Sheehan Titans, Episode Two - Nightwing #102 (May, 2023)
In which your humble host's inner comics cynic takes a good, hard look in the mirror!
Taking a look at Part 2 of the Dawn of DC Titans "pre-req" story, and having an uncharacteristically great time with it! Listen to me stammer on and on about how this feels like a "genuine Titans story", without being able to actually put into words what a "genuine Titans story" ought to feel like! I guess it's just one'a those things where ya know it when ya see it!
Are you currently reading, catching up on, or lapsed on the Titans? I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Nightwing (vol.4) #102 (May, 2023) "Rise of the Underworld, Part 2 of 4" Writer - Tom Taylor Art - Travis Moore Colors - Adriano Lucas Letters - Wes Abbott Edits - Berbey, Chen, Abernathy Cover Price: $4.99
I think it'd be too strong to suggest I have a "love/hate" thing with this cover... probably more apt to say I gotta "like/dislike" thing with it. Granted, it is "current year" where comic book covers have been rendered as all but meaningless... what with variants, incentives, gimmicks, and et-cetera... but, this one is kind of a peculiar case.
On one hand... I can't argue that it's quite striking! The sort of cover that, will very likely "jump off the rack" at you and force you to take notice. For that I gotta give it points. However, it doesn't actually... ya know, say anything. I dunno... I'm most certainly wasting a whole lotta effort focusing on this... buuuuut, I've been way outta writing practice for quite some time at this point, so -- why not use this very minor gripe as a way to work out the kinks, eh? Well, the most surface-level of kinks... there'll be plenty more to follow as we work our way through this ish!
So, let's do it!
*NOTE* This is a recent-ish ish... so, I'm using fewer-than-usual pics. That said, this is still going to be a "spoilery synopsis".
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We pick up at the Blüdhaven Morgue, where Nightwing (the real Nightwing), is escaping from one'a dem freezer drawers where the bodies are kept. Of course, last issue ended with our man getting THDed by a hunk of metal by The Grinning Man who had taken the form of a Vlatavian coroner. Anyhoo, with Dick free, he calls in to Oracle to get a twenty on the whereabouts of Raven and Starfire. Babs sez they were headed back to Beast Boy's palatial pad, which is troubling... since they certainly wouldn't have left without him. Nightwing asks to be patched through to Vic, who arrives lickety-split.
We shift over to Gar Logan's place... which, I'm not sure if this is supposed to be Steve Dayton's mansion, but it certainly looks like it, doesn't it? Anyway, our sweet Olivia is sleeping in one of the guest rooms, when she is woken by Nightwing... err, "Nightwing" in quotes, I suppose. He tells the girl that it ain't safe there, and they gotta beat it with the quickness. On the way out, Olivia sees that Beast Boy's been kayoed on the front steps... "Dick" tells her not to worry and keeps dragging her along. Once on the lawn, our imposter finds himself confronted by the real deal.
The pair'a Dicks have a pretty fun and contentious back 'n forth... which includes a bit where the Grinning Dick concludes that the Genuine Dick doesn't have any powers... a deduction he happens to find hi-larious (well, sadlarious, actually). The fellas fight a bit, neither really getting the better of the other. During a lull in the action standoff, our hero makes it clear to Olivia that he's the real-deal by invoking the name of his three-legged, potentially one-eyed dog, Bitewing. This leads to our sweet girl socking the hell out of the Grinning Dick from behind.
This is only a minor inconvenience for our baddie, however, as he recovers quickly... and just plain nabs Olivia and goes to fly away with her. Unfortunately for him, he just so happens to fly directly into Starfire, Raven, and Cyborg. So, uh, was Cyborg a founding member of the Justice League or not? I really don't wanna Google it for some reason... I'm almost certainly projecting but it feels like DC Comics wants me to, and I'm just being stubborn. Anyway, the Grinning Dick happily reveals to his "teammates" that, yeah -- he can fly now! Which is pretty funny.
When this doesn't work, the baddie just heaves Olivia into the horizon hoping to make his escape when the Titans naturally rush off to catch her... unfortunately for him, they don't! It's a really well done little bit of business. He's truly shocked that these heroes aren't going to try and rescue the girl... it's like he's appealing to them to do so. Of course we know Olivia isn't actually in any danger, as Donna Troy snatches the kiddo outta the sky with ease. The Grinning Dick realizes the jig up... just in time for him to take a Starfire/Cyborg "Care Bear Stare" to the chest.
The Grinning Dick is sent hurtling toward the ground, where he's met by Wally West... who TOOMs him in the mush.
From here, we get a cute scene of Olivia apologizing to a recovering Beast Boy for his getting hurt on account of her. Gar responds maturely... which, after reading pretty much every Gar Logan appearance from the 1980s up until Flashpoint, is the way I want him to act. Who-or-whatever the hell The New-52! Beast Boy is/was... that just plain sucked.
