X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Ten (1987)

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter 10 (1987)
"Tag, Sucker!"
Writer - Chris Claremont
Art - John Bolton
Letters - Tom Orzechowski
Colors - Glynis Oliver
Edits - Kavanagh, Nocenti, Shooter
From: Classic X-Men #10 (June, 1987)

Our story opens with Wolverine acclimating himself to life in and around New York City... and since this is the less PG-NYC of the long ago, it's full'a all sorta smut -- and Claremontian Captions waxing on about said smut. Our man goes to light up a smoke... however, before the match can do its thang, the cig is swiped right out from between his lips! Our hero is shocked... as even his hyper-keen senses (which he's always bragging about) didn't give him any warning. This act of cigarette-stealin' is just the opening gambit in a playful... and eventually bloody, little game of tag between Wolverine and... well, you know. Worth noting, Wolvie is stood outside a movie theatre which is advertising Marada the She-Wolf, which is a 1985 novel written by Claremont with illustrations by Bolton!

Wolverine feels eyes... and a smile. I guess those world-famous senses are finally kicking in. He busts through a crowd of New Yorkers, worrying that his pursuer could be any one of them. Ya see, there are so many folks here that he's having trouble "zeroing in" on who might just be out to get him. Our man runs through traffic, and acrobats himself up to a fire escape. On the way up, he informs us that he was once a secret agent -- working in Siberia and the West Pacific. I don't think this is completely "new" information at this point, but, retcononically -- it might be his first time mentioning it. At least to this point. I think. Oh, Chris just stop worrying about it and move on...

Out of (immediate) harm's way, Wolverine finds himself at the West Side Saloon in Chelsea -- where he proceeds to complain-in-Claremontian about gentrification. He doesn't dig the fact that these seedy ol' joints are being rehabbed into places where folks actually might wanna be. Inside, he's given a brew by the barkeep... who seems to have some keen-senses of his own. He tells our hero that, if he's lookin' for trouble, he'd better take it outside.

From here, we get a pretty neat page of Wolverine taking in his surroundings... while also spending a lot of narrative captions saying very little. His eyes eventually wander over to the bar, where a... I don't know if she's supposed to be attractive or a trainwreck (it's a blurry line sometimes, innit?)... but, a woman is there, and she smiles at him. Our man doesn't seem to notice her smile... but, instead sees another -- disembodied, deadlier and dare I say sabre-toothed, smile from outside the window.

Wolverine rushes toward the door to try and track down the owner of this smile. He's so out-to-lunch, however, that he nearly knocks the grinning woman off her barstool! When he arrives outside the gin-joint, he sees... well, he sees nothing.

The grinning lady heads out to lambaste our man a bit for being less-than-classy. She then disappears around the corner -- where she is loudly murdered by... well, you know. The barkeep rushes out to see what's what -- and despite the fact that the only two people here are Wolverine and the dead woman (Francie) -- doesn't seem to think our fella done the deed? I thought he was already kinda wary of Wolvie being somewhat dangerous? Oh well...

Wolverine leaves the scene of the crime, fearing that the next death at the hands of... well, you know... will be him. He climbs down into the subway, and hops a ride on the side of a train, taking him to Battery Park -- for some reason. There, he changes into his Yellow and Blue Wolverine togs -- and pops his claws. Worth noting, he says that his (razor-sharp and unbreakable) Adamantium claws were "bionically implanted" into his forearms... which, at the time, was as good a guess as any!

From here -- we head right into our ending. Wolverine is grabbed from behind and has his throat ripped out! He's then tossed into the drink, while his (still unseen, but obvious) attacker informs him that he's "always been a disappointment". Later, Wolverine pulls himself out and onto the Staten Island Ferry... informs us all that he's got, ya know, a healing power that saved him. And finally, let's the sabre-toothed cat outta the bag about who he just engaged in this deadly game of tag with! He worries that he'll never be able to stand toe-to-toe against his foe.

--

If you're familiar with X-Lapsed, you'll know that -- if nothing else, I tend to repeat myself a lot. In fact, one of the things I repeat most often is that very fact. Another thing you may know is that, I usually enjoy Wolverine stories... but, dread actually having to talk about them -- because, they usually don't lend themselves to the sort of "biting" analysis I like to do.

This story here is... very much like that. I enjoyed it -- I mean, what's not to dig about a fun Wolvie romp, right? That said, however -- what in the world can I possibly say about it. Not much. It's Wolverine doing Wolverine things... facing off with and coming up short against his arch-enemy. It's good -- and perhaps back in ye old 1987, a very novel story to tell -- but, in "current year", with countless similar Wolverine stories out there, there just isn't much to talk about!

So, instead -- howsabout we jump into the ever-nebulous "weeds"?

Knowing what we know now, Wolverine and Sabretooth have quite the tangled history, yes? As of the publication of Classic X-Men #10 back in 1987, that history hadn't been fully fleshed out. This issue hit the same month as Uncanny X-Men #218. Wolverine and Sabretooth's first actual run-in (barring retcons) was Uncanny #212... or Power Pack #27, if we wanna look like know-it-alls (Wolverine and Sabretooth DO share the cover... but do NOT cross paths in the ish). In either event, their "shared history" at this point is... ya know, brief.

