X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Twenty-Two (1988)

X-Men Vignettes #22 (1988)
"Solace"
Writer - Chris Claremont
Art - John Bolton
Letters - Tom Orzechowski
Colors - Glynis Oliver
Edits - Kavanagh, Nocenti, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #22 (June, 1988)

Hey Gang -- I'm sitting here right now quite annoyed that I wasn't able to sleep in... and really, really wanting a cup of coffee. Got some bloodwork set up for today -- and the earliest appointment I was able to get was 9:45 am. I was hoping to somehow be able to sleep in until... I dunno, 9:35 or so, because it's gonna be hard not to eat anything for the next... jeez, four hours.

Well, at least we have the next Vignette to distract us, eh? Here's hoping it'll be a good one*!

*It's not gonna be...

--

We open, and we're still in the Savage Land. Our heroes appear to be getting quite comfortable with their prehistoric surroundings... Banshee's even lettin' it all hang out. Speaking of Sean, he lets out a bellow calling all of the X-Men (and Ka-Zar) to Storm's hut. Once they arrive, they find a note that she'd left -- she's gone off to be on her own for a bit -- but will be back before the X-Men return to actual civilization. Ka-Zar worries that she'll be in danger, but Claremont-via-Wolverine reminds the caveman that Storm ain't no ordinary woman... she's Storm. Okay, calm down. Where'd she get off to, you might be asking? Well, she's about to go swimming... while surrounded by some horrendously Claremontian captions.

She dives in, while reminding herself that she's got this personal vow about not killing... and finds herself attacked by a giant crocodile-lookin' Saurian. The beastie takes her unawares, and gets a bite in before she even realizes it. So, this is the second Storm-centric Vignette in a row, where something takes a bite out of her! Anyway, the croc zips past... at which point, Ororo realizes that it's got a passenger! A not-yet-dead woman in a strange scuba-ish suit has become tangled and bound to the thing via her harpoon line. Storm struggles to free her.

It all appears futile... until Storm remember that, even without her powers she's very dangerous^TM, and also how she somehow manages to keep dozens of knives on her person at once, it isn't long before she frees the woman. Storm then guides the croc to the surface, where she zaps it with a bolt of lightning. S'funny... I'd almost imagine Claremont wouldn't punish dinosaurs for... ya know, acting like dinosaurs. Last chapter, Colossus beat up the T-Rex and here, Storm is zapping the Croc. There's always that moral argument about whether or not Galactus is actually evil... or, ya know, just being Galactus. Figure a dino's gonna dino...

Anyway, from here the story becomes a lot less straightforward... and, if I'm being honest, a lot less readable. Storm passes out, dreams of her mother, a fire, a skeletal beast... and a rescue. At least this page is nice to look at -- because it isn't much fun to actually read. I think Chris Claremont was bitten by a radioactive Chris Claremont before writing this bit.

Storm wakes up... aboard an airship... in another world. Ya see, that lake in the Savage Land is some sort of dimensional gateway. She's greeted by M'Rin... and, ya know -- what's with all these apostrophized names for aliens? Can we stop that? Anyway, M'Rin is the scuba woman Storm had saved... and here, M'Rin has returned the favor.

On deck, Storm decides to take flight and, I guess take in the inky blackness that is this strange world? What she (and we) learn is that the airship isn't exactly an airship... just a regular one that just so happens to be strapped to the back of... Falcor from the Neverending Story? It's actually C'Jime... and it's quite pleased to be able to welcome the Wind-Rider to their world.

Storm learns that M'Rin is a "Warlord of the Skyways"... and so, she decides to... stay in this realm to play sky-pirate? Ya know, it's hard to believe this never came up during the time Storm was on the Marauders -- then again, it wasn't very often that (Marauders writer) Gerry Duggan remembered that Storm was even part of his cast. Anyway, Storm's here... doin' pirate stuff with M'Rin and Company.

All's well and good, until Storm feels as though she's beginning to change. There's something about this world that brings out a wildness in her that frightens her. She enters M'Rin's "apartment" to chat her up, and discovers a small statue on the table. The statue is of M'Rin and (assumedly) her daughter. Storm realizes that M'Rin is using her as something of a surrogate daughter -- and gently confronts her. I say gently, because Storm also realizes that she herself has been using M'Rni as a surrogate mother.

They talk -- we learn that M'Rin's daughter became the leader of some evil sky pirates... the very ones they'd been fighting against. Storm realizes that this cannot go on... and she must return home. It's a tearful goodbye. M'Rin gives storm a Cameo Crystal, which is bonded to her... and could, at any point, reunite them, should Storm wish it. We'll only see this thing (and M'Rin herself) one more time, during X-Men Annual #12 (1988), which is part of the Evolutionary Bore... err, War crossovent. And... that's that!

