Weird Comics History - The Anatomy of a Slap

Weird Comics History
Avengers #213:That time Hank Pym did that thing he did...

Dusting off the Weird Comics History branding again, in order to address one of the inadvertent "seminal moments" in Marvel History... and, also to sorta kinda "pick a bone" regarding comic book "shorthand"... how a character can be defined by one action, to the point where it becomes the only thing a casual (or non) reader knows about that character.

I've talked before about how nobody can write a Speedy story without mentioning that... he was a heroin addict. How that one story line, from a half-century ago, is still all anybody wants to write about. Every Speedy story since is predicated in the fact that, Green Arrow's ward was... a junkie! Roy a father? Well yeah, but he's a junkie father! Roy started a new career? I wonder what'll happen when his bosses find out he's... a junkie! Ya know, stuff like that. Hell, the DC Universe has been rebooted, what... a half-dozen times since O'Neil/Adams' Hard-Traveling Heroes run? And yet, poor Roy Harper has been forever branded.

Roy ain't the fella I'm wanting to talk about, however. As you can see by the title of this piece, we're going to be discussing the Slap that forever branded Hank Pym... a Wife-Beater! Now, it should go without saying, but this is the internet, so I'll say it anyway -- nothing about this piece is intended as a "defense", excusing, or making light of Pym's actions/behaviors. Domestic abuse isn't anything to joke about. As part of my Masters coursework, I worked on/with several cases of it... and, if you're a victim of it, it's the sort of life I couldn't begin to wrap my head around.

This topic came to mind while I was digging through a back-issue bin at a shop early last week. This isn't a shop I frequent, as... it just doesn't have a great vibe. But, you know me when it comes to conducting an "exhaustive" search of the bins when I've got something on my "gotta find" list. Anyway, while I was there, there were two or three dudes chatting up the owner. Since this is a comic book store, they were naturally talking about comic book... movies. Kill me.

After round-tabling over how old Professor X looks, they shifted the subject over to Ant Man. One of them mentioned how they wished the film was more about "the other Ant Man"... ya know, the one who "got drunk and beat his wife all the time". The owner didn't correct him -- then again, this is a fella who I've heard tell multiple customers (myself included) that he's "too rich" and "too busy" to read comic books... so, I suppose it makes sense for him not to say anything.

Now I... almost said something. I really wanted to ask this fella if he'd ever read those Pym stories... and, if so, maybe give 'em another look. But, a) nobody likes the "ackshully guy", and b) I really didn't want to be part of this conversation... so, I didn't say anything. I mean, it's not this dude's fault that this is all he knows about Hank Pym -- because it's the only thing anybody ever really seems to talk about! He probably gets his comics history and news from, I dunno, a clickbait Newzarama Top Ten or Wizard Magazine's Twisted Toyfare Theatre or something.

So, instead of "getting into it" there... I decided that, throughout the week I'd literally "get into it"... the story, that is. There's been a lot said about it -- including some corrections/revisionism from the writer of the issue, Jim Shooter himself... some of which... I dunno, doesn't really line up. So, let's... ya know... get into it.

First, some table-setting.

Hank Pym is a multiple-time loser. I'm one'a those as well, so I'm allowed to say that. Okay -- lemme 'splain. At the time of the slap, Hank's biggest "accomplishment" was... creating Ultron. Well, Pym Particles too... but, Ultron was "fresher". He was haunted by the guilt of this... and further, being married to a woman who could seemingly spin gold out of straw (figuratively speaking), led to Hank suffering from pangs of inadequacy. Depression. Anxiety. This would lead to Hank taking multiple breaks from the superhero life, and the Avengers. I mean, he surely isn't an easy character to write... so, why not turn that negative into a positive by making his absences part of his story?

Jim Shooter, writer of the "wife-beater" issue, would say of Hank: "His history was largely a litany of failure, always changing guises and switching back and forth from research to hero-ing because he wasn't succeeding at either. He was never the Avenger who saved the day at the end and usually the first knocked out or captured. His most notable 'achievement' in the lab was creating Ultron. Meanwhile, his rich, beautiful wife succeeded in everything she tried. She was also always flitting around his shoulders, flirting, saying things to prop up his ego."

In the lead-up to the slap story, Hank was back... and was acting increasingly erratic. His bitterness took over, and he'd verbally lash out at Janet... in front of the rest of the team! Example below from Avengers #212 (October, 1981) aka. "Slap-Eve". He seems to be in a constant and painful state of struggle due to his feelings of inadequacy.

Hank tells Jan where she can stick her money and butlers
Avengers #212 (October, 1981) - (w) Jim Shooter / (a) Alan Kupperberg

Later that very same issue, this would lead to him endangering the entire squad (as well as the public) during a battle with the ElfQueen. During this brouhaha, Captain America appears to be able to get through to the ElfQueen... hopeful that he can diffuse a very dangerous situation peaceably -- when, ol' Hank goes into business for himself -- zapping the EQ in the back with one of his stingers! This completely undoes and undermines Cap's attempt at mitigating the threat.

Hank figures out his stingers... just in time to foul everything up! Avengers #212 (October, 1981) - (w) Jim Shooter / (a) Alan Kupperberg

The ElfQueen reacts to this by... dropping a truck on our man! Thankfully, his erstwhile better half was there to save his bacon. Well, thankfully in the "dude didn't get crushed by a truck" way... though, perhaps just a little bit embarrassing for our Hank.