What we know now, however, is that their history goes back for... ever. It also includes these "games of tag" every so often -- and, an annual visit from Sabretooth on Wolverine's birthday -- where be beats him to within an inch of his life, pretty much just to show off that he can. We don't find out that today is Wolverine's birthday... but, hey -- we're in the weeds, right?

Another interesting wrinkle to me in this story... which might just be a case of me pretending that I know "how the sausage is made", is the fact that -- when Sabretooth plopped Wolverine into the drink, he said that he's always been a disappointment. Well, seasoned X-Fans might remember Claremont's flirtation with the idea that Sabretooth was Wolverine's father (and even made it canon in X-Men Forever, if I'm not mistaken). I've got a few magazines where CC talks about that -- and [around 30 minutes later] naturally, they're all currently at the old house.

It ain't like I'm blowing any minds or anything though, and information about Wolverine's proposed parentage isn't too terribly difficult to track down if you're interested. But, all that to say, I found Sabretooth's dialogue here to be very much in the vein of a "disappointed father". So, I wonder if Claremont already had that in mind as a possibility at this point?

To talk a little about the story itself -- it's probably best not to think too hard about it, ya know? There are bits here that feel extremely sloppy -- such as: Why would the barkeep just let Wolverine leave after finding Francie's bleedin' corpse? Were the police called? Is Wolverine a wanted man? I dunno! On the other hand, I always appreciate Wolverine being portrayed as less than perfect. Seeing him get his butt handed to him by Sabretooth was refreshing, and spoke to the fact that he's still got a long way to go in training and mental focus. That's good stuff.

Like I said, gang -- I'm vampin' for word count here -- there ain't much to say about this story besides the fact that: a) it was good, and b) it was beautifully drawn. Overall, this one'll probably take ya less than five minutes to read... and I'd say it's well worth that time.

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Nine (1987)

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter 9 (1987)
"The Gift"
Writer - Chris Claremont
Art - John Bolton
Letters - Tom Orzechowski
Colors - Glynis Oliver
Edits - Kavanagh, Nocenti, Shooter
From: Classic X-Men #9 (May, 1987)

Well, it had to happen eventually -- while what we're about to discuss isn't a bad story (I say that a lot, don't I?), if we were to compare it to our other Vignette offerings to this point, I personally feel like it's a bit of a dud.

It's Nightcrawler-centric, and it occurs right after Christmas... you'd think I'd be a total sucker for a ditty like this. Well, maybe actually writing about it will change my tune a bit? Wouldn't be the first time!

--

This story is a continuation of X-Men #101 (which was the main feature in this issue of Classix), and it opens with the X-Men waiting around at the hospital waiting for news on Jean. In #101, Jean did the whole Phoenix "Rising from the ashes of Jamaica Bay" thing -- so, she's "alive"... only, she slipped into a coma pretty quick. As mentioned in the pre-ramble, Nightcrawler will be out point-of-view character this time out. He gazes out a window, and notes that the hospital hasn't yet bothered to take their Christmas Tree down... despite the fact that it's already the second week of January. Sounds like my house! After looking at both his reflection in the glass and dropping a full-blown Claremontian soliloquy, Kurt spots a young boy sitting on a bench by the Tree. He BAMFs down to investigate.

In the down-below, the young boy is frightened by a bird who'd made its home in the Christmas Tree, causing him to fall off the bench. This gets a belly-laugh out of our Fuzzy Elf. Kurt (using his Image Inducer, natch) greets the boy, asking what he's doing out here so late. The kid really ain't in any mood to talk -- he makes it quite clear that he's just here waiting, and doesn't wanna be bothered. Kurt, again, suggests that this fella get on home before anything bad happens. The kid ain't movin'... which leaves our hero with a bit of a dilemma -- does he BAMF out and not worry about him, or... does he stick by this boy's side, just in case.

Before Nightcrawler can decide, they are both approached by a security guard who informs them that they're both trespassing. In fact, he wonders how either of them managed to get into the courtyard at all, considering the gates have been locked all night. Well, we know how Kurt got in... but, what about the boy? I guess this rent-a-cop's never heard of kids climbing fences, eh?

Anyway, the guard tells them to skadoo before he calls the actual police. Before we move on though, I just wantcha to deposit the fact that the guard addressed Nightcrawler and the boy into your memory banks. Okay, with that said -- Kurt and the lad head into the hospital cafeteria for a bite. Our man introduces himself, and shares that he has a very dear friend in intensive care at present. Hmm. Ya know, I don't wanna be "that guy", but, have Kurt and Jean even had a conversation at this point? I mean, she left the school shortly after the Krakoa ordeal. I dunno, I can't speak for Kurt's heart, maybe they are "dear friends" -- it probably definitely doesn't matter. Kurt says that his "dear friend" is lucky because she gets to be asleep while everybody else worries. I "get" that, but -- still kind of a dick thing to say, no? Oh well, the boy returns the favor, introducing himself as Daniel Cameron... and kinda calls Kurt out on his stupid line when he alludes to the fact that he is a cancer survivor... or, rather just that he had cancer.