--

My God, but this was endless... and I didn't care for it one bit.

If you've listened to any X-Lapsed, it shouldn't come as much of a surprise that I'm not the biggest fan of the X-Men in "fantasy worlds"... nine times out of ten places like Otherworld make me wanna toss a book. This had a very similar effect on me. I don't know if it's just not something I can "relate" to -- or, if it's just not my genre. All's I know is, I don't like it -- and I didn't like this. This is what I refer to as "Chris Problems" on the show -- I can only hope the rest of you got more out of this than I did.

The only thing about this that I did appreciate, was how Claremont used this Vignette to introduce M'Rin and her World... which will be (briefly) revisited during this year's Evolutionary War Annual. I'm a fan of lore and "breadcrumb" storytelling -- so, I'm down with that. If only the story itself wasn't such a bore!

Don't really have all that much more to say -- I'm getting tired of the Storm-centric Vignettes... I think this is the third one so far, and none of them have been all that great. Hopefully we go a few days without another.

--

LETTERS PAGES:

Hey - we've got a letters page! Not sure if this is the first one to appear in Classix -- but, it's the first one I've noticed.

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Twenty-One (1988)

 

X-Men Vignettes #21 (1988)
"First Love"
Writer - Chris Claremont
Art - John Bolton
Letters - Tom Orzechowski
Colors - Glynis Oliver
Edits - Kavanagh, Nocenti, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #21 (May, 1988)

Before we get into today's Vignette, I just wanna address a little bit of housekeeping -- and express a bit of gratitude.

If you're following the site, you might already know that, after a few weeks away from the mic, I released Episode 326 of X-Lapsed yesterday (as of this writing). If you've followed my audio x-ploits for a little while, you'll likely know that I can sometimes get a little too honest on the air, perhaps to the point of oversharing. It's kind of my "brand" to be as transparent as possible -- I believe if someone/anyone out there decides to let me into their ears, then they deserve to get the "real" me.

I'm always sincere with my thoughts and opinions on silly things like comics (which is probably why I'm "persona au gratin" in the X-Men Community -- yes, I'm very cheesy)... but, I will also, from time to time, share pieces of myself. I used to refer to these sort of shows as "emotional shiatsu massages", because... well, they're painful -- they make me nauseous -- but, I feel a sense of lightness and, for lack of a better term "zen" when it's all said and done. This was very much one of "those" episodes.

I shared some things that are currently going on in my life... and how these little "visits", both written and audio -- are avenues for me to try and "escape". They are also one of the only things, at present, that I have the ability to (somewhat) control. It was probably a bit too self-indulgent and "precious"... but, I'm glad I did it.

Since releasing the episode, I gotta say -- I'm honestly overwhelmed with the kind and supportive words I've received. It shouldn't have been a surprise, knowing how wonderful the X-Lapsed/CoiIE "family" is... but, hey -- I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again: this content create-y life can be (and often is) very lonely. It's easy to lose yourself in it... it's easy to begin to believe that you're all alone, and that nobody cares.

It's nice to get that reminder every now and again that -- that isn't entirely the case. So, thank you everybody for the warm reception.

--

Our story opens... in the Savage Land. My second (or maybe third)-least-favorite locale in the X-Books! Worth noting, this issue of Classix reprints X-Men #115, which is part of a Savage Land story arc -- so, this Vignette is an "in between days" sort of deal. Our feature character is Colossus... and, it's even going to provide a callback to his last Vignette (in Chapter Five), but we'll get there. Anyway, we open with Piotr feeling homesick. He's not used to the clammy hot climate the Savage Land affords -- he can't even get his pencil to sketch on his damp and disgusting pad. He's so out to lunch over this that his eyes begin to play tricks on him. In the distance, he thinks he's seeing Illyana and... Anya. And that's Anya the bigoted ballerina from Chapter Five... not Anya, Magneto's daughter from Chapter Twelve.

He soon realizes that he's just seein' things. What he's actually looking at is a gaggle of mohawked (and thirsty) Savage Landers. He watches as they cross the plain, before attempting to put pencil to paper once again. The thinks back to his brief and weird relationship with Anya (again, the ballerina... not the girl who burned to death), and how she wouldn't accept him as he is -- which is to say, as a man made of metal. Just then, he's startled by a scream. He enters the jungle to investigate, and finds himself faced off with -- a Tyrannosaurus Rex! The beast has the three Savage Landers cornered.

