He realizes they're not quite paired-off with their proper foes just yet. He asks Sue to trap the Air Elemental (who is still tangling with Reed's own elongated bod), and... release the Water Elemental! Sue isn't quite sure... but obliges nonetheless. Once the Water Elemental is free, Reed plunges some live wires into it... transmuting the drink into a gaseous state!
Reed shares his hypothesis with Ben, that in order to beat the Elementals... they're going to need to change their "states". And so, while Ben's being clobbered by the Earth, he himself is pounding his way deeper and deeper into the ground... until he reaches a sewer pipe. Ben busts through the pipe, which sends an explosion of water into the Earth Elemental... softening the beast until it becomes nothing more than liquid mud.
Reed then turns to Sue, and tells her that in order to end the Air Elemental, she's going to have to pressurize the force-field more than she's ever tried pressurizing anything before. It's a struggle, but she is ultimately able to do it... transmuting the air into a liquid. Interestingly, Ben brings up a rather sobering thought... isn't what they're doing right now, sorta-kinda tantamount to... murder? Reed's response is... get this... "Please be quiet."! Wow! Cold-blooded, Stretcho...
Now, we're three Elementals down... with only the Living Flame to go. Reed says... once again, get this... "The Torch is on his own!". Way to lead, Reed. Anyhoo, we shift up to the skies above the City, where Johnny and the Flame are fighting it out. It's here that, thankfully, Johnny has a pretty bright idea. He baits the Flame wayyy up high, then... bada-bing, bada-boom... hits the beastie with a Nova Burst!
This winds up sucking all of the oxygen out of the air for a mile around. The Living Flame was snuffed out into nothing. Unfortunately, Johnny himself couldn't hold onto most of his flame either... and so, he falls... falls... falls... falls... before splashing into the nasty East River.
We jump ahead twenty-minutes, where Reed has already deduced that the big bad this time out was Diablo. And somehow, he knows exactly where he's been holed up. Well, sorta... he's actually got a friend who can suss out even the most unsussable.
We wrap up with the Fantastic Four nabbing Diablo at his ramshackle apartment. Whatta revoltin' development! Anyhoo, we learn here that, in order to track the baddie down, Reed enlisted the aid of everybody's favorite Mystic ex Machina... Doctor Strange!
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Ya know, I (and plenty of people) have given John Byrne a lot of guff for his incessant need to bring heroes "back to basics"... which, if you noticed, is the title of this very issue. The first of his legendary run on this title. Usually when one (or I) think of "Byrne's Back to Basics", I'm thinking about some old, stodgy, outdated take on a character or concept... or, something so wildly out of left field that the "back to basics" descriptor seems misplaced.
We've seen what Byrne's done with Spider-Man: Chapter One, the fourth volume of Doom Patrol... even his very short stint on the early 90's X-Men books. He attempts to take things "back" in a way that sort of tramples on everything he didn't like that came before. Asamattafact, on the next episode of From Claremont to Claremont: An X-Men Podcast (out tomorrow!), we discuss a Byrne interview where he reveals his intention to have a second Mutant Massacre to wipe out 85% of the mutant characters he didn't have any use for!
On the other hand, I think about things like his take on the Incredible Hulk, where his "back to basics" was marrying the lead character off! Which... ya know, doesn't feel "basic" at all.
Anyhoo... I'm taking the scenic route here... but, what I'm ultimately trying to say is... this issue was "Back to Basics" done right. I'll be honest here, with few exceptions, I don't have much use for the FF that came before Byrne. This is sort of where I'd start my FF rereads back when I still had the time to read comics "for fun"... and every time out (including today), I'm surprised by what a perfect jumping-on point Byrne gives us here.
So often, when we are told that "such-n-such" issue is the "Perfect Jumping-On Point", so much of the issue is poo-pooing or contradicting what came before, picking and choosing what would continue into the new run... which doesn't do much in the way of service for a potential new-reader. This issue, though? You didn't need to know all that much going in. Byrne concocted a story here, which provided ample opportunity for the characters to "show their stuff". We get to see their powers, and their many unique uses. We get bits and pieces of characterization... we see how they interact with one another... we see how they interact with the greater Marvel Universe. What I'm trying to say here is... this was very likely the best possible way to kick off a brand-new direction. Just all-around excellent.
Let's chat a bit about depth. One of the scenes that always "gets" me when I revisit this issue is Ben's attempt to process what they're doing to the Elementals. He wonders aloud if what they're actually doing could be comparable to murder... and, ya know... that's a toughie! Sure, they're alchemical concoctions... but, they seem to have the ability to communicate... think... they certainly have a purpose. Is Ben all that far off his nut here? Interesting food for thought. I thought Reed's reply of, basically "shut up, Ben" was pretty cold... and definitely didn't make me like him all that much.
Let's talk art. Ah, the art, well damn... it's Byrne in his prime. I've often said, if you took the concept of "comic book artist" and boiled it down to its chemical and component parts... you'd get John Byrne. This is the John Byrne I'm talking about when I say that. This is clean, dynamic, easy to follow... just an absolute treat! It's visual candy.
Overall... duh, I loved this. This is one'a those runs that holds a special place in many'a comics enthusiast's heart... myself included. If you haven't read any Byrne FF, I'd say you owe it to yourself to do so. This is where I'd usually link to the digital availability of the issue, but ya boy doesn't know diddly and/or squat about Marvel Unlimited. If I were a betting man, I'd say this has almost gotta be in there. If you're, like me, more into the physical media... this has been reprinted a number of times (I'm almost sure this would be one of Marvel's "dollar reprints" or replica books, no? Sorry, I'm not much help here, haha)... and heck, the original shouldn't break the bank either.
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