With the noshin' done, Kurt informs Daniel that he'll be escorting him home. Daniel doesn't care one way or another. When their hunt for a cab proves futile, they decide to hoof it. Kurt attempts to reach the boy over and over -- which is about as futile as, well, finding a cab at 2am. Finally, our man takes a page out of his circus days, and walks on his hands for a bit. This actually manages to break through and get Danny's attention.

The boy begins to get a bit cocky at this point... proclaiming that he's bored of the city scenery, he runs into Central Park. Central Park... in the middle of the night... back in the 70s/80s? Yeah, not a great idea, kid! Daniel gives our man a "Catch me if you can", and is rendered quite shocked when Kurt BAMFs in ahead of him. He doesn't actually SEE the BAMFing, just that his new adult pal has beaten him into the Park.

From here, we get, what feels like a dozen pages of Kurt teaching Daniel how to juggle. Like for real, this scene -- while actually quite brief -- feels like it lasts forever and a day. Before the Sun comes up, our man is able to get the boy to successfully bobble the balls. Minds out of the gutter, please.

The night out wraps up back at Daniel's stoop. Here, Kurt feels as though he ought to share his true self with the boy. Again, minds out of the gutter. He shuts down the Image Inducer, revealing his Fuzzy Elf form. As we found out a few chapters back, people don't seem to mind it when a smiling demon is standing in front of them -- better a demon than a steel-skinned Russian, anyway -- so, Daniel accepts Kurt's true form. They embrace promising to see each other back at the hospital the following day.

Which takes us to the hospital... and the following day. Kurt finds a nurse to inquire as to where he might find Daniel Cameron. To which, we get our Twilight Zone twist -- the nurse points to the blanket-covered corpse she's wheeling out of a room, and informs our hero that this is Daniel Cameron... and he died the night before! Kurt can't believe it -- and tries to wrap his mind around exactly what it was that he x-perienced the night before. We wrap up with Nightcrawler back outside by the Christmas Tree, where he juggles-in-Claremontian for his ethereal pal.

--

So yeah, like I said above -- this isn't a bad story, and it's actually quite touching. That said, and like I said above (again), it kinda felt like a dud to me. Sure, there's plenty to like -- I mean, it's more X-Men after all... from a time before the entire line was bloated and overexposed to the point of parody -- so, there's that. The art, as we've become accustom, is gorgeous. There's a Christmas feeling in the air, which I'm always a sucker for -- but, still -- I'm kinda just sittin' here with a furrowed brow and an embarrassingly constipated look on my mug.

Nightcrawler helping a ghost boy to pass on to the other side -- which that same ghost boy helps him cope with the plight of his comatose "dear friend", Jean... is an okay story to tell. Perhaps it's only in comparing it with the other Vignettes we've looked at that it comes across as being somewhat "less than"? I mean, not every story we've covered (or will cover) is going to be "essential", but -- even then, this one just fell flat. At least for me.

Now, what's my sticking point here? I'm honestly not sure. Is it the "we all saw it coming from a mile away" Twilight Zone twist? Is it how that the rent-a-cop actually seemed to see the ghost boy? Is it the fact that this story could've basically been told using any character in the Marvel Universe as our P.O.V. (minus the juggling, of course)? I dunno. All's I do know is -- it was a bit of chore to both read and write about.

Part of me wonders/hopes that it'll eventually be revealed that Daniel Cameron would eventually manifest mutant powers -- and now, as part of the (current-year) Scarlet Witch's Resurrection Protocol "waiting room", maybe he'll be brought back (a la Northstar's adopted daughter)! If so, y'all better get this ish slabbed with the quickness~! Maybe this little ditty'll be reprinted as a back up in an upcoming issue of Legion of X? If so, ya hoid it here first!

Boy was that a stupid and unnecessary paragraph. Apologies -- this is just what happens when I'm vamping for word count and have very little to say about a given topic! This is probably a sign that I should just wrap it up... so, I will!

Next time out: Wolverine and Sabretooth play a deadly game of tag. Be there!

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Eight (1987)

 

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter 8 (1987)
"Phoenix"
Writer - Chris Claremont
Art - John Bolton
Letters - Tom Orzechowski
Colors - Glynis Oliver
Edits - Kavanagh, Nocenti, Shooter
From: Classic X-Men #8 (April, 1987)

Y'all ready for this?

Today we've got a pretty important little ditty... but, one that I... I dunno, I don't wanna say I have a "problem" with it, because I don't think I do -- but, hmm...

By now, you all (probably) know me, my tics, my weird hyper-focus on things that I shouldn't be worrying about. I chew the scenery, malaise over "how the sausage is made", I'm altogether a bit too serious and unpleasant for my own good.

That said, we're about to discuss a story that was retconned into canon back in Fantastic Four #286 (January, 1986) as part of the lead-in to the launch of X-Factor. This is, of course the Busiek "cocoon" retcon, to sidestep the Shooter edict that Jean couldn't be allowed to -- well, you know -- we'll not get too deep into the weeds, because I'm certain we'll be chatting about this plenty (perhaps even too much) when The Essentials gets to this point.