Once our Beast Boy's outta bed, it's time for the Titans to interrogate The Grinning Man. Donna employs the Lasso of Truth Persuasion to get him to spill the beans. It's just as we suspected during last issue's discussion... The Grinning Man signed over his soul to Neron in order to get his fantastical powers. Prior to that, he was a low-level baddie who called himself Disguise Master. We see him attempting to "take the form of" Superman in order to rob a bank vault. As you might imagine, this doesn't really pan out for this goof.
Oh, for those keeping track... it's at this point, we get our monthly reminder that Raven is, in fact, THE DAUGHTER OF TRIGON THE TERRIBLE. Gotta hand it to 'em, they saved this until well into the second-half of the issue!
So... with The Grinning Man mystery and threat pretty much solved, all that remains is to figure out how to get Neron to back off and leave Olivia alone. I'm not sure if I mentioned it last time, but Blockbuster, prior to his death, signed (his daughter) Olivia's soul over to Neron... which is why our Underworld pal is so hellbent (ha!) on collecting. It's explained here (by Raven) that, Neron doesn't really have much actual use for the soul of a nine-year-old girl... but, in order to appear strong to the other Lords of Hell, he's gotta follow through. It's all about posturing ya see.
Nightwing mentions that he'd really like to see this contract between Neron and Blockbuster... which causes Gar to joke about breaking into Hell and just swiping the thing from the Demon's filing cabinet. This... well, you ever been in a meeting or "problem-solving" conversation, where you make a really stupid joke in order to ease the mood? You ever make a silly suggestion... only to find that those you're chatting with think it might be "just crazy enough to work"? Yeah, that's what happening here. Much to his astonishment (and regret), Raven and the rest of the Titans think Gar's got the right idea... and so, it looks like our team is about to engage in something of a Hell Heist!
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Welp... there's two in a row!
Two extremely fun Titans stories... from the dreaded, and oft-maligned (by me) "current year"! I'm not going to lie... I'm actually a bit taken aback by this. Very surprised. Not to go too deep into my own "comics baggage", but I honestly assumed that this little "project" of mine was destined to be a one-and-done. One of my preconceptions before starting this was the knowledge that many contemporary writers attempt (and fail) at being funny. Now, perhaps that isn't completely fair... humor, like anything else creative, is subjective. Maybe it's more apt so say that I simply don't find many contemporary writers to be funny. Cringy? Yeah. Try-hard? At times. But, funny? VERY seldom.
So, I was (unfairly) expecting this to kind of fall in line with the rest of the "not for me" sort of comedy. Imagine my surprise when I started to actually feel my lip curl several times during this reading. There was (in my opinion) a lot of quality humor in this issue! Not the sort of "meta" or "too clever for comics" stuff we often see nowadays, but actual funny bits. Funny bits with heart, even! This actually (and yeah, I'm totally overusing the word "actually" today, but please bear with me... I'm not a good writer) felt like an issue of Titans.
Like I said last time out, I know very little about this Tom Taylor cat (other than the mustard-and-bigotry topped hot dog)... but, damned if he doesn't have a good handle on these characters! Sure, we are only two-issues in on this Dawn of DC (which is a really dumb name for a "new era" that picks up immediately following the last) direction, but nowadays I feel like we know if a comic's for us or not within two pages, much less a couple of issues.
What I'm trying to say here... while taking my patented overly-wordy "scenic route"... is, I enjoyed this... and I'm pleasantly surprised that I did.
Let's get into some specifics, eh?
My main takeaway, and at this point in the article, I've probably brushed up against it... or flat-out stated it, several times already... is that this feels like a Titans story. I'm still not 100% (or, hell, even 50%) clear on what's canon as it pertains to (Teen) Titans history. DC Comics seems to be keeping things nebulous... plus, I'm a bit of an idiot, who isn't always the quickest on the draw when it comes to following a story. It feels as though there's this a la carte approach at play right now... continuity feels liquid... very much "made to order". I couldn't tell you if the original Teen Titans are the ones from Brave and the Bold #54 (1964) or Titans Hunt #1 (2015). I mean, up until literally yesterday (as of this writing) I wouldn't be able to tell you whether or not Terry Long, the Red-Menace Himself, was still in continuity (Flash #799 revealed that Granny Goodness raised Robert "Lord Chaos" Long)!
Even with that said, this issue (and the one before it) felt more like a "true" Titans story than anything I'd read since the pre-Flashpoint days. We don't get a whole lot of soapiness, but what we do get feels genuine. The Titans feel like a family again (or at the very least, friends), and aren't just a bunch of surly, snarky, young heroes seemingly being forced to live and fight crime together between Instagram posts.
