'Mazing Man #1 (1987)

'Mazing Man #1 (January, 1987)
Writer - Bob Rozakis
Penciller - Stephen DeStefano
Inker - Karl Kesel
Colorist - Nanci Hoolahan
Letterer - Bob Lappan
Editor - Bob Gold
Cover Price: $0.75

What is 'Mazing Man?  Well, he is a pint-sized delusional do-gooder, who often occupies the quarter-bins of many a local comics and books establishment.  My history with the character is brief, however this is a series I always keep my eye out for when trawling the bins.  I remember learning several years back that issue #12 of this series features an amazing cover by Frank Miller depicting 'Mazing Man, Dark Knight Returns Batman, and Carrie Kelly Robin all jumping into action.  I have yet to see this comic book in person, however, it is always on my radar.

When DC Comics started their DCYou initiative last summer (2015), featuring such offbeat titles as Bizarro, Prez, and Bat-Mite, I almost expected to hear an announcement about a 'Mazing Man re-imagining.  Sadly, it was not to be.  So, are his initial exploits worth your time?  Let's find out.

--

In the first of this issue's two stories, we join Denton the Writer who looks like a dog and his best friend 'Mazing Man (Maze for short).  Denton provides the narration for the goings on here, and it's really quite entertaining... he says 'Mazing Man thinks he's a superhero.  'Mazing Man's costume consists of a gold almost Galactus-style helmet, a golden cape, and he naturally wears his polka-dot boxer shorts on the outside of his suit.

As they enter a neighborhood park, Maze spies a toddler about to put a cigarette butt in his mouth.  Maze pounces into action, and saves the child.  A nearby gaggle of housewives, including the mother of the almost-butt-eater, all patronize Maze for his heroic act.  They talk him up, much to the surprise of an uninitiated housewife who is not sure what to make of Maze.  They clue her in that he is the "neighborhood looney-tune" who "runs around doing good deeds".

Is this suggestive?
I feel like this is suggestive...
No?  Just me?

Continuing on, Maze and Denton encounter a "young felon" who is attempting to steal a watch.  Maze stands in front of the young man to halt his escape.  The man trips over our hero, and the two roll and tumble into a nearby garbage can.  Local law enforcement, Sergeant Muldavey is present and arrests the young thief.  Pulling Denton aside, Sarge comically expresses concern that 'Mazing Man is perhaps a bit too crazy to be out in public.  Denton questions Muldavey's own sanity by informing him that he is in fact speaking to a dog.

As they walk away, Denton tries to have something of a heart to heart with 'Mazing Man.  He tries to bring him back to reality by telling him that everyone around him thinks he's crazy.  Maze isn't hearing it... he says the people have the right to believe whatever they want about him.  He won't let that change who he is, because, after all... it's his job.

As they continue, Maze catches a glimpse of that same almost-butt-eating child sitting in the street, directly in front of an oncoming truck.  Against Denton's advice, Maze heads straight to the child... saving the boy in the very nick of time.  Denton can now see that 'Mazing Man truly is a hero.

Guido oozes machismo
... and hair grease.

Our second tale begins with Denton and Maze arriving back at their brownstone apartment building for the late afternoon.  We meet Mrs. Costinas, who much to their surprise greets them with two grunts this fine day, which they take as a sign of her becoming friendlier.  Inside we meet their downstairs neighbor, Guido Antonio Garibaldi who suffers from the incurable disease: terminal macho.

Upstairs we run into Denton's human step-sister, Katherine Patricia (K.P. for short) who is a dental receptionist, a recent divorcee, and acts as something of a mother to Maze and the dog-faced Writer.  She's all dressed up for a date.  Denton tells her that he and Maze also have plans that evening, to dine with their friends Eddie and Brenda Valentine.

Over at the Valentine's, Brenda is none to pleased to find out she is expected to cook for the boys.  The two quarrel, and Brenda tries to call Denton to cancel their plans.  There's no answer, so she knows they're stuck.  She asks Eddie how they ever got involved with 'Mazing Man, and we are headed for a flashback.

During Eddie's first day as Assistant Bank Manager, he arranged it so his friend Denton would send someone in to open an account.  This would make him look good to Mr. Vanderplatz, his boss.  Unknown to Eddie, Denton would be sending 'Mazing Man.  Eddie asks how he knows Denton, and it is revealed they met in the Psychiatric Ward in the hospital.  Maze thinks it was "on a couch somewhere".  Vanderplatz checks up on their encounter, finds it all going swimmingly, and then trips over Maze's cape.