Anyway, the story we're about to look at is a more fully-fleshed out take on a flashback/memory scene from FF #286 (I'll include a few pics in the "down below"), and ya know - I paid special attention to the "Frontispiece" for this ish. Frontispiece, by the way, is probably the most cringingly pretentious word for "table of contents" I'd ever seen. Anyway, I peeped it to see if there was any "Special Thanks..." to Kurt Busiek, or John Byrne (who wrote the FF story) -- but, nope! Not sure that matters in the slightest... but, it certainly elicited a li'l chuckle outta me. Then again, Byrne didn't even put his name on that FF ish -- instead, it was credited to "You Know Who". Comic pros can be so precious, eh?

Anyhoo, that's more than enough pre-ramble... let's get into it!

--

We pick up right where X-Men #100 (August, 1976) left off -- the New X-Men fought (robot dupes of) the Old X-Men. The X-Men are warned by Peter Corbeau that they gotta evac the space station, because a big ol' solar flare is about to hit. In order to get home, one of our heroes has to sacrifice themselves and remain on the bridge of their ship so they can pilot the thing. Jean Grey is that hero. Our story actually opens with a bit of a retelling of the final pages of X-Men #100 -- Nightcrawler and Colossus are holding Cyclops back -- trying to talk some reason into him. Scott, as you might imagine, isn't at all keen on the love of his life dying. Meanwhile, Jean is all by her lonesome on the bridge -- trying to a) pilot the rig, and b) lighten her own mood by filling up most of the panel with thought balloons!

The shuttle then passes through the solar flare (which, in that issue of Fantastic Four, is compared to the Cosmic Bombardment that gave them their powers -- the FF got to watch this scene play out via a "memory orb", or something like that). Jean attempts to keep her psi-shield up to protect her... but, it isn't to be. She's struck by the flare, shouts Scott's name... and begins to die.

She fades pretty quickly... though, she's still got enough wits about her to speak in full-on Claremontian for the next several pages. Her cellular bonds dissolve, her hair falls out, she looks like barely a husk of her pre-flared self. But then... a light. A brilliant light. Jean assumes this is an hallucination as it vanishes just as soon as it appears.

Only, it doesn't. Jean is left completely unaware of her physical surroundings -- everything turns white. She's floating in nothingness... or at the very least, feels as though she is. Then -- a nebulous humanoid form presents itself. This new friend claims that it'd known Jean Grey from the moment of her conception -- it heard her cries for help, and has chosen to answer them. This isn't quite the way the scene played out in FF #286. There (seen below), Jean's body didn't degrade -- and it seemed as though Jean had more of a choice in the matter.

This figure then makes our gal an offer. Well, first, some parlor tricks to screw with her emotions... but, then there'll be an offer. The Phoenix Force (I assume I can eschew the faux-shadiness over the identity of this cosmic critter, yes?) shows Jean an image of Scott. Jean doesn't understand how this weird visitor would know any of her innermost thoughts. Though, I mean, Jean did spend many years living in the home of a mental-pervert, so this shouldn't be too surprising. Maybe it's all in the context, eh?

The Phoenix Force reminds Jean that she is human... flesh and bone and all that. Whereas, he/she/it is "of Creation". The PF then begins to take on the shape of Jean herself. Our gal is just barely holding on... and is growing as frustrated as she is panicky. She demands to know what this visitor wants of her. The Force, calmly reminds her that -- all it did was answer the call. Jean asked for help... and so, the Phoenix is here. It asks Jean to name her "heart's desire".

Jean is... ya know, a bit distrusting of this entire encounter -- and, hindsight tells us, this is with good reason. Jean pretty much expects there to be a "shoe drop" -- and, ya know -- credit to the Phoenix, it doesn't lie. It basically gives Jean a play on the Million Dollar Man's tagline when it assures her that "everything's got a price". It also doesn't really make its offer all that clear. It seems to me, that Jean believes she's going to be given the powers of the Phoenix here -- rather than being jammed into a cocoon and then replaced by the thing.

Jean talks about "dancing with the devil", which - fair play to Claremont, is a line from the Byrne FF ish, though it's definitely not a 1:1 quotation. She takes the Phoenix's hand... as, there isn't anything she wouldn't do to save the X-Men. The Phoenix, at this point, basically is Jean -- at least in shape and form. It loads our gal into the cocoon, while engaging in a Claremontian cocooning ritual. This performance includes filling most of the panel-space with word balloons, speaking in a purple prose, and finally -- striking a pose. Do NOT try this at home, friends.

We close out with the Phoenix's grand debut in its Jean Grey form as the shuttle barrels ever closer to Jamaica Bay!

--

So, there we have it - the telling of Jean Grey's first encounter with The Phoenix Force.

A nice little story, that works quite well in facilitating (or, "aiding and abetting") the Busiek retcon. Now, again -- we're going to avoid getting too deep into the Phoenix lore, because -- trust me, that's comin' -- suffice it to say, regardless of which side of the "Jean's dead" argument you fall on, we can all at least admire the effort that went into assuaging her of the asparagus-genocide -- and making her "usable" again during the Shooter Era.

But again, we'll go way too deep into that territory when the time comes. Jean-as-Phoenix has been talked to absolute death -- it's basically the "Montreal Screwjob" of X-Men comics. The last thing anybody needs is for me to wax on about it in full more than once.