Our man attempts to armor-up to fight off the dino -- but finds that he cannot! Piotr assumes the intense heat has really done a number on his concentration -- hindering his ability to change form. And so, he decides to try and distract the T-Rex by hurling a giant stone at it's snout. This is one'a dem "good news, bad news" situations -- as, it does take the dino's eyes off its original prize (for a brief moment), but it also swats our hero away with its tail. Pete recovers and takes to the trees in attempt to fastball special himself onto the terrible lizard's back. And, well -- he does just that. He "Tarzans" over from a giant tree... and proceeds to hack at the dino's eye with his primitive axe-gimmick. Unfortunately for him, however, he's a moment too late -- the T-Rex has already taken a big ol' bite out of a Savage Lander.

This "injury-to-the-eye" attack from Piotr both causes the CCA to second-guess putting their stamp on the cover of the ish... and sends the dinosaur reeling back. It falls into the drink, presumably to painfully and slowly drown. One of the mohawked women, Nereel, rushes over to our hero and embraces him. She thanks him for the save... but, informs him that one of their number would not survive. From here, we head back to camp -- where, that evening, they all sit around a... smoldering, uh... sorta problematic shape (?) in the ground. This is the funeral pyre for the fallen Shakani.

Later that night, after the ceremony ends, Piotr heads back to his lodging. There, he's met by Nereel and another Savage Lander who invite him to come along for the "last ceremony" -- which is to say, they're going to drag him away to the fields and... bang his brains out. On their way, they pass Wolverine, who is currently working on his needlepoint (seriously). Pete invites Logan along... which tells us he hasn't the foggiest idea what's about to be in store for him. Logan knowingly smiles, and passes on the offer.

So, it looks like our man's about to be menage-a-trois'ed, yes? Well... izzit too late to make that a foursome? Cuz, outta the fog rises a one-eyed T-Rex! Worth noting, naïve Pete isn't exactly receptive to the bang-a-thon. He even verbally "blushes". What's more - this isn't just a "getchure rocks off" sorta thing -- Nereel is hoping to celebrate her friend's sacrifice by... creating a new life here.

Anyway, back to it -- the dinosaur attacks, but this time Colossus is able to armor-up. As he does so, he flashes back to how Anya reacted to his mutanty-metally form, and fears that Nereel will have a similar reaction. Unfortunately for him, however, he isn't being presented with much of a choice. He armors up... and fights off the beast.

Colossus beats the bejeezus out of the T-Rex... and as the dust settles, he fears Nereel will run from him in FEAR AND HATE. He is surprised, however, when she does not. Instead she rushes to him... she still loves him, and in fact, our Claremontian caption is there to inform us that this is the first time Piotr Rasputin has discovered love. We close out with Pete gettin' gang-banged... and unwittingly conceiving a child.

--

Well, suddenly that Colossus-Anya chapter makes a bit more sense, eh?

When we first looked at that chapter, I didn't see it as being anything all that noteworthy -- just another FEAR AND HATE story to show how marginalized our heroes can be. Nothing we hadn't seen before or since... and really, at the end of the day, just page-filler. A fine story... a beautifully drawn story... but, ya know, just a story.

After revisiting this chapter, however, Piotr's "arc" makes a bit more sense. As I'm wont to say, it's been literally a lifetime since I'd last read these Vignettes -- and, as such, most of them may as well be "new to me". Having our man faced with the fear that he'll be rejected or looked down upon for his mutant ability was pretty interesting. Even as he armored-up to fight off the T-Rex, all he could think about is how Nereel was going to react upon seeing him. Of course, with the context of what happened in the Anya chapter, this makes complete and total sense. Colossus being a younger (and more naïve) man is being played up here, and it's nice to see it.

As I've mentioned, when I entered the X-Fandom, Colossus was one of the "old guard", and often portrayed as a sullen put-upon sadsack. When I first saw that he was previously romantically-linked to Kitty Pryde, it skeeved me out, because I mentally placed him as being -- not just older, but a lot older than her. Seeing stories like this... well, it doesn't completely wipe out the skeeve-factor, but it helps me to see Piotr as being on the younger side of adult.

Now, Pete does the thing... armors up... saves the gals. Then, gets boffed. It's always been odd to me that the fact that Colossus has a son never got all that much in the way of play. In fact, Peter Jr.'s only appeared like 3-4 times. Even stranger, in the current-ish post-HoXPoX/pre-Inferno2 landscape, Colossus is depicted as working in the fields of the Savage Land most of the time. You'd almost expect he and li'l Pete to meet up. Then again, considering Marvel's current-year editorial and creative, your guess is as good as mine if they even realize this bit of x-history even exists. My money's on "no".

Overall - this was a good chapter. What's more, if made me further appreciate an earlier chapter. That's a win-win in my book. Worth a look!