When I first saw the Olivia character, I was a bit worried she was going to be relegated to... what I'd usually call the "rapping grandma" sort of character. For those of you who are unfamiliar with my stupid and oblique Chris-isms, that simply means "a lazy one-note/cheap-pop character", sort of like the "rapping grandma" who we'd seemingly get a different take on like every single week on America's Funniest Home Videos back in the long ago. I figured she'd get a quippy catchphrase and be the "funny, ha-ha" of the book... and, hell... that probably says more about me and my comics cynicism than the actual book. I was quite pleased to discover that this wasn't the case at all. Olivia Desmond is a most welcome presence, and is (to this point) a fun character to have as a part of the cast. Not sure I want her sticking around forever (we've seen how things go south when the Titans are forced into the "daycare" role - D.E.O. Kids, anyone?), but for now... and for this story, I have zero issues.
We do get a bit of backstory on The Grinning Man... which was exactly what I expected it to be. That doesn't make it bad, nor contrived... it was just a piece of business that even someone as dense as me could figure out with relative ease. I gotta say, when we first met him, I wasn't too impressed... but, seeing his "true form"... just a horrid smile plastered on a featureless black head... makes for quite the striking visual! Great work here with the design!
To sum things up... and repeat myself so I can add a few more words to my word-count... this issue (and arc up to this point) was a very pleasant surprise. I'm very happy I took a chance on picking this up... and what's more, that I forced myself to actually read it (rather than just filing it away like the savage/stupid completionist I am). Next time out, we'll chat up the penultimate chapter of this pre-Titans (volume whatever we're up to) Titans story.
Sheehan Titans, Episode One - Nightwing (vol.4) #101 (April, 2023)
Long time, no see!
Welcome to brand-new awkwardly-titled Lapsed-Type-Thing, wherein your humble host attempts to regain his footing on another once-loved property he'd abandoned - The Titans!
Today, after a brief pre-ramble, we will discuss the first post-Dawn of DC issue of Nightwing (#101), along with the epilogue portion from Nightwing #100 while trying to reconcile who and what these characters are and how we got here!
Are you reading the newest Titans volume? If so, did you also read this arc in Nightwing? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Nightwing (vol.4) #101 (April, 2023) "Rise of the Underworld" Writer - Tom Taylor Art - Travis Moore Colors - Adriano Lucas Letters - Wes Abbott Edits - Berbey, Chen, Abernathy Cover Price: $4.99 On-Sale: February 21, 2023
Hmm... is this where I spend a few paragraphs writing about how "weird it feels" to try and write something again after a long break? Nah... probably not.
So, what inspired this? A "Random DC Comics Discussion and Review" on that site I started seven-some years ago to write... Random DC Comics Discussion and Reviews?! Well, a bit of trademark naval-gazing, and a trip down my own personal "rabbit hole". I took a beat this past weekend, and... during my "Chris is on Infinite Earths ReMaster Project", kind of found myself revisiting a lot of my old stuff. Lots of old... Titans stuff. The sort of stuff I used to write about... kind of a lot. It really made me stop and realize how much I missed these kids. Heck, I miss the "me" from back then too!
Can't say for certain this will be a "regular" thing... I mean, my track record for the past little while hasn't been all that hot. Honestly, as I'm sitting here writing this -- I can't say for certain I'm gonna even push "Publish". I guess we'll find out together, eh?
It's been a long while since I've been "away" from the Titans... heck, DC Comics as a whole. What's say we engage in another "Lapsed-type thing" and check out a Titanic Tale outta the pages of a recent-ish ish of Nightwing! Since this IS a recent-ish ish, I'm going to "skimp out" and try not to overload this one with pics. This piece will likely still spoil ya though.
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Ya know, before we hop into Nightwing #101... we probably ought to chat up the epilogue portion of issue #100, as it pretty much tips that first Titanic domino. Total transparency here, I've only read the epilogue of this issue... so, I can't speak to the main story, which features something of a knock-down drag-out fight between the Titans and... I wanna say, some nu-baddie called Heartless? Don't know much about this new fella, though at first blush, he looks kinda like a generic nu-character whose primary reason for existing is so speculators could buy up as many copies of and nine-point-sixify his first appearance? Boy, it's usually a bit deeper into a project where I let my inner comics-cynic out. I'll do my best to keep it reined in. Anyway, I say all'a that to set the stage for what's to come. Dick 'n the Gang save Blüdhaven (gonna have to commit that Alt-0252 puts'a that dots'a over the "u" to memory!).