Hank doesn't amount to a (very small) hill'a beans...
Avengers #212 (October, 1981) - (w) Jim Shooter / (a) Alan Kupperberg

Oddly, Avengers #212 includes a bit of a lead-up to the ElfQueen's attack... in a scene wherein she's... uh... slapped in the face by her husband, Gorn. Why bother bringing this up? Well, it sorta-kinda feels like something we're intended to draw parallels to, what with what's about to happen between Hank and Jan. I mean, that's my immediate takeaway. Maybe I'm wrong?

Spousal Abuse, Take One
Avengers #212 (October, 1981) - (w) Jim Shooter / (a) Alan Kupperberg

In witnessing this increasingly erratic, reckless, and dangerous behavior from Pym, that Captain America court martials him. With little time in the interim, Hank heads back to the lab in order to come up with something that may redeem him in the eyes of his fellow Avengers. What he comes up with is... well, another Adamantium Robot! It worked so well the first time, yes? Anyway, the gimmick here is that... he'd unleash this robot on the Avengers, knowing that he himself would be the only one who could defeat it. Solid plan, eh? So, Hank would save the day -- and be back in everybody's good graces. What could possibly go wrong?

What's the definition of insanity again?
Avengers #213 (November, 1981) - (w) Jim Shooter / (a) Bob Hall

Janet, worried about her frazzled husband, would investigate... and discover both the robot and Hank's plan for it. This, my friends, is where The Slap happens.

The Slap
Avengers #213 (November, 1981) - (w) Jim Shooter / (a) Bob Hall

Pretty cut and dry, yes? Hank, pushed to the limits of his sanity, lashes out and backhands poor Jan. It's not exactly "dur hur, gets drunk and beats his wife all the time", but it's pretty plain to see that this was an intentional WHAK!, yes?

Well, maybe notsomuch? Let's check in on Jim Shooter's old blog... in a post titled "Hank Pym was Not a Wife-Beater", dated March 29, 2011, Jim would blame "the slap" on a bit of lateness on his part added with a dash of miscommunication between he and artist, Bob Hall. Jim sez:

"In that story (issue 213, I think), there is a scene in which Hank is supposed to have accidentally struck Jan while throwing his hands up in despair and frustration -- making a sort of "get away from me" gesture while not looking at her. Bob Hall, who had been taught by John Buscema to always go for the most extreme action, turned that into a right cross (actually a left-handed backhand slap)! There was no time to have it redrawn, which, to this day has caused the tragic story of Hank Pym to be known as the 'wife-beater' story."

Now, as much as I wanna take Mr. Shooter at his word here... I'm struggling a bit. Let's play out his scene. Jan comes in, Hank accidentally bops her in the face -- and, then what? Like, why even include the scene at all, if you're not going to go "all the way" with it? I'm assuming Avengers #213 was created using the "Marvel Method", which is to say - plot, to pencils, to script. What do y'all think Shooter's plot said? I mean, if he can recall enough detail to know that he intended for Hank to "throw up his hands in despair and frustration", than he definitely had (a version of) this scene in mind, yes?

How does this scene add to Hank's downfall if it doesn't go the way it does? Later on in the issue, Janet removes her sunglasses... revealing the fresh black eye left on her by her husband. Hank -- doesn't show any remorse. He doesn't appear to regret his actions, nor care to do anything about making it right. In fact, he doubles-down on being a jerk!

Janet reveals her black eye
Avengers #213 (November, 1981) - (w) Jim Shooter / (a) Bob Hall

It's perhaps worth noting that the lettering in Hank's word balloons looks quite a bit different than the rest on the page... perhaps a sign of a last-minute rewrite? I suppose that somewhat supports Shooter's statements... maybe? Well, let's check in with Bob Hall, the guest-penciler of this issue and get his thoughts, from a comments thread on Bleeding Cool:

Bob Hall sez: "I never heard Jim's side of the story. He never said he didn't like the slap panel -- on the other hand, I can't imagine that he did. I would never have drawn that panel two or three years later and I certainly wouldn't draw it now the way I did then."

Regarding the Marvel Method-iness of the piece: "I have no memory of how the panel was described in the synopsis but the Marvel Method gave you a lot of lee way. What I interpreted then might have been quite different from how I would look at it now. I can't imagine Shooter would not have asked for a re-draw had there been time."

Of the panel itself: "I remember re-drawing that particular panel several times -- not for Jim but because I didn't like the results. The final panel was the point where I gave up and thought -- I know how to do Marvel Action -- I'll make it Marvel Action cause nothing else I've done seems right either."

Hall wrapped up his thoughts by corroborating Jim Shooter's take... or, at the very least, not contradicting it. He sez: "I'm not ashamed of the issue -- I did the best I could then -- but in this instance, I don't doubt Jim's story."

So, where do we end up here? Well, I'm just a regular ol' know-nothing, so all's I can go with is my gut. Personally, I think the truth, as it usually is, is somewhere in the middle. If I were a betting man (and thankfully, I am not), I'd wager that mayyybe there was to be a bit of intentional physicality involved in the scene as originally conceived -- perhaps just not to the extent that we got. The obvious (to me, anyway) rewritten dialogue in the "black eye" scene really says a lot to me in supporting Shooter's claim. The issue was drawn, there was no time for a redo... and one of the big things about Shooter's time in the big seat was... getting the books out on time. It wouldn't be a good look for his book to miss deadline, right?

So, accidental or otherwise - the damage is done, yes? The knee-jerk response to the utterance of the name "Hank Pym" will forevermore be "Wife-Beater"! You may wonder, with all the relaunches, reboots, reimaginings... all the "Everything you thought you knew... was wrong!" hoo-doo that Marvel loves to pull -- why hasn't this been "undone"?