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Twenty (1988)

 

X-Men Vignettes #20 (1988)
"Mother of the Bride"
Writer - Jo Duffy
Art - John Bolton
Letters - Tom Orzechowski
Colors - Petra Scotese
Edits - Kavanagh, Nocenti, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #20 (April, 1988)

Here we are, back to physical media -- so's I don't have to try and sneak around my own (too rigid for my own good) rules... well, until Chapterrrrrr... 27, wuzzit? Now, that one I can't even say I own any physical version of... so, I may not be able to talk myself through!

Anyway, here we be -- back in the land of awful askew and drab iPhone camera pics, with that unmistakable Sheehan charm and skill. Hope we survive the x... well, you know.

Also, heard three of the sweetest words I'd ever been told yesterday -- "It's a cyst".

Let's Duffy!

--

Today's Vignette opens during the wedding of Storm and... well, he's got a mustache, but that certainly isn't Forge. Before we get all that much further in, this is gonna have some hippy-dippiness to it, lots of talk of "Mother Earth" of "Mother Nature"... hence the title of the bit, "Mother of the Bride". It's got a bit of X-Men Greeniness to it... but, will it manage to leave the same black stain on my soul as that piece of sh...err, litter? Let's keep goin' and find out. So, Storm's at the altar... and her friends (and some old bitty) are all here to watch her be wed. It might be worth noting that Duffy is doing her damnedest to evoke that "Claremontian" tone in the narration captions.

Suddenly, the entire scene devolves into something out of public access horror... or a wildly uncreative current year comic book -- everybody's a zombie! Well, everybody except Storm, that is. The putrefied versions of her friends start working their way toward her... with dark lust in their eyes. Ororo backs herself out of the chapel and manages to take flight.

Turns out, this is all some sort of a fever dream. Storm's actually sleeping it off in some tree house or something, like she's turn of the century Donna Troy. She notices that she's injured her arm... but cannot seem to remember quite how. We will find out soon enough. Now, Storm wakes up, yea? When she does, she is attacked by a Zombie Janitor named Jack. Well, his nametag says "Jack"... and we'll soon find out why such attention was paid to that portion of his jumpsuit. I mean, it's the only part of the thing that isn't shaded in -- so, it's gonna mean somethin', right?

Before long, Storm-in-the-present finds herself surrounded by an entire team of Zombie Janitors. Behind the lot of 'em stands... the dude she dreamed she was going to marry. Their eyes meet, and suddenly Ororo begins to remember. Now, we might all be paraphrasing that certain song by asking "Well, how did we get here?" -- so, howabout we hop into Flashback Land and find out?

We zip back to Storm enjoying a day off after a recent X-Men adventure. She's at a resort getting some Sun next to the "man-made concrete-lined hole in the ground", which, if I may translate from annoying-to-English, means "swimming pool". Nearby, she sees a crying older woman -- the same one we saw at the "wedding" a few pages back, asamattafact. Storm inquires as to what might be troubling the bitty, and finds out that she was married to a fella named Jack (oh?), who worked for Twelvetrees Chemicals. Twelvetrees, inventors and producers of a "metal substitute" had Jack working in their factory -- but, he died on the job, likely of some sort of chemical poisoning. Twelvetrees told the ol' lady (Alice Norton) that it would be too dangerous to release his body back to her... and, even too dangerous for her to have a viewing.

And so, we leave it to 'Ro. Before we know it, she's set up a meeting at Twelvetrees -- with Richard Twelvetrees himself. Richard is, duh, the mustachioed dream-groom. Storm chats him up about Jack Norton. He shows her the YK-23 Jack (and others) died working on. It's light as plastic, strong as steel -- and less expensive to produce than either. Just then, our Vignette writer sneezes and loses her place in the story -- so, we jump right ahead to Zombie Jack shambling into Twelvetrees' office. Richard is initially quite annoyed... but, his mood changes in an instant. He orders Jack to -- kill Storm! This... this is pretty rough.

Jack lunges at Storm, taking a big ol' bite out of her arm before she manages to take flight and escape. Somehow in between the time Jack lunges... and reaches Ororo, she has changed from her sharp business-casual skirt combo into her full X-Men costume -- tiara and all! Did Kurt let her use his Image Inducer or something? Oh well, Storm does escape -- and manages to keep herself collected until reaching the tree house, where she passes out.

That's "how we got here" -- so, howsabout we wrap this sucker up, eh? Storm is surrounded by the Zombie horde -- realizing she's been literally and figuratively backed into a corner. She's vowed never to take a life -- even that of a zombie, I guess. So, what is she to do? Well, turns out the question is about to be rendered moot -- because, ugh -- Mother Nature decides to intervene. The zombies are hit with bolts of lightning -- "killing" them. Storm escapes with her life, and didn't have to compromise her morals to do so. Well... hmm... we'll talk about that in the down below.

--

Okay, well this kinda sucked.