As the dust settles, our hero is approached by Superman and Wonder Woman, who'd like to make him an offer. Ya see, the Justice League is no more. Again, I've been current-year-DC-lapsed since... well, several current-years ago, so I'm ignorant to all things Dark Crisis... more ignorant than I usually am about things! All's I DO know is that, well, it happened... and there's no more Justice League. Superman and Wonder Woman recognize Dick's leadership qualities, specifically mentioning something that happened during this most recent Crisis (remember like 15 years ago we had "Final" Crisis? Imagine if that actually wound up being true!). Anyway, Dick initially believes he's being invited to join the League... but, it's made clear that they want him to do something "more".
Dick's gotta think about it... and so, we shift scenes. We next join our man, stood alongside Batman at Alfred's gravesite. Huh? Alfred's dead? How long do we give it til he's back? Six months? A year? Heck, I'm talkin' out my ass right now, for all I know, he's already been dead a few years! Anyway, Dick and Bruce have a genuinely touching conversation... the likes of which I haven't seen in quite some time. Very well done.
From here, Dick's decision has been made... and we jump back over to BlALT-0252dhaven. Hmm... that doesn't look right. Anyway. Dick is joined by Babs, a dog, and a young woman (Dick's sister?) who has his same haircut. I'll better familiarize myself with these folks as we go on, I promise. Dick reveals that he's buying a prison. We leap forward a month to a Nightwing press conference, where he reveals to the people of Blüdhaven that it's time for New Guardians (not those New Guardians, thankfully)... it is, indeed, time for the Titans. Our lineup includes: Starfire, Flash, Cyborg, Nightwing, Donna Troy, Beast Boy, and Raven.
Okay, the stage is set... now, into #101!
We open in the Depths of Hellᵀᴹ, where... izzat Despero... or just some Desperoish demon? Whoever it is, it don't much matter... our Big Bad appears to be our old friend from Underworld Unleashed, Neron! Have I covered that story here? Part of me thinks I have... but, I honestly wouldn't bet a penny either way. Anyhoo, Neron chats up the demons... upset that, should he decide to attack, that Nightwing would likely turn to one of his Titans teammates, Raven. Worth noting, we made it all the way to page three before being reminded that RAVEN IS THE DAUGHTER OF TRIGON THE TERRIBLE.
We shift scenes over to Vlatava, where Neron is seeking an audience with their King. Well, that's how it looks anyway... it's actually a new baddie called the Grinning Man who's taken the form of the King of Vlatava (I swear, both times I've typed this, I started to type Latveria). Anyhoo, our Lord of the Underworld is here because he wants a favor... he's wanting to reclaim a soul that he believes belongs to him... the soul of Olivia Desmond, daughter of Roland Desmond... Blockbuster!
Speakin' a whom, we zip over to Blüdhaven, where she's playing make believe with a couple of the Titans... Raven and Beast Boy! Full disclosure, part of the reason I'm reading this is to help me reconcile and make sense of who and what our current team of Titans actually are. Last I left the (Teen) Titans (circa 2019-2020), Gar was a social media-obsessed tween, and Raven was probably 15 or 16. They both seem a bit more mature now (and Gar is missing an eye?), but I can't say for certain. Has DC Comics decided that The New-52! into the early year(s) of Rebirth aren't a thing anymore... or, am I just an idiot? Have the characters started to age in real-time... or, do we just not worry about things like linear continuity anymore? I guess we'll have to read on to find out! Anyway, Raven, Gar, and Olivia are havin' themselves a time out in the woods.
They're soon joined by Nightwing and his three-legged dog, Bitewing. That's... a sentence I don't think I could've cooked up in my wildest dreams before now. Olivia mentions that the last time she saw the pup, he was able to talk... which is a reference to another recent-ish ish, where Dick met up with his 5th Dimensional Imp, Nite-Mite... which, I did read, and it was fun.
Dick pulls Raven off to the side so they can chat about a body found in the rubble of Titans Academy. Oh boy, I forgot all about Teen Titans Academy. Bought every single issue (since I'm an idiot), haven't read a one! Maybe this'll inspire me to make right on that? Oh no, they're referencing Dark Crisis (on Infinite Earths), too?! Welp, there's another stack'a books sitting right within my reach that I never bothered to open! I tell ya, I'm not a good comic book fan.
From here, we jump over to New York to check in on the wreckage of Titans Academy. While Nightwing and one of New York's Finest talk about the logistics of digging a corpse out from under the tower, Starfire just goes ahead and does the t'ing. It's revealed that the body belongs to one... King of Vlatava, Unnamed the First!
Once the body is nyoinked, Amanda Waller works her way over to our heroes. Waitasec, she's not super thin anymore? Are we really just disregarding all The New-52! stuff? I mean, I thought most of that stuff was trash, but I'm also a guy who doesn't wanna see any continuity swept under the rug! Anyway, she's kind of a dick to Dick.