Instead, I wanna talk a little bit about the -- don't wanna call it a "problem" -- with this story existing here. This is probably the stupidest complaint a fake-ass comics historian can make... but, I feel like adding this back-up to this issue... kinda takes the "oomph" out of the entire thing. Not only does this story lose its gravity (pun possibly intended), but the entire Phoenix Saga, including Dark Phoenix feels a lot less "for keeps". Does that make sense? Probably not.

When I look back on reprint series' from back in the day -- the pre-internet day -- I view them as, primarily, a way in which folks who missed out on the stories the first time can experience them without breaking the bank. Of course, the way in which Marvel added value to Classix is awesome, and admirable to say the very least -- but, at least as it pertains to this back-up... I feel like we're robbing first-timers of the "truest" x-perience. Again, does that make sense?

Let's break this down a bit. This issue of Classix reprints X-Men #100 (August, 1976) -- the Jean/Phoenix story first appeared (in our timeline) in Fantastic Four #286 (January, 1986). That's a decade's worth of stories that have been swept up in this retcon -- and, I wanna make it clear that I have NO problem with the retcon -- but, if I were a "first-time reader" back in '86 -- I know this reveal would definitely affect the way in which I x-perienced some of the more seminal X-Stories to follow! I mean, lemme put it another way -- if you were to read the entirety of Classic X-Men/X-Men Classic, you would get to the reprint of Uncanny X-Men #206 -- which had a June, 1986 cover-date -- meaning damn near the entire run of Classix features a "dead" Jean Grey.

Again, maybe I'm a bit "in the weeds" and worrying about stupid stuff -- but, printing this story... this early... I dunno, it just feels as though it robs the potential new reader of some great reading -- or, at least changes the way in which they might receive future stories.

Now, I do wanna make one thing clear. This is a really good little story. Bolton's art here is pretty terrific -- his dying Jean is beautifully grotesque... if that makes any sense. Claremont... may have taken one too many Claremont pills the morning he wrote this, as... boy howdy, there's more words in this eight-pager than a current-year five-issue Marvel trade paperback -- but, it was still really good.

Part of me wonders if the x-cessive wordiness was to Chris trying to "shout louder" than John Byrne -- but, again -- it's Claremont, who's never really needed a reason to obscure as much art as possible with flowery verbiage. Speaking of Byrne -- here's three pages from FF #286, where we can see Jean's original-original first run-in with The Phoenix Force. I'm still not 100% clear on Wordpress... but, I gotta assume you can click'a da pics to make 'em bigger? If that ain't the case, please lemme know!

Overall -- despite my concerns over how this story might affect a new reader's enjoyment and x-perience with the Bronze Age and Beyond X-Men... it's still a good story. One that I feel everyone should read -- it's just a matter of when it would be most advantageous to do so.

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Seven (1987)

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter 7 (1987)
"Out with the Old"
Writer - Chris Claremont
Art - John Bolton
Letters - Tom Orzechowski
Colors - Glynis Oliver
Edits - Kavanagh, Nocenti, Shooter
From: Classic X-Men #7 (March, 1987)

Here it is, gang -- the Vignette that launched one idiot's into a mission and levels of completionism he didn't even realize he had!

As I mentioned, maybe in the very first installment of our Vignettes dive, Classic X-Men/X-Men Classic was always a series I'd skipped when I happened across 'em in the wild. Looking back now, I can't even begin to wrap my mind around why I had no interest in 'em -- but, it's true! As a completionist and self-proclaimed fake-ass comics/X-Men historian, you'd think these added bits of lore would be right up my alley! But, alas -- no! I grabbed the... wuzzit two (?) Vignettes Trade Collections, but never prioritized the individual issues.

That was... before The Hellfire Gala. Now, if you've listened to the twelve episodes of X-Lapsed dedicated to the "crossovent", you'll know that I found it to be -- um, uneven? A little too "twitter-baity" with the gaudy "Jumbo Carnation Abominations", with only a few chapters worth even glancing at. But -- it was the first part of the Gala, Marauders #21 (August, 2021), which included the very story we're going to be discussing today, as a back-up. For whatever reason, this caused a switch to flip in my primitive completionist mind. I saw these added bits of lore as being more "essential" and worth familiarizing myself with.

Sure, I've read a bunch of em thru various means -- but, as I said -- it wasn't a priority. Post-Hellfire Gala, however, my opinion has changed, and my mission ever since has been to grab each and every issue of Classix I happen across. So far, that mission is becoming closer and closer to wrapping up by the week! I think, at last count, I need something like 28 issues? It's worth noting, however, that only the first sixty-something of Classix includes a back-up -- and, I think, of those, I only need a slight handful. It wasn't until the second half of the run that Marvel seemed to forget they were even publishing the thing.

Anyway -- I say all of that, so I might say this: If you're enjoying the Vignettes feature here at the humble blog, you have this story to thank. If you hate it, well... you have this story to blame!

Let's Gala!

--

We open, and it's somewhere between Christmas and New Years... and it's time for the annual Hellfire Gala -- even thought the bloated and wildly uneven 2021 event claimed to be the very first (then again, it also included a reprint of this story... so, who the hell(fire) knows?)! We see Sebastian Shaw and... the woman we have to blame for this entire x-ercise: Lourdes Chantal, as they dance in the foreground. In the background, we see the White King and Queen of the Club sat upon some ornate-looking chairs. This White Queen, by the way, is not Emma Frost. Don'tcha worry none, she'll show up soon enough! As they dance, Lourdes suggests to Shaw that he'd be quite foolish to trust this White King. The White King and President of the Hellfire Club, by the way, is Edward "Ned" Buckman. He's a human, and openly not a fan of mutants... he is, to be completely frank, kind of a prick. Lourdes, in case you've never read this Vignette and/or you're not following the "current year" stuff, is a mutant.