Has a bit of the X-Men Green stank on it -- which begs the question: Is it #worsethanxmengreen? [balki]of course not, don't be reedeekolous[/balki]. Nothing is worse than X-Men Green. I mean, this was bad -- and I never wanna read it again -- but, I think I'd rather tattoo this on the inside of my eyelids than ever subject myself to X-Men Green again.

I only really have one takeaway -- and I'm only seeing it thru squinted eyes. The ending of this story has Storm seemingly being "gifted" a gimme by Mother Nature. We know from future stories that Storm, moral/ethical code or not -- will do what needs done when the situation calls for it. She can be ruthless... and, as current year comics refuse to stop mentioning "is just as dangerous with or without her powers". But here -- she can't bring herself to "pull the trigger".

Or, at least that's how it looks, yes? Part All of me wonders if she may've unconsciously summoned the lightning to take out the zombies. Asamattafact, I read this for the first time while in the waiting room at the doctor's office. It wasn't as thorough a read as I usually give these things -- I was pretty uncomfortable, and really just reading to keep my mind off things. But, during that read, seeing these zombies taken out by lightning -- I just assumed Storm did it. It wasn't until my second read-thru that I noticed this weather-witchiness being attributed to Mother Nature. But, ya know what? I'm still not buyin' it. I think that Storm was pushed to her limits... was in a do or die situation, and chose to "do".

She can wrap that up as a "gift" from Mother Nature... if that'll help the medicine go down a bit easier, but if you ask me -- this was ALL Storm. Sure, this way she doesn't have to feel accountable -- but, I think this is a situation wherein she's just lying to herself. Could I be wrong? Of course... but, at the end of the day, it's not as though this story will ever be referenced again, right?

Overall, a bit of a stinker -- unevenly (and conveniently) told, probably the weakest Vignette to this point. Only worth a look for the Bolton art, which -- as usual, is a treat.

X-Lapsed, Episode 326 - X-Men Unlimited #21 (2022)

X-Lapsed, Episode Three Hundred Twenty-Six

X-Men Unlimited (vol.3) #21 (February, 2022)
"Downtime: Featuring Madrox & Strong Guy"
By Jason Loo
Letters - VC's Joe Sabino
Edits - Amaro, Cebulski
On-App: February 7, 2022

Life of Wolverine #5 (February, 2022)
"Chapter Five: Guided by Shadows"
Writer - Jim Zub
Art - Ramon Bachs
Colors - Java Tartaglia
Letters - VC's Joe Sabino
Edits - Baumgartner, Basso, White, Cebulski
On-App: February 17, 2022

Because absolutely, positively nobody demanded it - X-Lapsed has returned (for today, anyway).  It's Unlimited day... mostly because I was in the middle of writing this script when I decided to hang things up a few weeks ago.  Not much to talk about on the comics front... but, if you make it to around the twenty-minute mark, you can hear all about why there hasn't been a new episode of the show in nearly a month!

If you only listen to one episode of X-Lapsed this month... well, it'll probably be this one!  Huge thanks to everybody who's stuck with me!

--

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/xlapsed

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X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Nineteen (1988)

 

X-Men Vignettes #19 (1988)
"I, Magneto!"
Writer - Chris Claremont
Art - John Bolton
Letters - Tom Orzechowski
Colors - Nei Yomtov
Edits - Kavanagh, Nocenti, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #19 (March, 1988)

I lost a bit of sleep last night... for a couple of reasons.

First: I have a doctor's appointment this morning I'm a little bit worried about, and Second: I had to try and justify the fact that I'm about to break one of my Chris-mandments and "cheat" in order to present today's Vignette.

As I've been hinting at for the past couple'a pre-rambles, I do not actually own Classic X-Men #19 (March, 1988)... and, as such, according to my "rules", should not be discussing it here on the blog. Well, here's da t'ing. While I may not own Classix #19... I do have a copy of the X-Men: Vignettes, Volume 2 trade paperback -- which includes the back-up story we're going to be discussing as soon as I stop blibbuh-blabbah'ing.

So, there's my "loophole". That having been said -- while I do have a copy of that trade... it is currently packed away at one of the houses - either here, waiting for me to unpack it... or there, waiting to be hauled over. So, I'm still going to be using the... *groan* digital version to procure the pictures for today's piece. I know absolutely nobody on this, or any other, planet gives half a damn about any'a this (nor should they!), but -- like I said, I don't have a diary, or any friends -- so, these pre-rambles have become something of a brain-dump for me.

I actually considered using this as an x-cuse to jump back into X-Lapsed, but with this doctor's appointment weighing on me I didn't think I'd be up for spitting into a mic for the better part of an hour. Also, the show's been away for three weeks at this point, and I've yet to hear from anyone who misses the damn thing. Maybe I made the right call in pulling the plug when I did?