Well... they tried... sorta. Let's hop ahead a decade and a half to one of the more notorious Avengers stories of all time... perhaps even moreso than The Slap -- we're talking The Crossing! Avengers #395 (February, 1996) reveals... in the midst of this absolute mess of a story, that Kang was responsible for all'a Hank Pym's mental breakdowns!

Avengers #395 (February, 1996) - (w) Bob Harras and/or Terry Kavanagh / (a) Mike Deodato

All's good in the hood then, yes? Well... for a minute. Jumping ahead just three years later, Avengers Forever #8 (July, 1999) reveals that this... was a lie! Nobody was responsible for Hank's mental state... besides Hank himself!

Avengers Forever #8 (July, 1999) - (w) Kurt Busiek / (a) Carlos Pacheco

There have been a number of opportunities to "make right" Hank's wrongs... Secret Invasion being the most obvious and glaring. But, for whatever reason, it's still part of Pym's story. To many out there, it's the only thing he's ever done! This defines his character to the point where, as part of Marvel's "new-reader friendly" Ultimate line... it literally was his entire character! Let's take a look at, master of subtlety-and-nuance-in-comics, Mark Millar's take in Ultimates #6 (August, 2002):

The Ultimate Slap
Ultimates #6 (August, 2002) - (w) Mark Millar / (a) Bryan Hitch

Hey, at least there was an attempt at consistency with Hank using his left hand. Here we see our man lashing out after being bothered while working. Ultimate Wasp, unlike her 616 counterpart, doesn't shrink away (no pun intended) from the confrontation. You may be thinking -- hey, that's not so bad -- it's playing up the 1981 scene for a new "grittier" generation. Oh-ho, we're not done yet... hell, we're barely getting started.

Janet bites Hank's arm, breaking the skin. Once that blood's drawn, Pym sees red and ups his level of violence. Jan does shrink down to escape being pinned against the desk... at which point. Oh boy, Hank grabs a can of bug spray. Is this parody? It's reading like parody.

No, it's not parody... well, not intentional parody. Hank Pym is indeed unloading a can of toxic spray all over his wife. Laughing while he does so! Comparing its burn to that of napalm! And, well... we're still not done yet.

Our hero then sics an army of ants on her. In fairness, he does seem remorseful at the end of the issue... but, at that point, we're go gobsmacked and befuddled by what we just saw, that I don't know that it even matters. Born of a miscommunication, and whether anybody likes it or not -- this is Hank Pym. To entire generations of comic book fans, this is who... or, what he is.

In putting this piece together, I find myself... almost understanding where that goober at the comic shop was coming from, when he mentioned Pym "dur hur, getting drunk and beating his wife all the time"... well, not the "getting drunk" bit, perhaps he was conflating that with that trait Tony Stark can never seem to escape. But, in the spousal abuse... I kinda get it. This is the Hank Pym Marvel wants us to see... it's the only one they're going to let us see. I'm, of course, talking comics only -- I don't watch the movies, you know that. Never seen a single "MCU" movie, in fact!

I honestly didn't see myself coming away from this piece feeling this way.

Before we cut out, just one more bit from Shooter's Blog to corroborate his take. He sez: "When that issue came out, Bill Sienkiewicz came to me upset that I hadn't asked him to draw it! He saw the intent through Hall's mistake, and was moved enough by the story to wish he'd had the chance to do it properly."

This is interesting, as I often wonder how the "creative" mind works... how folks "on the inside" see the same panels we do... while "receiving" them in a completely different way. You and I look at "The Slap", and it -- is what it is, yes? Hank slapped Jan in a fit of frustration. It didn't appear to be an accident or mistake -- just a lapse in his sanity. A pro like Sienkiewicz sees it... differently. To the point where he wished it were him who drew the thing! I'm not a fan of interviewing comics pros, but I do like getting a bit of insight as to their points of view on the "language" and "craft".

To wrap things up, Mr. Sienkiewicz did finally get his chance to be part of a "backhand" scene! Let's hop over to the Clone Saga (wow, The Crossing and the Clone Saga in the same piece? Hatchi-matchi!). In Spectacular Spider-Man #226 (July, 1995), it was revealed that the Peter Parker we'd been following since the original clone story... was, in fact, the clone! This Ben Reilly guy was the real deal! Upon finding out, Peter reacts in... well, a very Pymian way.

The... less talked about Slap
Spectacular Spider-Man #226 (July, 1995) - (w) Tom DeFalco / (a) Sal Buscema (inks - Bill Sienkiewicz)

Driven to the point where be briefly loses touch with his sanity, Peter Parker... who, has the proportionate strength of a spider... backhands his... err, pregnant wife -- sending her flying across the room, where she slams into a void of speed lines and debris! So, I guess the next time they announce yet another Spider-Man film reboot... you can tell the chap who owns your local comic shop that you hope they use the one that "dur hur, gets drunk and beats his wife all the time"?

Or, maybe not. Thanks for reading.