Sebastian, being the weaselly so-and-so he is, heads over to pay his respects to the White Royalty. During the chat, Buckman posits that he thinks Shaw's got the makings for a fine Black King... a suggestion which rather moves our dear Sebastian. The White Royalty breaks away for a dance of their own. Lourdes approaches Shaw again to express the uneasy vibe she gets from the Whites. She wonders why they view the X-Men as enemies, when all they want to do is protect all mutants -- meanwhile, the a-hole they're attempting to chum up with would just as soon see them all plopped in unmarked shallow graves. And, well... lady's got a point, don't she? From here, she wanders over to Tessa... who we now know as Sage, and together they observe the behavior of Nedward.

Shaw heads out to the terrace to psychically chat up Emma Frost. He tells her how Lourdes is a bit troubled by the White King... which, doesn't surprise Emma in the slightest. He then asks about their "guest", which facilitates a scene shift over to a compound in East Hampton where Frost is keeping a comatose Colonel Michael Rossi. Rossi was last seen (linearly) in X-Men #96 (December, 1975), and he's been in a kayoed state ever since his plane was shot down during that ish. Rossi had met with Steven Lang about Project Armageddon -- during which, he'd discovered the true purpose of the Project, which was to -- doy, eradicate mutants. But, that's not all folks - Emma was also able to glean that Rossi found out that Nedward Whiteprick is mixed up in it as well! This rightly ticks off our man, Sebastian.

Just then -- a Sentinel!

Back to the Gala. Shaw demands that Lourdes use her teleportation powers to send he, Tessa, and herself to Emma's pad. She's not sure she's powerful enough to pull off such a feat -- and so, our hero motivates her, by -- ya know, wrapping his hand around her throat! And so, she does the thing, biggity bam -- our Hellfire Heroes are Hampton bound. They are greeted by our old friend, Harry Leland, who is tickled pink by the sight of them!

The Sentinel ensnares Shaw in a coil -- but, Lourdes is quick to rush to his side, and she teleports him safely out of the rigging. However, when she returns to her tangible form, the Sentinel harpoons her right thru her back -- killing her. Or, well... if you're following the current year books -- we may as well wrap some quotation marks around the word killing.

Harry Leland then uses his powers of mass manipulation to cause the Sentinel to go crashing through the floor. You might be asking yourself "Self, why in the hell didn't Leland do that in the first place?", to which I'd respond -- "huh... good question!". From here, Shaw proceeds to punch the hell out of the big bot until it ceases operation.

Once the dust settles, Shaw heads over to Lourdes -- who lay dying. Before she perishes, she asks Sebastian why it is that Buckman hates them. She gives her a kiss, telling her that Nedward hates them out of fear -- and, hey, ya know what -- it's high time they justified ol' Ned's fears.

And so, they head back to the Hellfire Gala -- though, without Lourdes alive to teleport them, I'm guessing they had a pretty long drive down the L.I.E. By now, it's midnight, and Buckman is there to welcome both the elites and the henchman grunts of the Hellfire Club. He then takes one of the Hellfire Hench's pistols, and shoots them all to death!

He then shoots his White Queen (not Emma). Immediately after this, he appears to be released from whatever trance he was just in. He asks himself what he'd just done. At this point, Shaw and Frost approach to tell him that they done effed with his mind and caused him to kill his allies and lover. Shaw then takes Buckman's pistol and crushes it in his hand, before hoisting the big bad up by his throat... annnnnd, snapping his neck.

We close out with Shaw vowing that Mutants will rule the Hellfire Club forevermore... and, eventually, they will rule the world!

--

There ya have it! The story that launched a stupid little project on a stupid little blog!

And, it's a pretty good one, innit? I definitely dug this little ditty -- though, I mean -- with hindsight, it's kind of a deep-cut to add to the "current-year" landscape. That said, this isn't a discussion about the current-year -- so, I probably shouldn't compla-- err, make observations about recent months-stuffs.

Instead, let's just go back to ye old 1987.

One thing I hadn't considered about this story when I covered it on X-Lapsed was... that at this point in the run (Classic X-Men #7 reprinted X-Men #99), the Hellfire Club was still thirty issues away from making their first appearance! The Club first appeared in X-Men #129 (January, 1980). This is kinda surprising to me, as part of me wonders what any potentially new readers (because back then such a thing did exist) to the X-Men thought upon reading this ish. Seeing these hoi-polloi types who they'd never seen before having their Gala. Characters they wouldn't see again for at least a little while. It's pretty crazy, innit?

And, as we've said a few times already throughout this project -- these lore-bits add so much to the world, without really contradicting anything. We see some pre-#129 Hellfire stuff here -- which, since they were a Claremont (co-)creation, doesn't feel forced or "wrong". What's perhaps one of the more subtle interesting beats of this story is the fact that, while the X-Men don't (appear to) know the Hellfire Club, the Club definitely has our mutant heroes on their radar.