Back in the present, the Valentines argue about sneakers in the sink, and ultimately wind up chasing each other around before winding up atop one another.  They embrace and kiss, until there's an unfortunate (though expected) ringing at the door.  Maze and Denton have arrived, and luckily for the Valentines, they have brought a bucket of chicken with them.  The four sit down to dine, and we are [out].

--

Such a strange and fun issue.  I honestly never would have grabbed a single issue of this book if I didn't know about the Frank Miller cover later on.  I figured, it's only 12 issues (with a couple of "specials") so why not just grab the lot of 'em?  I'm glad I did, as this was some pretty good stuff.

Humor comics can be pretty hit or miss... this one does have a miss here and there, however the amount of hits is well worth at least a flip through.  The writing is a lot of fun, and I was surprised by the amount of heart the characters had (especially Maze himself).  The art is a great blend of cartoony and comic booky.  Not so comic booky that the cartoony aspects look out of place, and not too cartoony to make the book look like a cheap cartoon adaptation.  It's like a cartoon done in house style, if that makes any sense.

Definitely worth snagging if you come across it on the cheap.  This to my knowledge has not been collected, and it is not available digitally... so we're talking single issues only here.  Grab 'em if you see 'em, won't cost you much... and they're great fun.

--

Interesting Ads (mostly Ninja edition):

I'm a Third-Degree Marshall

Once you get your Marshall Arts gifts and goodies, you can join the society!

Once you are a Marshall, and join the society you will be able to answer this question.

Turn on my friends... AND MYSELF?
Somebody get me a mirror!

Major Bummer #1 (1997)

Major Bummer #1 (August, 1997)
"What the Hell...?!"
Writer - John Arcudi
Penciller - Doug Mahnke
Inker - Tom Nguyen
Colorist - Carla Feeny
Letterer - Willie Schubert
Editor - Peter Tomasi
Cover Price: $2.50

I know we more cultured comic book enthusiasts generally roll our eyes in highfalutin disinterest when the subject of Wizard magazine comes up, but for a time (pre-widespread Internet, natch) it really was the place to get most of your comics news.  Wizard, for me was the thing I'd grab if somehow at the end of the month I still had a five-dollar bill burning a hole in my pocket.  It was something of a luxury purchase, and perhaps because of that poor young impressionable comics enthusiasts put a bit more stock into Wizard's recommendations than they otherwise would.

Sometimes their suggestions would be a bust, as illustrated by the ubiquity of early nineties Image Comics currently clogging quarter-bins nationwide... other times, their recommendations would be great.  Wizard was the first place I'd ever seen mention of Strikeforce: Morituri, and Quantum & Woody, after all.  Those two series remain favorites of mine to this day.

Another book they had given a bit of a push to was the one I want to discuss today... Major Bummer.  In 1997, I was 17 years old... a book about a slacker superhero should be right up my alley.   Is it worth your time?  Let's find out.

--

Louis Martin is a slacker.  That's really all we know about him from the get-go, he also likes video games.  He receives a mysterious package which, upon opening transforms him into a musclebound technologically-gifted would-be superhero.  Interestingly, this is all unknown to Lou for much of this opening issue.

The next morning, he finds that he has woken up late for work at Kathie's Video Repair.  We are introduced to a ramshackle street gang who is bent on procuring Corn Nuts from the local convenience store, I'm assuming there will be more on that (and them) later on.

While repairing a VCR unit, Lou gets lost in thought.  Before he knows it, he has re-purposed the VCR into a ray gun.  His boss, Mr. Kathie arrives and fires him for his excessive tardiness.  Upon seeing what Lou has become, Kathie freaks out and runs out of the shop.  Slump-shouldered, Lou leaves... ray gun in tow.  While walking down the sidewalk, Lou catches a glimpse of his reflection and sees what he has become.  He's determined to figure it all out... after he grabs a bite to eat.

We meet another odd gang, who decides to trade in a half-million dollar heist at a bank for an $83 robbery at the convenience store.  They decide to rob the very convenience store where Lou is attempting to write a check in exchange for a pile of snack cakes.