The Collected X-Lapsed, Episode 32 - Reign of X, Volume 10 (2022)

The Collected X-Lapsed, Episode Thirty-Two

Reign of X, Volume 10 (2022)
(00:00:00) X-Factor (vol.4) #8: "Suite No. 8: Scio Me Nihil Scire (Tritone Substitution--Jazz Arrangement)"
(00:35:13) Way of X #1: "Way of X"
(01:34:35) Marauders #20: "Windriders"
(02:08:34) X-Corp #1: "Simply Superior"
(02:50:57) X-Factor (vol.4) #9: "Interlude: DJ Mark's Mixtape of Mojoverse Beats to Make Out To"
Writers - Leah Williams, Si Spurrier, Gerry Duggan, & Tini Howard
Art - David Baldeon, Bob Quinn, Stefano Caselli, & Alberto Foche
Colors - Israel Silva, Java Tartaglia, Edgar Delgado, Chris Sotomayor, & Sunny Gho
Letters - VC's Joe Caramagna, Clayton Cowles, & Cory Petit
Design - Tom Muller
Head of X - Hickman
Edits - Thomas, Andrews-Ballesteros, Amaro, Bissa, White, Cebulski
Cover Price: $17.99
On-Sale: March 16, 2022

This is one'a those "good news/bad news" situations... as, this anthology includes the first issue of the incredible Way of X series, buuuuuuuut it also kicks off X-Corp.

Also, Gerry Duggan remembers that Storm is a part of the Marauders cast just long enough to throw her a going-away party!  Did you know, dear listener, that Storm is just as dangerous without her powers?  Well, if not -- ya will!

Plus, with cancellation on the horizon X-Factor hits heavy truncation mode... doing its damnedest to get its story told... before the mystical axe comes swingin'!

All'at, plus all my usual nonsense!  If you miss my content from a time where I was still delusional enough to think anybody actually wanted it -- the Collecteds are for you! 

--

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X-Lapsed Voicemail: 623-396-5375 (or, 623-396-JERK)

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Dazzler #1 (1981)

 

Dazzler #1 (March, 1981)
"So Bright This Star"
Writer - Tom DeFalco
Pencils - John Romita, Jr.
Inks - Alfredo Alcala
Colors - Glynis Wein
Letters - Joe Rosen
Edits - Jones, Shooter
Cover Price: 50¢

So, whatzis then? Dazzler? We really doin' Dazzler now? Well, no promises or anything... but, I'm game to give it a shot.

Thing about Dazzler is... it's a series I've spent the better part of 25 years collecting. It's not especially difficult to find nor are any of the issues particularly expensive... but, this is one that I decided I would only ever buy in the cheap-o bins. That's not me editorializing on the "value" or "quality" of the series... it's just to say, I never really prioritized it enough to hit the "real" bins it. Another thing about Dazzler is... I've never read it! It's been one'a those "on-purpose" blind spots in my X-Fandom. Just never bothered to sit down with it. Again, that's no indictment on whether or not it's any good... it just never really called out to me.

Figure now that I've finally completed my set, maybe it's about time to rectify that. Just as with our recently-concluded X-Men Vignettes series, this project (if it actually becomes one -- again, no promises) will serve to facilitate (or kinda "force") me actually setting aside the time to read some long-neglected X-Stuffs.

But first... howsabout a Fake-Ass Comics History lesson?

I probably don't need to go into the Casablanca Records stuff, do I? I figure if you're reading a site as niche as this, you probably already know the broader strokes of the deal Marvel had with them, yes? Instead, I wanna talk a little bit about the Direct Marketiness of this series. It was Marvel's very first foray into Direct Market exclusivity. If you look at the (really cool looking) cover, you might notice that it's missing that li'l Spidey Head in the white box.

The Comic Times #3 (November, 1980)

Jim Shooter, on his blog... which was a really awesome repository of information, for the few months he maintained it, said of Dazzler #1:

"At the end of 1980, Marvel published the first regular comic book that was sold exclusively through the Direct Market, Dazzler #1. It sold 428,000 copies. After that success, many more Direct-only offerings were published by Marvel and others. As the Direct Market boomed, increasingly it became the focus at Marvel. It was a low-margin business, yes, but it was a firm sale, and it was pretty easy to target Direct Market consumers. We knew what they wanted. It was like shooting fish in a barrel."

So, what does that all mean? Well, if you listened to the Direct Market episodes of Weird Comics History, you'd know. In case you didn't, lemme give ya the quick 'n dirty: newsstand distribution had a "return clause" attached, where unsold copies could be sent back to a publisher (usually just the front cover of the unsold copy, for ease of proof). Simplified, the publisher would then credit back. The Direct Market was born out of an idea of Phil Seuling's... older fans and fake-ass comics historians such as myself, will likely be familiar with Phil, as he was a big name in the earliest organized comic books conventions. The gimmick was, Marvel/DC/whoever, would sell HIM their product at a reduced price -- without the risk of returns. So, Phil paid upfront for product... and he'd be stuck with it. Which, back in the long ago, when the back-issue market was starting to become a big bit'a business, wasn't a bad thing at all. Phil didn't operate a newsstand, so he had no worries about shelf-space... it made a lot of sense for him to pursue his business this way.

So much sense, that, here we are exactly 50 years later... and it's been the market standard for most of the interim! Since I've already linked to the collected WCH episode, I won't go all that much deeper on the Direct Market overall... it's all there if you wanna hear it! Reggie and I spent the better part of two years researching that bugger... and, it turned out to be the final episodes of that program we were able to complete.