Like I've said (probably too many times so far), it's been a long time since I've read the Classix Backups... and, my reading of them in the first place is spotty at best. So, I'm very interested to see what other sort of premonetconition -- that there's my awful (so awful it should be illegal) attempt at portmanteau-ing "premonition" and "retcon", by the way. Getting these flavor bits... and engraining characters and concepts that are yet to appear in the fore-story, is a really cool way to x-perience this era. If you're a first-time reader (without any conteXt), you're getting breadcrumbs that will eventually pay off -- if you're a tenured X-Fan, you're getting a look at some previously unknown bits that were occurring right under our noses... but, just out of sight!

I'm having a good time with this... and I humbly hope you're enjoying it too!

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Six (1987)

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter 6 (1987)
"A Love Story"
Writer - Chris Claremont
Art - John Bolton
Letters - Tom Orzechowski
Colors - Glynis Oliver
Edits - Kavanagh, Nocenti, Shooter
From: Classic X-Men #6 (February, 1987)

Deja vu all over again!

When I sat down to read today's little ditty, it actually took me a few pages to realize what I was looking at had... no words. I mean, once I did realize it... I realized it -- but, it was so well-crafted that it didn't matter. Compare this with that other silent story we recently discussed, and well -- nah, let's just forget that one ever happened at all, eh?

Worth noting that this back-up appears in the same issue of Classix where X-Men #98 (April, 1976) is reprinted. This is the "Merry Christmas X-Men -- the Sentinels Have Returned" story, which I'd covered back in 2020 as part of Merry X-Lapsed Year One. If you recall (or are just familiar with the ish yourself), the X-Men were hanging out in New York City during Christmastime... and were attacked by Sentinels -- some of our heroes were even dragged into space! One in particular might just be returning to Earth via a dip into Jamaica Bay. So, yeah -- there's our set-up... even though this backup appears to occur earlier that evening, it's chock full of... hmm, can we call it foreshadowing when it's as blatant as this? We'll get there -- and, when we do, you can be the judge!

Anyway... I don't think this'll be a long one (famous last words), so let's get to it!

--

Our story opens in the afternoon of the day where the X-Men got all merry at Rockefeller Center. Jean's headed back to her apartment with some shopping bags to prepare for her big date/outing later on that evening. Once inside, she... uhh, visits the Wikipedia page for mutants? This was the point in which I realized we were getting a more gimmicky story this time out. We see casual definitions for Mutant, Telekinesis, and Telepathy... on the inside of the refrigerator or pantry door? I think? I dunno...

From here, we follow Jean in for a bath... where she spends a half-hour soaking. The grandfather clock starts BONGin' at 6:30pm... which, I don't think I've ever seen one do that when not "on the hour". Oh well. From here, Jean spies a framed photo of she and her roomie, Misty Knight painting a wall of their ridiculously gargantuan apartment. Under the pic is a note from Misty, basically telling Jean to "get some" tonight.

Our gal then heads over to her nightstand to confirm that she does... maybe... possibly... have dinner plans with one Scott Summers. She looks at another framed photo -- which is of Scott, and... is signed by Scott. Jean better get that sucker CGC slabbed and sold before Marvel decides the X-Men ain't worth anything anymore! Here's a question for y'all... have you EVER (outside of a yearbook situation) signed a photo of yourself for someone? Maybe I was born too late for this phenomenon? Anyway, we learn that today's date is December 21 (1975?)... which was a Sunday. Paloma Herrera, whoever that is, was born this day. The Number One Song in the United States was That's the Way (I Like it) by KC and the Sunshine Band... Number One in the UK was Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. Finally "Very Good Eddie" opened at the Booth Theater in New York City -- maybe Jean and Scott were planning on taking in a show before the Sentinels struck?! Okay, enough'a that...

Next, Jean shares a dance with her telekinetic Scott puppet -- which, I don't wanna say this is weird or nothin'... it's actually kind of sweet. But, yeah -- also a bit weird. Then again, as far as I know, I've never been a teen-age girl, so maybe this is completely normal behavior?

I promised some blatant foreshadowing, yes? Let's get to it. After wearing herself out making out with the invisible Scott, Jean heads back to her bedroom, where there is a poster for The Phoenix and the Carpet, a (1904) British children's novel by Edith Nesbit, with illustrations by H.R. Millar. This is the second of a trilogy of novels, wherein some kids accidentally burned up a carpet by playing with fireworks... and they're given a second-hand rug that just so happens to have a Phoenix egg rolled up on it? Okay. The Phoenix hatches, and offers them wishes. There was a BBC adaptation in 1997 -- which makes Jean's poster here seem even weirder. I'd assumed there'd already been a film... hence the poster. Anyway, Jean spies yet another framed photo... this one is of her family. She places it in a drawer, so they can't watch if she and Scott decide to get busy later on that night.

Our gal then spends some time trying to decide between a black dress and a white dress. She ultimately chooses the black one. Now, since this was written (assumedly) in 1986/87... might this be a reference to her eventual Black Queening? Maybe? Maybe not? Does it even matter?