Later, we join our man con-fabbing with a Vlatavian coroner. The, err, grinning coroner reveals that King Unnamed was seen back in Vlatava two days ago... which is odd, since this body on her table has been dead for weeks! Dick turns his back to her as the continue their conversation... and gets THDed on the noggin with some sort of metal apparatus. It's revealed that the Grinning Coroner is actually the Grinning Man... who then takes on the form of our titular hero.
We wrap up with Raven, Kory, and the Grinning Dick (ew) heading back to Blüdhaven through a portal.
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Well, I'm not sure if it's just me really missing the Titans, but... ya know, I feel like there's a lot to dig here. Worth noting, there is a backup (this is a fi'dolla book, after all), but I just wanna look at (and talk about) the Titans stuff.
So, whattawegot?
The Grinning Man gimmick is one we've seen a hundred times before. I can't really fault it for being unoriginal, since it looks like it'll be necessary in facilitating the rest of this story. I might be denser than most, but the Grinning Man's relationship with Neron hasn't been made clear yet, right? I'm assuming there was a soul-swap-for-powers sort of sitch, but I could be wrong. It might could be completely apparent to everyone but me!
I feel like this issue might be a toughie for me to be completely unbiased in discussing, as it delivered in actually giving me a current-year Titans scene that didn't make me want to hurl my book across the room! It didn't "take me back" to the glory days, but it made me confident that there may be some of those ahead of us. It's so strange to me that, sometimes comics will, I dunno "withhold"... and other times, they'll over-give.
Fans of the Titans aren't a hard bunch to please. Fans of the Titans want... the Titans. I wouldn't dare speak for everybody, nor do I wanna paint with too broad 'a brush, but... I feel like we've been getting "teases"... actually, check that... more like "taunts" in how the Titans have been depicted. Flashes of the good stuff... just enough to give us hope that there's something good coming down the pike, only to absolutely fumble it. It's pretty much been that way since Flashpoint. Though, in fairness, I haven't read much in a few years now, so there might be some gold I missed?
Also... good grief, I'm back one day and I'm already bitching about Flashpoint? Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all!
I kid, I kid.
I can't say that I know enough about our writer to have many good or bad expectations. From all appearances, he seems like a cool guy. One of my best pals is a big booster of Tom Taylor, and that's good enough for me. I bought every single issue of Superman: Son of Kal-El to support his work (yes, every issue... not just the one everybody bought). I do know he wrote that scene of Nightcrawler eating a mustard and bigotry-covered hot dog, but hey... everybody has an off day, right?
I do know that he will be writing the (just barely released) new Titans series, along with the artist from the last time the Titans had a great run (in my opinion, anyway), Nicola Scott! Looking forward to checking out the rest of this Nightwing arc before jumping into Titans (a book I double-dipped on, because I couldn't wait for my mail order to come in). If the covers are any indication, I think we've got some fun stuff ahead!
The art here is pretty fantastic as well. It feels "light". I'm not sure what that even means, but it's the only adjective that comes to mind. If you're a long time (or, perhaps even... lapsed) reader of Chris is on Infinite Earths, it's very much the sort of art I'd usually refer to as "candy".
Overall, like I said... I dug this. A lot. It's not reinventing any wheels... nor does it have to. It served as a little taste as to what a current-year Titans story could (and should) look and feel like. It's not trying too hard to evoke "teen" and it's not a team full of churlish kids staring at their phones. All fun, no cringe.
I ain't a special case. If anything I'm probably a bit too "basic".
Like many young comic book fans, I dreamt of one day writing and drawing amazing stories... publishing my genius works of sequential art, and adding to the overflowingly rich industry I held so dear. Thing of it was (and is), I can neither write nor draw. You sit me down in front of a blank sheet of paper, and the only thing I'm going to add to it are speckles of nervous sweat.
I used to (and still do) lie to myself about my ability... pretending like I actually had some... all the while, concocting countless excuses to postpone actually doing anything. Rationalizing and justifying my incessant inactivity as some form of "preparing". Biding my time until everything was in place. It's a mental trap... and one I still, thirty-odd years later, can't seem to escape from.
When I first found myself captivated by comics and the glory that is storytelling via sequential art, it was as though I was struck by a bolt of lightning. The clouds parted and, sad as it may sound, my reason for living was suddenly made clear. I was put here... to tell stories, to draw... to make comics.
Only, again... I'm not very good at stuff. I could draw passably well enough... good enough for a junior high school student. I could write stories that were good... again, for a junior high school student. Only, I never put in the effort to improve. Even back then, as a know-nothing 12 year old, I was too scared to find out that I couldn't. As a know-nothing 43 year old, I still am.
And so, I made excuses for why I couldn't (and wouldn't) draw... or plot... or sketch... or, well, anything.