As you can see from the skinny image above (from The Comic Times #3), preorders for Dazzler #1... several months before launch exceeded a quarter of a million copies! Could you imagine? In a time before the Internet (as we know it)... a female-led Direct Market only book... pre-sold over 250,000 copies! Seems almost too good to be true -- but, it's true! Two months later, The Comic Times printed an update... which falls more in line with Jim Shooter's 400k+ figure:

The Comic Times #4 (January, 1981)

Nearly a half-million copies of Dazzler #1 were printed to meet order demands! Could that be due to fears of scarcity? Did folks just not wanna miss out. Did people want "in" on the Direct Sales experiment? Or, maybe there was some curiosity because of the rumored... oh, c'mon... Casablanca Films: Dazzler movie. Well, same as it ever was, eh? Maybe my recollections of comics past are more rose-colored than I thought.

Amazing Heroes #1 (June, 1981)

Back to the Shooter quote. He mentions that Dazzler was the first... but her success on the Direct Market stands led to Marvel (and other publishers) seeing the Direct Market as a viable (ridiculously so) avenue to push their wares. In fact, in my research for this article, I dug through a stack of ancient texts... which is to say, early 80's fan and industry mags... and, around this time, hardly an issue would pass without the announcement of a new Direct Market title... or, Newsstand title(s) that've been shifted over to Direct! Let's just look at the next couple issues of Amazing Heroes:

Amazing Heroes #2 (August, 1981)

continued

Micronauts announced as going Direct in the the August, 1981 issue of Amazing Heroes... then, in the Fall:

Amazing Heroes #3 (October, 1981)

... the 'Nauts are joined by Ka-Zar and Moon Knight! I could go on listing examples... all day, if I'm being honest... but, I think ya get the point. The industry was dipping its whole foot 'n ankle into the Direct Market... and, they found the waters to be quite pleasant... and profitable.

Across the street at DC, they too gave it a goo... just a few months after Dazzler #1, their Madame Xanadu one-shot would be their first foray:

Amazing Heroes #1 (June, 1981)

Was this a successful endeavor for the industry? Well, I suppose we all have our opinions and definitions on what "success" means... especially with nearing a half-century's worth of lessons learned and hindsight. I'm not entirely sure where I stand personally... as, I came into the hobby post-Direct Market, post-80's Indie Boom, post... lotsa stuff! But, at the end of the day, our main takeaway for this piece is that... the book we're about to discuss blazed the trail that changed the industry forever. She was the "canary in a mineshaft"... testing to see how "safe" the air was in this new marketplace. Turns out, the air was so nice that she could not only breathe... but also belt out plenty of disco funk.

But... is it any good? Let's find out...

--

Our story... and series, opens with Dazzler on the run from a gang of street toughs. Why are they chasing her? Who knows! They've been "dogging her" ever since she left the disco, though. Ali turns into an... err, alley... and finds she's hit a dead end. And so, she sits on a garbage can waiting for her pursuers to catch up. Lucky for her, she remembered to bring her analogue iPod, with which can can do her hoo-doo of turning sound (Pink Floyd, in this instance) into light! She also straps her magnetic skates onto her boots... to make this scene that much more awkward. As luck would have it, her lightshow has attracted the attention of a friendly neighborhood so-and-so, who swings on in to get a closer look at what's going down. What he finds is... a bit of DAZZ SMASH... Ali is pummeling the blinded nogoodniks with garbage can lids.

The leader of the pack starts shooting wildly... missing everything with a pulse, but managing to hit the analogue iPod, thus ending the lightshow. Looks like it might be curtains for our gal... but, no -- this is when Spidey arrives to scare all the baddies off. They're not interested in tangling with a superhero... they were just in it to beat up who they thought was a poor, defenseless girl. But why? For sport? I dunno. The gang nearly manages to get away, but ultimately winds up stuck together in a web cocoon hanging from a lamp post. Pete checks to see if Dazz is okay... which prompts her to whinge a whole lot about how crappy her music career is going. Ya know, Ali... when people ask "how ya doin'?", they really just wanna hear "good". Spidey tells her to hang in there, and swings away into the night.

We follow Alison back to her overpriced and underheated apartment. It's made plainly clear that she's flat broke... can't even afford ketchup for a bowl of poor gal's tomato soup, even! So tonight she's having half a putrefying cantaloupe and a sleave of stale Ritz Crackers -- hey, those are name-brand crackers, how broke can she really be? Anyway, she's still in malaise mode. She misses her father, but they had a bit of a falling out when she decided not to follow in his footsteps in becoming a power attorney. So, she decides to make a phone call -- not to her father, mind you -- but, to the X-Men. Hey, this is Marvel's first direct market book... you really don't think all'a the heavy-hitters are gonna show up here?

The X-Men are, where else, the Danger Room. Since this is a Jim Shooter-edited book, it fits perfectly well into what was going on in the X-Books. That also goes for all the rest of the guests stars in this book. Marvel was a tight ship back then. Anyway, while Kitty monitors Storm, Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Wolverine -- the... uh, Danger Room phone rings! The Uncannies all rush to be the one to answer it, even Wolverine... which is weird. Ororo manages to get their first... and, upon hearing Ali's voice, immediately assumes she's going to take up their offer and join the team. Also, give up singing... which, it's weird that it couldn't just be one or the other. Must Alison give up music if she chooses to join the X-Men? She really couldn't do both? I dunno. In any event, Ali says that ain't the case... and she was simply calling to see what's up. It's a short phone call.

After hanging up, Ali stares out her window so we can hop into flashback land. She talks about her time as a little girl who loved music. Loved it so much, she actually had thought balloons which read: "I want to sing... to dance... to entertain!" C'mahhhhn. Daddy Blaire wasn't a fan of his daughter's dreams... and made sure she knew it. She'd often run crying to her Nana for support.