Anyway, brain-dump over -- let's hop into a Vignette which follows up on the one we looked at back in Chapter Twelve!

--

Our story opens at a post-World War II Nazi fortress/base in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. It's just an ordinary Nazi-day... until they notice a strange man, all by his lonesome, walking up the way. When he doesn't appear to be giving his approach a second-thought, the Nazis (do we capitalize the word "Nazi"? I dunno...) sound the alarm. Unfortunately for them, this isn't just an ordinary strange man -- but, the Master of Magnetism... and he's here for their asses.

With but a lift of his hand, Magneto is able to tear great big holes in the fortress walls. Nazi artillery bounces off his body. He hoists a tank into the air, throwing it directly into a nearby helicopter. Before the dust even settles, he sees his quarry -- and, it's a good thing this is a text-based deal and not a podcast, cuz there's no way I'd be able to pronounce this one -- Oberstrumbanführer Hans Richter of the Waffen SS. Anyway, Mags is sees this fella... and proceeds to hoist and toss another tank right at him.

Magneto enters Hans' quarters via the busted-up balcony, tying up the baddie on his way to a giant vault. Our man is able to magnetically access all the loot -- however, it's here where we first see what sort of stress his mutant powers put on his brain. He's hit with a migraine the likes of which he cannot even summon the words to describe. A pretty interesting bit of foreshadowing, as well as a sign that our mutant big-bad wasn't immediately an all-powerful dude who had complete control over his abilities.

In the vault, Magneto is able to locate a notebook which lists the names and locations of members of a network of leftover Nazis. He explains to Hans that he and the folks he's working for will be able to smash Odessa with this information. He then calls in to those folks he's working for: Control. Isn't that the same organization that Maxwell Smart works for? Ya know, I had to check -- cuz, I initially said that in jest -- but, yeah, that is who Maxwell Smart worked for! While he makes the call, Hans notices the agony our man appears to be in -- so, even those of us in the back of the class will get it. Worth noting, Erik reports in as Magneto, so he's already using his [hoxpox]mutant name[/hoxpox].

From here, we jump ahead a couple of weeks, rejoining Magneto on a Rio beach where he's met by his doctor, the beautiful Isabelle Somethinrnuther. She teases him about being on the beach while dressed in full formal attire, before they head back to their room. Worth noting, before she approaches, our man was reading a newspaper, which featured a story about his old friend, Charles Xavier who just gave a lecture at a Genetics Conference. Magneto wonders to himself whether or not Xavier could help him better control his powers.

Anyway, Isabelle whisks Magneto up to their room where it looks like things are about to become a bit PG-13. Erik pulls away, however, not completely over the loss of his family. While Magda did abandon him, the entire situation surrounding their split is still quite "raw". As we saw during Chapter Twelve, this is something that still affects and weighs on him even to the "present day".

Isabelle attempts to comfort him... however, the stress of these memories have caused our man to succumb to another migraine. She tells him he should be hospitalized... which, sure, probably -- if he were a normal man -- but, what in all hells is a hospital gonna do for a Master of Magnetism? Isabelle offers to give our man a massage to try and calm him down... and so, she does. During the act, however, the poor gal's neck gets slit! Well, that was unexpected.

Magneto springs up, where he finds himself greeted by -- Control?! Ah, ya see, Control's a bunch of dickbags who have been using the "mutie" to serve their interests. The whole thing is a confusing jumbled Dagwood Sandwich of a plan. We've got Nazis and Commies and Muties -- oh my! I guess Magneto's original orders, at least for this outing, had to do with collaborating with the Nazis in order to beat the Commies? Doesn't look like the bigwig at Control really cares who they're siding or fighting with, so long as it serves some nebulous interests of -- whoever Control answers to?

At this point, Magneto is -- ya know, ticked. He goes to lunge at the Control Geeks -- but finds himself flashed by one of 'em! Looks like this goof is wearing a tin-foil vest or something which amplifies and reflects Magneto's hoo-doo back on him? Kinda makes ya wonder why more folks didn't have these vests during Magneto's time as one of the biggest big-bads on the planet? Anyway, Erik asks Control why they killed Isabelle -- why not just come for him? Well, something-something "pound of flesh".

They then point their guns directly at Magneto's head -- but, choose to mock him for a bit rather than, ya know, pulling the trigger. This gives our man enough time to collect himself... and, ya know, destroy everybody and everything. He informs the lead Control jagoff that he is homo superior, and thanks to this x-perience, he's now seen the light. He knows he is destined to rule... and, lord help anybody who dare get in his way. Magneto... is born.