I borrowed half-a-copy of How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way from the public library. I say "half-a-copy", because the thing was absolutely destroyed when I found it. Pages missing, cover held together with masking tape. It was one of the very few comic-related books on the shelf... as such, I'm sure it got a lotta love over the years. I borrowed the book in hopes that I'd learn something... all it did was give me even more ammunition (as if I needed any) for putting off actually trying.
Unsatisfied with the few pages that were included in this dilapidated tome, I told myself that... if I was to be serious about this dream, I'd need to buy my own copy... a complete copy. As if the "real secrets" to becoming a true comic book creator were only on those missing pages. Problem was, How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way carried a price tag of... thirteen dollars. As a poor kid, who might get lunch money once or twice a week... who already earmarked those funds for actual comics... thirteen bucks may as well be a hundred.
It took some time, but I would finally save up the cash. I remember trudging down Sunrise Highway to the Bassett Books (before Borders took them over) to make my big, would-be life-changing purchase.
My water-damaged copy of How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way[/caption]
I tell ya what... I absolutely tore through this book. Reading it over and over again until I could pretty much cite it chapter and verse. I learned how many "heads" tall Reed Richards is... what Hank Pym's "ant's-eye view" might look like... ya know, all that stuff. The sort of stuff that was meant to help the reader improve in their craft. My problem was (and still is), these weren't the pages I focused on.
The pages my stupid ass became enamored with were... these:
The "tools". The things I'd convinced myself I absolutely needed to own before I even put pencil-to-paper. I didn't realize it then (or maybe I did), but the trap was set. A trap that, thirty-plus years later, I still can't escape from. I made my "shopping list", and as this was before the days of wider-internet... I had to resort to making phone calls to local art supply stores I found in the yellow pages to price out these "gotta have" items. Almost feels like I keep adding unnecessary steps to this process, doesn't it? What's so hard about dragging a friggin' #2 pencil across a piece of notebook paper? Why should my lack of tools stop me from writing a script? Why couldn't I bring myself to DO IT? To do ANYTHING? Why can't I do anything... even today?!
The thing with art supplies, and I'm not blowing any minds here, they were (and are) pricy. Especially when you've convinced yourself that only the best supplies would suffice for your artistic vision and goals. You might think that, in finally purchasing these supplies, that I'd be able to bring myself to, ya know... drag a mother-effing pencil across a piece of paper... but, you'd be wrong. Ya see, when one buys a (relatively) expensive "tool of the trade", it's sort of intimidating. Especially when you're as creatively limited and untalented as your humble host. You (or I) become afraid that I'm going to, I dunno "misuse" the $5 pencil. At least that's what you might tell yourself.
The truth is... and, this is where the "trap" widens a bit... when I'd doodle in class, using a garbage pencil and lined spiral notebook paper... I could kind of, I dunno, "excuse away" any lack of quality. After all, I was using sub-par tools, and doodling only when the teacher wasn't looking in my direction... so, if whatever I was drawing looked crappy, it wasn't an actual indictment on my "talent".
But... now that I have the proper gear... if my work still sucked, I could no longer blame my tools. Does that make sense? I spent the entirety of my high school years with an empty sketchbook (several empty sketchbooks)... and (relatively) pricy pens that all but dried out before I even bothered to run 'em across a piece of paper.
But, ya know what? Kids are fickle with their interests... and, might have a penchant for losing focus... especially when it comes to "putting in the work". Not trying to make a blanket statement, per say... perhaps I'm just trying to make my own lazy ass feel better about squandering so much time.
What happens when the wannabe artist/writer/creator becomes a young adult?
Well, in most cases... they truly begin to explore their creative passion, and start making things happen. In my case... well, I bought a gigantic drafting table (like almost cartoonishly big), a bunch of art how-to books, and had the same blank piece of Bristol masking-taped up ready to be drawn on... forrrrr, probably two years. For me, it was almost as though appearing to be an artist (by having all the cool/expensive art shit) would somehow make me one.
When I finally caved in and tried drawing something... it became painfully clear to me that, I hadn't improved since junior high school... which, totally stood to reason, since I hadn't practiced at all since then. Thing was, I was now in my early-20s... having wasted near a decade of my formative years on pipe dreams, fear, "playing the part", and inaction.
I made the difficult... well, maybe not-so difficult, decision to move away from art... to focus my "talents" on the other side of the table... writing. Only, I ain't good at that either! Okay, I'll give myself a bit of uncharacteristic credit. I think I can be a decent "idea guy"... I've got some ideas that I feel have potential... it's just that, turning those ideas into stories... with a world, characters, and dialogue... is something that reaches far beyond my limited talent.