From here, we jump ahead to the Gardendale High School Spring Spectacular... where she's going to take part in a talent show. It's here where her mutant powers first manifested. She sang and lit up the school gym with... do we have a name for the disco funk "Dazzle Balls" that she manifests? Are they just Dazzle Balls? Blaire Balls? Ali-Orbs? There's gotta be a catchier name than that. We'll have to think on it. Anyway, it's during her set where... hey, we got more street toughs! A gang, calling themselves the, ahem "Blazing Lords" bust in through the double doors to... uh, cripple anyone who moves? Okay, but... why? Guess the early 80s were far simpler times... bad guys didn't really need to be all that goal oriented.

So, one'a these scumbags spots Ali on stage... and announces that she now belongs to him. Our Ms. Blaire ain't gonna just let herself be taken, however -- and so, she proceeds to pop off s'more disco funk -- blinding everybody in attendance! The police and emergency services arrive, and the happening is assumed to be some sort of "freak power overload". Dazz, the only person present without her eyes bandaged up, knows that the only "freak" here... is her.

During and after High School, Ali would play with several bands. She'd also enroll and graduate from a pre-law program. Upon her graduation, however, she informs her father that she will not be continuing on to law school. She's got dreams, ya see, and they don't include... whatever it is a lawyer does. Daddy Blaire stomps away like a scolded child. In the next few months, she'd become the skating sensation known to all as Dazzler. She's been in the game two years now... and feels like she's finally hit rock-bottom.

From here, we shift scenes to... Asgard? What!? That can't be right. Okay. Here, we see a couple of big warrior goofs stood atop the endless golden Asgardian stairwell. A man approaches after an eight day climb. He's here to meet with the Enchantress... and unfortunately for him, if he wants to see her -- he's going to have to fight his way in. And so, we fight... and he wins.

He continues his way toward the Enchantress's Chamber... so he might tell her that he is a slave to her loveliness. To thank him for the sweet words, she turns him into a tree. Welp, punishment fits the crime.

She then wanders over to the Fountain of Forever to take a peek at anything that might catch her eye Midgard-way. Something that might help her take over the entire universe, even! What she sees is... oh, c'mon... the glittering of a disco ball. She calls the disco a "glittering palace of raucous sound", which... again, c'mon. Though, in fairness, "sound" might be the kindest thing one can say about disco.

Next stop, Avengers Mansion for our next set of guest-appearances. We're a Fantastic Four sighting away from hitting BINGO, or something. Sadly, we won't be seeing them. Anyway, it's here where Beast is reading the newspaper... and sees something that really gets his attention... and so, goes to leap away... nearly crushing the poor Wasp in the process. She zaps him in the butt, because... why not, I guess?

The fracas manages to get the attention of Captain America and Iron Man, who are in the middle of moving that stuff over here... to that spot over there. Anyway, they check to see what all the hub-bub's about, and Beast apologizes for getting a bit too carried away. He then leaves, claiming that he's about to chat up a mutant he's never met before... but has always wanted to.

That mutant is, of course, Dazzler. Beast pops up outside her window, like a creep. He shows her the newspaper, which has an article about there being a sick singer... and a "disco boss" who is looking to hire a replacement. I mean, stop the presses, am I right? Oh, by the way... this is the same disco as the one seen in the Fountain of Forever... though, you probably didn't need me to tell you that.

Next we know, Alison - in full face-painted Dazzler glory - has arrived at the disco. Unfortunately for her... the Enchantress has beaten her to the punch. Since she's, ya know, the Enchantress, the "Disco Boss" is totally infatuated with her... so, it seems like a no-brainer.

He begrudgingly gives Ali the opportunity to sing... but tells her she's wasting her time. Turns out, our gal knocked his socks off! She gets the gig... much to the chagrin of the Enchantress. We wrap up with our baddie vowing revenge.

--

Okay, I'm not sure exactly what I was expecting from this... this issue managed to both meet my expectations, and surprise me. Lemme explain. Over the years, as I'd be entering the issues of this volume I'd find in the cheap-o bins into my Excel Spreadsheet... something that really jumped off the screen at me was the names of those involved in creating it. I wondered how these creators would "jive" with the young lady whose exploits they were telling. I'm sure Tom DeFalco was a much younger man than I'm assuming he was back in 1981... but, to me, he'll always be the stogie-chomping middle-aged man who appeared in those early 90's Bullpen Bulletins cartoons.

So, the idea that he'd be writing a young woman... I dunno, made me kinda furrow my brows a bit. It's kinda like reading current-year Blondie and Dagwood strips... or, I suppose most newspaper strips... you get the feeling like the people writing/drawing them are in a cave somewhere... cast in amber or something. Just outta touch, and way, way, wayyyy behind the times. There's a "charm" to them, sure... but, they aren't anything you'd recommend to anyone.

That's how I thought this was going to feel. Old, stodgy, stale, outta touch. But, surprisingly enough, I didn't get that feeling one bit! Again, DeFalco was only 30-31 when this issue hit... though, back in the long ago, 30 actually was 30. Nowadays, 50 is 30. I'm... getting off-topic. This book felt surprisingly "current", is what I'm trying to say... and, I understand that's not really high praise... but, I assure you, I am praising it! This was fun... and makes me wanna read more, which is about as high a compliment one can give to any piece of media.