--

There have been plenty of attempts at telling Magneto solo stories... and more often then not, they're a terrible bore. At least to me. I feel like when writers are tasked with telling a Magneto tale, they often frame it so Magneto himself is the least impressive part of it. It's always more focused on political unrest or people "reacting" to Magneto -- or, in the case of the Cullen Bunn ongoing, they just dunked each issue in a vat of sleeping powder before shipping it.

Claremont, however, gives us such thoughtful looks into Magneto's life and times -- it never feels boring, he never feels like a side-character, and he's seldom depicted as being wholly good or entirely bad. As we saw in Chapter Twelve, he overcame adversity -- and managed to keep the faith that people were mostly good -- until that first domino tipped, and his daughter wound up burning to death. Let's talk a moment about his reaction there. Was it justified? Well, if you ask me, I'd probably say "yeah". It was a situation of great stress, frustration, and loss. If you were to ask somebody else, you might get a different answer. We could go into the whole "great power, great yadda yadda" thing, but Erik was still quite naïve to the full scope of his "great power" at this point, so it might not be a road worth going down.

I think it's more a question of "Just because you can... does that mean you should?"

We can probably all agree that ol' Erik struck the mutie lottery when it came to getting a useful power, yes? He could be, and often is, the most dangerous mutant on the planet. As we saw in this story, he understands that. He knows how powerful he is... and can be. Sure, he gets a splitting headache every time he pushes himself, but the power remains.

Before moving on, let's hop back to Chapter Twelve one more time. Despite the fact that he turned a bunch of dudes into smoldering skeletons at the end of that story, that "switch" didn't flip entirely. He wasn't immediately "Silver Age Lunatic" Magneto just yet. Instead, he collects himself... attempts to process his loss(es)... and signs up with a group called Control. This is some'a that subtle stuff I (over) romanticize during our Vignette Visits. Ya see, Erik is still able to trust. It's not said outright, but, via his actions and his willingness to... follow orders. Control, an apt name for the organization (yes?), is sending him out to handle their business -- and, since it appears they have a "common enemy" in the leftover nazis, Erik doesn't even consider that the "fix" might be in.

I mean, I could get all precious here, and invoke the "When they came for the _____, I did nothing..." line, because honestly -- I think I could get away with it. Erik allows Control to... control him, when it comes to taking out other groups. Take out the leftover Nazis? Can do. Then, the Commies? Sure... but, what about when Control comes for the "muties"? Maybe I'm overthinking it... maybe I'm trying to look smarter than I actually am. In any event, I appreciate that Magneto never seemed to consider that Homo-Superior could or would ever be targeted. It's subtle naivete -- the likes of which we do not usually associate with the Master of Magnetism.

We wrap this story with our man's "coming of age". He's suffered loss after loss... the very thing that powers him is also making his life painfully uncomfortable... and, the people he's put his trust in have just tried to blow his brains out. Not a good day to be Erik Lensherr... but a damn good day to be Magneto.

Another homerun from our Vignettes team -- and another wonderful deep-dive into the "in-between days" of Magneto.

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Eighteen (1988)

 

X-Men Vignettes #18 (1988)
"Stalking Life!"
Writer - Jo Duffy
Art - John Bolton
Letters - Tom Orzechowski
Colors - Petra Scotese
Edits - Kavanagh, Nocenti, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #18 (February, 1988)

Let's kick things off with a little bit of... baaaaaaad neeeeeews. Well, sorta -- I guess it all depends on your mileage. But, to follow up on a bit I shared a few chapters back -- I do not own Classic X-Men #19 (I'm also missing #'s 27, 30, and 35). I took a ride the other day trying to procure 'em (or at least #19), and... well, I was unsuccessful. I'm going to try and squeeze out a few minutes today and hit another shop or two, but I'm on WrestleMania alternative-commentary duty today for W2M (and have been all weekend), so I can't say with certainty that I'll even get to feel sunshine on my shoulders today!

So, let's say I can't find it -- where does that put us tomorrow? Uhh... I dunno. Honestly, this whole Vignette Project has been flying by -- I can't believe we're like halfway thru it! When I started, and realized I still needed a few of the issues - I had it in my head that it would take forever to get to them... and so, I had plenty of time to find 'em! I guess life's what happens when you stop paying attention, eh?

I guess we'll all be surprised tomorrow. And, by "all", I mean me -- and like 1-2 other people! Oh, you know I can't get thru a pre-ramble without at least one self-depreciating line about my own irrelevance!

For today though, we've got our first non-Claremont-written Vignette -- which, if I were a fella who used hashtags, would probably really hinder the visibility of this piece! Good thing I don't... I guess?