What's more... some unknown writer trying to break into the comics industry has a far tougher time than an unknown artist. Art kind of speaks for itself. At a glance, you can tell whether or not an artist has talent, skill, or just plain "it". A writer though? Well, if you're a writer trying to get noticed... you need to actually get people to read the words you're spitting out. As someone who has spit out a couple of million on this very website, trust me when I say, that's far easier said than done. And so, this "writer only" deal proved to be a short-lived diversion/distraction.
If I wanted to actually do this... I'd need to stop being a punk, and draw something.
But what?
I didn't know then... and, I still don't today.
And so, I went back to faking it (to myself) til I made it (which I never did). I bought even more art how-tos... I started buying things like SKETCH, Comic Book Artist, DRAW! and Write Now! Magazines thinking they'd cause something to finally "click" in my head... or, maybe that I'd one day hit that tipping-point, where I realized how much money I was spending on these "tools" without even a single panel of art to show for it.
The only things these magazines did was... add to my shopping list. I think it was in an issue of SKETCH where I learned that George Perez used a 0.03 pencil and would usually sketch out pages using a lap-board. I also learned how a lot of pros used blue lead for initial layouts. Ya know, I'd never compare myself to any actual comics pro, let alone comic book royalty like George Perez... but, damned if my stupid ass didn't spend weeks scouring the city looking for a 0.03 mechanical pencil. I got to keep up the illuuuuusion of being a "creative" while not actually creating anything. After all, it wasn't myfault that a damned 0.03 pencil was so hard to track down!
But, it wasn't just the art tools that kept me inactive. It was also, of all things, finding the "right" notebook. Now, if you'll pardon my preciosity and pretension... it was in an issue of Write Now! where I learned that... well, I can't remember which writer it was (might've been Bendis... but, don't quote me), used a Moleskine notebook for their scripts and notes. Not just any Moleskine (which was already a not-so-easy to track down - and also quite expensive notebook), but a specific, I dunno, "model" of Moleskine (which I can't remember the specifics of). And so, it went on the never-ending shopping list... and I wasted more time and money procuring one than I'd like to admit... though, I suppose I kinda just did.
Around this time, I was approaching my mid-20s... and I made a "deal" with myself... wherein, if I didn't have anything done by the time I turned 25, I would give up. And, lemme tell ya... in those final months leading up to my twenty-fifth birthday I... well, I didn't actually do anything... but, I thought about it an awful lot. Well, that's not entirely true... I did draw a LITTLE bit... enough to where, I was able to print up my own two-sheet "ashcan" of some very lazy work. I also spent $500 on a "tabloid-sized" scanner so I could digitize my work!
I deemed this sad, last-ditch attempt a failure. And so, at the ripe old age of 25, I pulled the plug. It was honestly more of a relief than anything. I focused on my day job... and kind of resigned myself to living a life where I didn't actually create anything. Where I didn't try and leave a mark.
I'd dabble a bit here and there... did a NaNoWriMo before I turned 30. But, that was the extent of my creative output... if I can even call it that. Then I spent the better part of a decade writing and talking about the works of actual creative people. I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again: "Those who can... do. Those who can't... review."
So, why in all hells am I sharing this?
Well, as I sit here today... it's as though I've been shifted back to my early 20s. I'm not an old man by any stretch, but I can't help but to feel as though life is rapidly passing me by. I'm in a position now where I can dedicate more and more time to creative pursuits... and, with my wonderful wife's support and blessing, decided to give it one more "go".
But... I still find myself in the same trap.
It's been every bit of 20 years since I last sat down to draw... and, while "art" in and of itself hasn't changed... the way in which art is made has. Everything's easier now... but, also so much harder. If I were afforded the current-year perks back when I was starting out... well, I probably still wouldn't have done anything, but -- had I actually decided to? It would have been SO much easier. Every art supply one might need is part of drawing software. Self-publishing is just an upload... not scanning a page (usually in pieces), saving to a disc, and running down to Kinko's where you'd pay for every single sheet to be printed.
With all these "current year" perks... I once again found myself focusing more on the "shopping list" than actual creation. Ordered myself a pretty bad-ass (and wildly overpriced) "artist" laptop... which, nearly a year later, I'm still far too intimidated to actually use. Bought some bad-ass (and overpriced) artist software... which, goes on sale like twice a year... so, I "had to" wait about six months before pulling the trigger on. Similarly, found some highly-regarded writing software (which was reasonably priced... but, does go on deep discount a couple times a year) that I had to wait for. Months just keep piling up... while my productivity remains at zero.
It's pathetic. Seeing all of this written out here for the first time... what's my problem?
I used to think I had a "fear of failure"... I'm starting to realize that's not true at all. I now understand that... I'm scared that I can't even manage to fail. Failure would be a wonderful option at this point... it would certainly beat the hell out of inactivity and procrastination. And, I say this as someone who's spent the past two and a half hours writing this sad-sack journal entry in lieu of actually "creating" anything.