Lou thwarts the robbery, although the store is destroyed in the fracas.  He tries to parlay saving the clerk's life into some free goodies, and is turned down.

When Lou gets home he is surprised to find four curiously dressed individuals hanging out in front of his building.

They tell him they are a team of super-powered heroes, who were all drawn to his home.  They claim that he is to be their leader.  Lou wants none of it, and tells them to split.  He enters his apartment and is greeted by...

.. and we are [to be continued...]

--

Now, at release I bought issue #1, which remains the only one in my possession.  I have to figure that it must not have made that big of an impression on me.  It's strange, as this feels as though it would have been exactly the kind of book I would have been in the market for back then.  It was offbeat, and different from anything else I'd seen at the time.  I'm not sure how a 17 year-old me would have lost track of this one.

Upon reading it now... It's pretty good and it looks nice, however, I still have no interest in seeing how it plays out.  I really don't want to say that I'm too old for this type of story, perhaps it just takes me back to a time in my life that I've outgrown (yeah, odd for a dude in his mid-thirties who still reads comics everyday to say...).  I can't think of anything outright bad to say about this book, just that I'm really not interested in it.

I'm absolutely sure there's an audience for it, and they will think it's great.  It's quite well-written, and the art is wonderful.  A bit of a product of its time, perhaps... but, still certainly to be enjoyed.

This came from what I consider to be an odd time at DC Comics.  It felt like a very experimental time, where DC was producing creator-owned books (such as this) which could be folded into DC canon (like say, Young Heroes in Love).  I may be mis-remembering my dates here, but it felt as though there were a lot of new more experimental #1's around this time.  Titles like Chronos, Chase, Resurrection Man and Scare Tactics feel as though they are part of this vintage.  Very strange and interesting era for DC.

This is one title that I have not come across "in the wild".  I can honestly say I've never seen it in the bins.  If you were interested in checking it out, it isn't terribly expensive at Mile High Comics.  If you want the entire 15-issue story collected, The Complete Major Bummer Super Slacktacular was released as a trade in 2011, from Dark Horse Comics.  Instocktrades currently has it (at 42% off cover price to boot).  It is also available digitally.

--

Interesting Ads (Batman & Robin Edition):

It's hard to remember a time when it seemed like every movie had its own trading card set.
(unless of course, they still do that... I dunno)
These appear to be those horrendous odd-sized cards to boot.
My mother once accidentally bought me a package of card-binder pages in that size.
It's difficult to let such trauma go.

 

Batman Forever was my last Bat-movie...
I regret nothing.

Just a tad bit on the nose there, no?

[Bin Beat] Sickly Saturday

What could keep a back issue fiend like me away from his semi-regular hunting schedule?  Certainly not the flu, that's for sure!

Personal bit here... my wife is a school teacher, and from time to time she brings home something given to her from her students.  Sometimes it's candy and chocolates, sometimes it's stuffed toys, flowers, and coffee mugs... and sometimes it's bronchitis and conjunctivitis.  Last week our home turned into a tissue and cough drop wrapper infested mess.  She fell ill first and despite our best efforts, managed to pass it along to me.  Come the weekend, we were both feeling a bit better and she had some business to attend to across town.  So I figure... what the hell, we don't drive that far out too often, maybe I'll hit some bins while we're out.

After all, what better thing to do as you're recovering from illness than dredge through filthy used comic books?  Was it worth my while?  Well, let's see...

--

Our first stop was the Half Price Books that we did not visit during their Valentine's Day coupon sale.  This shop is probably 50 or so miles from home, and offers the most frustrating and convoluted comic book section of any store I'd ever visited.  I've been to garage sales with more organized comic book "sections".  While flipping through their quarter piles... yeah, piles... they have a few shelves with just piles of ragged and falling apart comics.  Anyways, while flipping through the piles, I got excited to find a decent cache of Gen13 issues from toward the end of their first ongoing series.  I snapped them up, and then realized they were all tagged at $8.00 each... in the quarter books area.  Lame.

There were a couple of "New Format" books from the 80's I would have grabbed, however... and here's a word to the wise... the yellow "Clearance" HPB price tags just love to take some of the cover art with them when you remove them from the book.  Never buy DC "New Format" books that have a price tag on their covers.  I'd been burned by that a time or two, and not like I am buying these for their pristine condition or re-sell-ability... I just really don't want any books in my collection to have chunks of art gouged off their covers.