--

We open with the Jeanix somewhere deep in wooded area of the Xavier School grounds. She's all alone, and... well, that's x-actly how she seems to want it right now. She's set up camp... and is enjoying a little peace and quiet away from the onslaught of "them". We learn right away, however, that she isn't quite as alone as she thinks. In the foreground we see a knife-wielding voyeur checking out the scene. When the Jeanix heads over to a pond to fetch some dirty, bacterial water for her coffee, our would-be predator lunges! Unfortunately for him, she ducks. Fortunately for her, this attack paints him as being about half as smart as one of the Three Stooges.

This woodland stalker turns out to be... Wolverine. So, we're supposed to believe that this apex predator is going to be so sloppy a hunter? Well, in fairness -- Jean is the Phoenix, and the Phoenix's powers, abilities, and senses are -- convenient. Also, she's got different word balloons. As Logan turns around to face his quarry, she's now in her full green-n-gold glory, and speaking with a scary rasp to her voice. Our man tells her that he only followed her to make sure she was okay. Okay, fair enough -- when asked why he's chosen to "hunt" her, she responds that he just wanted to test her -- see how good she really is. I... don't think that would hold up in court. Wolvie reveals that he kept his thoughts "primal"... which I didn't realize was a power he had. This would (in theory) make it so the Jeanix would think he was just some random woodland critter. He was using a knife, so Jean wouldn't hear and SNIKTing. Well, Jean's a little too powerful to fall for any'a that -- and also, the fact that Banshee is hiding in a bush right over'chere didn't do much to help Logan's hunt.

Jean, Logan, and Sean chat for a bit. Jean reveals that this newfound Phoenix power can be overwhelming. There's a fear that comes with it -- the fear isn't exactly due to the power itself, but the staggering amount of options that the power presents. She can basically do anything. To further drive that point home, she TK-hurls the coffee pot at Banshee, and proceeds to lift the entire pond out of the ground so he can fetch a kettle'a scummy water.

Just then, however, we get another surprise guest -- Nightcrawler! He BAMFs in from "miles" away, and manages to scare the bejeezus outta the Jeanix! This causes her to lose focus... and control of that entire pond's worth of water, fish, and funk she's been holding up!

Over the course of the next couple'a pages... everybody and everything winds up... ya know, wet. We get a reminder here that Wolverine's got a metal skeleton, which makes me think this one was written while BIG Jim Shooter was still in the EiC seat. Logan razzes the Elf for screwing everything up -- to which, Kurt pleads that he had no idea Jean was holding up an entire pond. Stands to reason, yes? Nightcrawler remained several miles away so she wouldn't be able to read his thoughts or know that her teammates were planning to "test her".

The Jeanix is annoyed at the entire situation... which, ya know, is fair. Kurt suggests that Phoenix ought to have the ability to undo anything she does do... unless it has anything to do with asparagus. Okay, he doesn't say that last part. Anyway, we wrap up with Jeanix doing just that -- collecting all of the water and nastiness of the Xavier pond, and ploppin' it right back where she got it.

Our story closes with the fellas satisfied by the results of this "test" of Jean's new Phoenix powers... and a Saturday Morning Cartoon-ish gag about still needing to fetch some water for the coffee!

--

This was one of those stories that probably read a lot better back in the long ago. There's nothing actually "wrong" with it, and it's quite fun for what it is -- but, in the (nearly 40!) years since, Marvel has done such a number on what the Phoenix actually is/was -- that it's hard for me to really accept anything Phoenix-y at face value.

Maybe it's my own density... maybe it's my own "sins of the son" damage -- but, everything Marvel's done since... and their flip-floppy definition and characterization of the Phoenix... I dunno, it makes me wish fewer of our Vignettes were so hyper-focused on it. Honestly, there are only so many times I can complain about wibbly-wobbly and convenient continuity, and how it distracts from the actual story we're looking at before that loses whatever novelty it may've (but likely never) had.

So, let's do our best not to concern ourselves with any'a that... if we can.

This story, in a vacuum, was (as mentioned) pretty fun. I'm not sure it necessarily "stands to reason" that Logan, Kurt, and Sean would be trying to "test" Jean this way... but, it does facilitate the events that transpire. Boy, there's a sentence that means absolutely nothing, eh?

Yeah, I'm already in vamping mode -- lemme just lay it out. This was a fun story... if you don't think too hard about it... or what happened after. The lead-off story for this issue of Classix reprints X-Men #112, during which Jeanix goes toe-to-toe with Magneto... and loses. Perhaps this "testing" is due to that? Or, more likely, it's a harmless inventory story that I'm trying way too hard to "make fit".

Oh well - at's all I got. Fun story, excellent art -- probably worth the 3-4 minutes it'd take ya to read it! Probably not worth the 4-5 minutes you just spent reading this. Then again, ain't nothin' gonna make that worthwhile!