Anyway... brain-dump over (for now). Thank you for reading.
Been a bit busy with "da real life" and, to be completely honest, quite directionless creatively... even more so than usual. While I'll admit it's been rather refreshing to step away from the mic and keyboard for a beat, I can't seem to shake the nagging feeling that I should be, ya know, doing something (at least somewhat/tangentially) creative. On some level, every day I'm away feels like a failure.
While Chris is on Infinite Earths and X-Lapsed eventually evolved into things I actively dreaded having to do, they were still a teeny-tiny little mark I could leave on each and every day. Something I could point to and assure myself I "existed". Good or bad... popular or ignored, it was still something.
In an attempt to not completely abandon this creative outlet, I have been half-assed "remastering" old posts over the past few weeks. The transition from Blogger to Wordpress was not a "clean" one. Many of my migrated posts are janky jigsaw-versions of the originals... fonts and sizes are all over the place, images are repeated or just plain missing... many posts didn't migrate over at all, while others migrated multiple times! The deeper I dug into the archives, the more cluster-frigged it all looked. It honestly left me wondering if there was any saving it... or, if saving it was even worth the time investment.
One of the things about going through one's own archives, is that you get to see yourself... your words, your takes, your format evolve (or, perhaps even devolve) over time.
One of my goals in starting my own little blogging/podding corner of the internet was to create "evergreen" content... evergreen, or as close to evergreen as possible. For awhile, a pretty long while, I think I was successful (at least in concept) in doing just that. I was discussing comics in a way that my little articles could be read at any time and still be... I dunno, enjoyed? On the pod-front, Reggie and I were putting out, for lack of a better term, weekly audio documentaries. Heavily-researched, largely "evergreen" content... discussing seminal (and lesser known) moments in comics history on a very deep level.
Then along came X-Lapsed.
After Reggie's passing, I felt like I needed to do something "different". I didn't feel right about continuing anything that might in any way resemble the Cosmic Treadmill or Weird Comics History. I still wanted to discuss comics, I still needed to... but, it couldn't be in our old format. The 'Mill and WCH were (and are) sacred to me.
And so, X-Lapsed became my "brand". And my "work" went from evergreen content that could be listened to/read at any time to ephemeral fluff that could (and would) be forgotten about as soon as it's been consumed.
I went from putting out documentaries, to hosting The Tonight Show... opening monologue and all!
But not justThe Tonight Show. It was The Tonight Show... with insane continuity and zero good "jumping on" points! It became a show where, if you missed an episode... it didn't matter. If you missed a week of episodes... you probably didn't need to bother coming back at all. It was ephemeral... only "important" in the moment, and even then... largely forgettable. Add to that my inimitable vocal talent and natural charisma... and, that's one helluva recipe for disinterest.
Over the years of X-Lapsed-ing, I feel like I kind of "lost my way". My creative outlet became a rut... and, a "job". I found myself caught in a trap of my own design... unable to indulge in (or enjoy) anything not having to do with an "X". I'd forgotten how to read comics for fun. I'd just plain lost the ability to. Every comic I read had to be a "multitasker". I robbed myself of one of the very few things in the world I actually enjoy... which isn't a good place to be.
Now, I want to make it clear. I don't regret X-Lapsed. I'll admit that for a little while I did resent it... but, I don't regret the thousands of hours (and dollars) I've dedicated to the project. It's still a massive "body of work" to be at least somewhat proud of... impenetrable as it may be.
Not sure what's next. I still have that voice in my head nagging at me daily that I really ought to be doing something "creative"... just, at this point, I'm not really sure what that might wind up looking like. Hopefully it's nothing as cringy or self-indulgent as this post!
Anyway. Just a bit of a mind-dump here to clear out some cobwebs. Thanks for reading.
X-Men #48 (September, 1968) "Beware Computo, Commander of the Robot Hive!" "Yours Truly, the Beast" Writer - Arnold Drake Pencils - Don Heck & Werner Roth Inks - John Tartaglione Letters - Irving Watanabe Edits - Stan Lee Cover Price: 12¢
How can we miss the X-Men if they never go away?
Today we wrap up the "split-up era" for our Uncanny Heroes... just an issue after we kicked it off! This time, we're hanging out high in the desert mountains of New York City with Cyclops and Marvel Girl while they face off with a reject Fantastic Four baddie! It's not ALL bad though, once we get through with our lead feature, we get to watch Hank McCoy write with his feet for a few pages!
There's still the Mutant Mail-Box, the Bullpen Bulletins, and Stan's Soapbox gets relevant! All that, plus some discussion and interview notes about Gary Friedrich and Arnold Drake's little discussed time with the World's Strangest Teens!