This issue carried a lot of weight on its shoulders. Being the first Direct-Only book... with nearing a half million pre-sales... I suppose it should go without saying that there was a lot of pressure for it to deliver. Many of us experienced the Image boom, yes? Those suckers sold like they were going outta style (which... hrmm), but... looking back, so few of us actually talk about what those books were about. They were collectors' items masquerading as literature. This first push into the Direct Market was different. Back then, and this could be more rose-colored recollecting of a time I didn't actually live through, comics were only "valuable" to the folks who actually wanted them. I mean, as late as 1983, you could get a copy of Action Comics #1 for... $13,500! That's only $38,968.92 in 2022 bux!

Comics Collector #1 (Spring, 1983)

So, (and I admit I might be projecting) there was a lot riding on Dazzler being both a hit financially and creatively. It couldn't just be a one-n-done... and, while sales charts weren't really a "thing" just yet... maybe as we work our way through the series I'll be able to dig up some sort of evidence as to how well this book sold throughout the duration of its run. Though, as the final issue (#42) comes with the tagline: "Because YOU Demanded it -- the LAST issue of...", my hopes aren't too high.

As far as this issue is concerned though? It was fun. Star-studded (as it should'a been), an engaging (yet wildly silly) story, a telling of Ali's origin. It really is everything you might want out of a "first issue"... back when being a "first issue" actually meant something. Overall... I'd recommend this. It's a fun look at the Marvel of the day... and, armed with the knowledge of all the Direct Market drama and history surrounding it, it makes the read all that much more interesting (at least to me).

Now, as far as this reading/blogging "project" is concerned... I can't promise these'll be hitting every day. Hell, I can't even promise there'll be a "part 2"! I'm hoping for the best though. I hope you enjoyed this, as much as I enjoyed putting it together. It's not often I find myself sprawled out on the carpet surrounded by (relatively) ancient comics mags. Made me feel like a kid again!

Thanks for reading.

--

Interesting Ads:

X-Lapsed, Episode 334 - X Lives of Wolverine #4 (2022)

X-Lapsed, Episode Three Hundred Thirty-Four

X Lives of Wolverine #4 (May, 2022)
"Living Dangerously"
Writer - Benjamin Percy
Art - Joshua Cassara w/Federico Vicentini
Colors - Frank Martin
Letters - VC's Cory Petit
Design - Tom Muller
Edits - Baumgartner, Basso, White, Cebulski
Cover Price: $4.99
On-Sale: March 9, 2022

XLADOW (xladow) rolls on, and today's issue is like a collection of current-year variant covers!  You want an Omega Reddified Wolverine?  We got one!  Howsabout a Venomized one?  We got that too!  This batspit-insane event keeps trudging forward... but, seems to be stubbing its toe on tropes with every step.

And just you wait for the cliffhanger!

--

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/xlapsed

X-Lapsed Voicemail: 623-396-5375 (or, 623-396-JERK)

Twitter: @acecomics / Instagram: @90sxmen

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facebook.com/groups/90sxmen

X-Men Vignettes, Chapter Forty-Four (1990)

 

X-Men Vignettes #44 (1990)
"Her First & Last"
Writer - Ann Nocenti
Pencils - Kieron Dwyer
Inks - Hilary Barta
Letters - Joe Rosen
Colors - Glynis Oliver
Edits - Edelman, Harras, DeFalco
From: Classic X-Men #44 (February, 1990)

Somebody queue up Kenny Loggins, cuz... This is it! Today is the final chapter of X-Men Vignettes... well, sorta.

Thanks to the tip from our great friend, Chris U, I now know that there was supposed to be a back-up story in Classic X-Men #45... which, all we fake-ass X-Historians know... didn't appear there. Well, I didn't know nothin' bout any'a dat! What's more, I didn't know that the story meant for Classix #45 would eventually see print in the pages of Marvel Fanfare #60 (January, 1992)!

So, with this newfound information, I took to the mean streets, added around 150 miles to my odometer... and, came up with bupkis! Ya see, what I didn't realize about Fanfare #60 was, a) it was the final issue and evidently, rather underprinted, and b) it has Black Panther on the cover, who just so happens to be one of the more exploitable Marvel characters of current year!

So, what's a fella to do? If you've been with me for awhile, you'll be familiar with many of my hunts... the Lady Cop issue of 1st Issue Special, Vartox's appearances in the pre-Flashpoint Power Girl, DC's New Talent Showcase... there've been a bunch. Well, here's what I did... I asked one of the guys at a nearby comic shop if he might have a copy "in the back". Now, "in the back", as it pertains to comic book back issues, is a pretty nebulous locale... as it could mean several things. Maybe it's literally in the back room of the shop... maybe it's off-site not yet rotated in to the shop's stash... maybe they've got a warehouse, or at the very least a storage unit... maybe it's their own personal collection... or, maybe they'll just find it on eBay and sell it to me for twice what they paid for it? I don't ask for the specifics... cuz, honestly, it doesn't really matter to me, so long as I get the thing in my hot li'l hands.

All this to say... I'm about 85% sure that I've procured a copy of Marvel Fanfare #60. Just waiting on a call to swing in and pick it up. So, while this is the end of the Vignettes "proper", it ain't the end of our time cuttin' it up here together. Be on the lookout for the "missing" Vignette in the coming days!

Now, this does leave us with a question... it's that usual "end of a project" question. What's next?

Well, it's time for my usual "end of a project" answer... which is to say, I dunno...

What I do know is that I've gotta get back behind the mic for a bit. For folks who've been with me from the start, you'll likely be somewhat familiar with my content creation "origin story". Well, of late I've been in discussions with... and ultimately welcomed back into the Weird Science family -- where I'll be doing a bit of X-Content, including coverage of this summers A/X/E: Judgment Day crossovent. That said, I'm going to have to "get current" on "current". As it stands now, I'm around a dozen or so shows (and books) behind where X-Lapsed needs to be... and so, I gotta start spittin' again.