That having been said, I did not leave empty handed.  I grabbed the last issue of New-52 Superman that I needed... so there's one monkey off my back.  Also found New Titans #92, which I discovered I didn't actually have during my last Titans read through.  They were not priced, so they were half-cover price.  Glad to have plugged that hole.

On our way home, we stopped at the same used bookstore we went to a few weeks earlier.  I wasn't expecting much, as I'd cleaned them out during our last visit.  Much to my surprise, in the 40-cent area they added a whole bunch of Green Lantern.  I was able to complete my Green Lantern volume 4 (pre-Flashpoint) run, which was one of the casualties of my mid-2000's mortgage-fueled comics purge, so I'm glad to have finally wrapped that one up.

DCBS Delivery!

Was surprised to find an issue of Green Lantern: Mosaic that I didn't have (#18)... Now I just need issue #12 to have the set.  Had a couple of finds from Titans vol.1... down to just 2 more issues of that run for the set.

Upon returning home I was surprised to find that this week's DCBS order delivered a few days earlier than expected.  I've been using Discount Comic Book Service since around the time of the New-52, and think they are fantastic.  There's no way I'd be able to keep up with these books otherwise...



--

That's about it.  Fairly productive outing, as I continue to gear up for that mythical time in the future where I will have all the time in the world to read through my collection.  Knowing me, if that time ever came... I wouldn't even know where to start!

Thanks for reading.

Flash (vol.2) #1 (1987)

Flash (vol.2) #1 (June, 1987)
Writer - Mike Baron
Penciller - Jackson Guice
Inker - Larry Mahlstedt
Letterer - Steve Haynie
Colorist - Bob Gifford
Editor - Mike Gold
Cover Price: $0.75

With the DC Comics Rebirth announcement still fresh in my head, I decided to revisit an old favorite.  The Wally West Flash was the Flash that I grew up with.  I was quite disappointed when he (well, this version) didn't find his way into the New-52.  It's hard to forget this Wally, as he has ties to the Speedster family, the Justice League, and the Teen Titans.  I was excited to see an image featuring, not only Wally, but the very issue I want to discuss today during Geoff Johns' introduction to Rebirth video, and I am hopeful that perhaps come this summer DC will have filled that Wally-sized hole that has been in the fabric of their universe for the past half-decade.

I started reading the Flash because of my younger brother.  I had always been a Marvel guy, reading mostly the X-Men family of titles.  My brother wanted a superhero book to follow for himself (he was probably just barely of reading age at the time).  I went to one of our local shops (this was the mid-90's, we had A LOT of local shops), and found like a two-pack of Flash comics (Messner-Loebs run) and a used Flash action figure for a couple of bucks.  I grabbed them, thinking if he didn't dig the comics, at least he got a toy.

I eventually decided to read them, and found myself really enjoying them.  This was several years later, and by then we were a few issues into the Geoff Johns run on the title.  I snagged up what I could, and got hooked.  I have been reading the Flash ever since.

--

It's Wally West's 20th birthday, and the Teen Titans along with his girlfriend, Fran have planned a surprise party for him.  Wally is already well aware that this is going down, however plays along for their benefit, by leaving his apartment while they set everything up.  While he was out, he picked up some lottery tickets and a handful of candy bars.  This was something I always enjoyed about the Flash, it would stand to reason that he should be eating almost constantly to keep up with his metabolism.  This doesn't often come up anymore, but I'm glad it is here (even at the party he is shown eating a pile of hamburgers).

Chitlins and Gravy indeed, Vic.

Wally receives an emergency call from St. Mary's Children's Hospital.  They need a heart transplant delivered immediately, and know that the Flash is their only hope for successful and expedient transport.  The heart will travel from Manhattan to Seattle, and must arrive within five hours.  Wally takes the job under the condition that he receive health insurance.  He would do transports for them as long as they cover his medical bills.  He also requests a plane ticket home.  Of late, the Flash can only run at a maximum speed of 705 miles per hour, and that is with a struggle.

This is definitely one of those moments that illustrates that we are no longer dealing with the Barry Allen Flash.  Wally wants to do good, however, will make sure he still takes care of himself in the process.  Wally makes mention to hearing "muttering" from the hospital staff in regard to his requests... Certainly they never had to worry about any conditions from Barry.  Having Wally be somewhat less than altruistic at the get-go also allows the reader to watch as he grows and matures into what he becomes throughout this volume.