Then, Scott arrives! Worth noting, there's some x-cellent attention to detail here. Scott's wearing the same coat that he'd be shown wearing in at Rockefeller Center.

Our man presents Jean with a rose... then they make out for a bit before leaving. Jean does grab her fur coat... which is the very same one she's seen wearing at Rockefeller in the original ish.

They leave... evening turns into night... and, CH-BOOM! we've got a big x-plosion! The window of Jean's bedroom shatters... and through the bits of broken glass we can see a flaming figure soaring. Now, in case what we're seeing isn't totally clear, the camera zooms up to Jean's The Phoenix and the Carpet poster... really zeroing in on the first half of the title.

--

Okay, not gonna lie -- this one took a whoooooole lot longer to write than I thought it would! Last night, when I "read" this one, it took... I dunno, two minutes? That's certainly no indictment on the quality of the writing and art -- because it's good stuff. It's just a brief, (largely) silent story. So yeah, read it in two minutes -- smirked in a satisfied way, figuring I could knock out a discussion post on it in like... fifteen minutes, and, well -- here I sit, two friggin' hours later, and I've still gotta compile my actual thoughts about the thing!

Now, before we get into it - I wanna mention something that was pointed out by Chris U. in the comments (I promise I'll get around to responding to the comments soon -- I'm a bit outta practice) - also, I'm beyond happy to see Chris U.'s comments again! What he mentioned was that, Claremont seems to be alternating between writing "value-added" beats to enrich (without contradicting) the earlier/original stories - and giving us some neat character-focused "flavor". This little ditty blends the two columns, falling somewhere in-between.

This is very much a story we can "place", right? It most certainly occurs right before X-Men #98 opens. It enriches the story (a bit), but doesn't muck about/confuse/contradict anything. If anything, it makes the story the Classix series is about to cover all the more tragic. It also felt like it built on the Storm/Jean back-up from a few issues ago, wherein we're getting this unique look at Jean's "new normal" - away from the Xavier School, living with Misty Knight. It's all very neat.

Now, as much as this adds to the overall lore of the era, it also serves as a wonderful little character bit. As mentioned, it gives Jean and her "new normal" some screen time, but we're also getting a feel for Jean's maturation. As she pointed out a few issues back, she's not a kid anymore. She's now an independent young woman, involved in a (relatively) healthy romantic relationship -- living (mostly) on her own. This story could serve as one'a those "first day of the rest of her life" sorta things.

Only... it's not. What Jean doesn't know... and couldn't possibly know, is -- this is basically the last day of her life. At least for awhile. We seasoned X-Fans know how this arc goes -- the X-Men go to space... there's the Jamaica Bay scene -- Jean bursts out of the drink as the Phoenix! Of course, originally -- this was meant to actually be Jean -- and there was no cocoon gimmick at play.

Post X-Factor/Busiek-retcon, we know that this wasn't Jean but the Phoenix entity itself. The Phoenix would go on to become Dark, barbecue some broccoli asparagus and, ya know - die. Now, we could talk at length about that whole mishigas, but we won't -- at least not yet. I mean, a) it's been talked to absolute death, and there's very little I can possibly add to it, and b) we'll undoubtedly get there when we get there.

What matters for this Vignette is, we're seeing some of Jean Grey's final moments (again, for now). And, ya know -- it didn't even dawn on me until sitting down to collect my thoughts on the story! Now, this is important (to me) for a couple of reasons. First, narratively speaking -- it's quite powerful. What we see here is a woman bursting with love, excited for her future -- all the while, we readers know what her future actually holds.

Second, focusing on the "sausage being made" aspects of this story... gotta hand it to Claremont for playing ball here. Again, we're not gonna go too deep on "the Phoenix mishigas" (yet), but -- Claremont's original plans for the Phoenix were quite different than what we saw play out on panel. The way in which he crafts this story -- kinda straddles the fence, in a good way. Lemme x-plain. Sure, we get the anvil-dropping Phoenix foreshadowing -- but, it doesn't actively "hurt" anything.

This story could work using Claremont's original plans... or the Jamaica Bay-cocoon retcon. I, personally, feel it's more tragic with the retcon, but it works both ways. Something I'd neglected to mention since starting this little dip into the Vignettes is the Shooter Effect. I've talked about my respect for Jim Shooter a whole bunch, both here and on the air. Among other things, I respect Jim's... respect for the characters he'd been tasked with stewarding and protecting. You know this fella was x-amining these "yester-tales" with a fine-toothed comb to ensure they properly "fit". That's just the kind of Editor-in-Chief Shooter seemed to be. He knew that the characters came first -- and, while nowadays - in the age of twitter-bait, fashionable faux-outrage, and superstar writers, that's almost a laughable statement to make -- it doesn't make it any less true.

It's almost a statistical impossibility that Classix was given these extra pages to add flavor to existing stories and characters at all -- especially when we consider how Claremont and Shooter bumped heads with regularity (at least as the stories go). That said, the fact that these stories x-ist in the first place, and perform at such a high-level really adds to my enjoyment in this endeavor.

Overall -- I mean, like I said -- this'll take ya under five minutes to read twice. The story it's telling and the gorgeous art it gives ya, is well worth your investment of time. Next time out, we'll be taking a look at the Vignette that kinda forced my hand in actively hunting and collecting the Classix!