That's not to say we're done here... not by a longshot (and, no, I'm not about to start covering Longshot... yet). There's still plenty I wanna write about -- got some long abandoned blogging projects that may need some love and attention... and, of course, I'm always down to discuss any of the "forgotten" Vignette-y X-Men stories. We already covered a few Wolverine solo ditties from Marvel Comics Presents... maybe an X-Focused return to MCP could be our next thing?! We'll see, eh?

Anyway, that's enough vampin' from me -- thanks for joining me on this odd little trip thru the X-Men's Days of Forgotten Past... I hope you enjoyed!

--

Today's story is Rogue-centric... and it opens with her hanging out with her buddy/pal/sweetheart, Cody. Err, he's "Freddy" here, but... c'mon, we know it's Cody. Rogue plays tough... kinda like one of the boys... and just as our visit begins, she's thrown from the handlebars of CodeFred's bike. She lands gracefully, "Good as a cat", sayeth our slackjawed friend. He chases her, scoops her up... and goes to give her a kiss. Naturally, she fights him off, giving him a good judo toss to evade the lip lock. Her "mother" sees this all play out, and is not at all pleased. CodeFred tells Rogue that "Kissin's fun", before hoppin' back on his bike and pedalin' on down the road.

Mystique approaches Rogue to warn her that she's gotta be more careful. Ya know, skin-to-skin contact is kind of a no-no for her... hence the odd bodysuit she's wearing. Funny, Codefred didn't seem to care, or even notice, that his gal-pal is covered neck to toe in fabric. Anyway, rogue stomps off, claiming that she wants to play and have fun... and she's done doing "missions" with her weird parents.

On the porch, Mystique is joined by Destiny... who advises caution in how to deal with Rogue. Ya see, she's not like them... and she will leave them when it becomes clear that their Brotherhood has "darker ways" of doing business. Further, Destiny suggests that Mystique might be jealous of Rogue. Jealous of what, exactly? The uncontrollable powers that keep her isolated? The fact that she's barely a teen-ager and already has white hair? Her slackjawed boyf? I dunno...

From here we jump to a nearby cliff, where Rogue and CodeFred are taking turns defying death by swinging on some rope that's dangling over the edge. Sounds like fun, eh? Our boy once again attempts to force himself on Rogue... and gets swatted away. He's starting to become frustrated, and asks her why she won't do this one thing. Now, I know this is a "coming of age" story of romance... but, I swear "current year" must be majorly effing with my mind, cuz now I think I've been trained to see this as the early stages of a sexual assault. Oy. Anyway, CodeFred decides that he's got one last ace up his sleeve... he's going to DARE HER to kiss him. Well, he probably should'a lead with that, cuz that was all it took! Rogue plants a kiss on our boy.

And the next three pages are a collage of everything Rogue sees in CodeFred's life. His experiences, his fears, his joy... ya know, his everything. Things Rogue wanted to know... but, not the way she wanted to find it all out. She's been robbed of a proper courtship... she wanted CodeFred to share these things with her willingly... not have them (literally?) sucked out his mind.

Rogue runs off while our boy is still a bit dazed. He was kayoed for a bit, but doesn't end up in a coma. I guess that was a late addition to add a bit more trauma to Rogue's story...

From here, Rogue rushes back home... where it would appear she's had an entire change in attitude. She's suddenly gung-ho to go out on the next Brotherhood mission... and gleefully jams down a pile of chocolate chip cookies (wow, are these home-baked?). This is where we leave her... and the Vignettes project!

--

A somewhat "lighter" story to wrap up the Vignettes Initiative... especially when compared to the last few chapters, which were positively dripping with angst. I quite liked it. I feel like this hits the "sweet spot" in as far as how these backups should be treated. We're adding to a characters' backstory in a way that doesn't break any of the (then) current-day toys. It's a profound moment in Rogue's life... but, doesn't... I dunno "insist upon itself". Definitely not a day Rogue would forget... but, also not a day she'd talk everybody's ear off about. Does that make sense?

This is a story I think many of us seasoned X-Fans are at least tangentially familiar with. I mean, it even got play in the Animated Series. I think the telling might've been a little bit different -- like that her powers actually manifested at the time of the kiss... and the kiss leaving poor Cody-Freddy in a coma, but at its core, it's the same little ditty... and it's well-told.

I appreciate how Rogue's change of demeanor was presented. Having just seen firsthand what her powers can do... she kinda buries her grief and sadness. She knows that she's been robbed of an experience she was really looking forward to in learning bits and bobs about Freddy as their relationship grew and developed. She cried out in the beginning of the issue that she wanted to be "normal". Now, more than ever, she realizes that... that's just not in the cards for her. It's heartbreaking. And so, rather than dwell on it... or, at the very least not tipping off Mystique that she dun goofed -- she becomes very enthusiastic about the Brotherhood's next mission. Red flags? Sure... but, to a confused pre-teen/teen-ager, she's not thinking about any of that.

As far as the "mission" is concerned... well, since the Nocenti-Rogue story that appears in Marvel Fanfare #60 is called... "The Mission", maybe we can assume that there's more to tell? I suppose that's something we'll find out together... in, hopefully, just a few days!

Oh, last thing before we put a pin in this one -- I do wanna say that I really dug the art. I feel like it suited the story quite well.