We join Wally on his cross-country trek.  He is reflecting on his predecessor's recent passing... even mentioning the money Barry owed in legal bills from the spanning "Trial of the Flash" story line that ate up the last few years of the Flash's first volume.  In Wyoming, Wally witnesses a man being beaten.  In another interesting use of speed dynamics, it takes an additional twenty miles for the image to fully register in his head.

He returns to the scene to find a man.  Most of his major bones are broken and he is writhing in the snow.  He tells the Flash that he is a private investigator tracking down a man named Varney Sack.  He tracked him down, only to find that Varney was in actuality Vandal Savage.  Still prowling nearby, Savage strikes.  Wally attempts a counter-attack, and Savage vanishes.

In a nearby town, Wally informs local law enforcement of the P.I. laying wounded.  They ask him to escort them out there and he refuses, as he still has to deliver the heart.  The police don't believe him, going as far as threatening to lock him up.

Wally's on the road again, now crossing the Rockies.  Vandal Savage's name is still ringing in his mind.  He passes a semi-truck that had been just turned on its side.  He cannot afford to stop and help, he must get that heart to Seattle.

Wally arrives at the Hospital to deliver the heart... and passes out.  He remains asleep for 17 hours.  He is informed that the operation was a success.  He heads to a local McDonald's (actually a McDonald's) to re-up his caloric intake before returning to the hospital to visit the heart transplant patient.  She is Eugenie Hegstrom, a writer.  Flash recognizes her from books he's read on European History.  He asks her if she had ever heard of Vandal Savage.  Savage is something of a legend, a myth.  His existence has not been confirmed.  Eugenie tells Flash what she knows about Vandal's lore, while Wally helps himself to a pound of mixed chocolates.

Wally catches his flight home, and wouldn't you know it... an attempted hijacking occurs.  Wally quickly beats up the aggressors, and returns to his seat.  During the fracas, Wally sprains his hand.  When he returns to New York, he visits St. Mary's for an x-ray cashing in on his favor from earlier.

Upon returning to his apartment, he turns on the television.  It is time for tonight's lottery numbers to be called, and we come to find that Wally West is now a millionaire.  Out of the corner of his eye, Wally spots a gift on the table he hadn't noticed before.  He opens the gift only to find that it contains a human heart.

A nearby lamp is turned on... Vandal Savage is here.  He tells Wally to put on his costume, because "live as the Flash, die as the Flash." and we are... [to be continued...]

--

This is a very interesting way to launch a series.  Wally West was one of those characters who did not seem to lose much of his history due to Crisis on Infinite Earths.  He is still the former Kid Flash and former Teen Titan.  Barry Allen's Flash still existed, still went on trial Pre-Crisis, and still perished during the Crisis.  That having been said, this issue did a fine job of giving the reader a good idea of just how different this version of the Flash would be.

No respect...

Wally is not Barry.  It was because (and through) Wally that I got into the Barry stories.  Barry Allen was depicted as something of a saint during this run.  He was the ideal that Wally would find himself struggling to keep up with... and that worked.  This Flash is not perfect, and is not respected.  During this very issue he is referred to as "Kid Flash" several times.  He has large shoes to fill, and an steep climb ahead of him if he is to be viewed in the same light as Barry.  This is such a fun series to follow, as Wally does mature and does grow into his role.

Definitely one to check out, especially if Rebirth delivers this character back to us.  It's available digitally for $1.99 and does pop up from time to time in the cheap-o bins.  I found my copy about 10 years ago for a dollar, and have seen it at that price and cheaper many times since.

--

Interesting Ads:

They Will Answer!
Can you imagine getting a letter from (a dude pretending to be) Justine Bateman?

While I was growing up, there were no red M&M's
If kids at my school are to be believed, it's because they were made of COCAINE.
Trust me, one of their uncles works for Nint... er, M&M's.

DC Comics Rebirth - Preliminary Thoughts

Although I normally focus on (relatively) older DC Comics, I figured I may as well join in the chorus of Rebirth announcement takeaways.  No real rhyme or reason to these ramblings, just emptying out my head.

--

I guess I'll start with my two biggest surprises that came from this announcement.  First, the return to legacy numbering for both Action Comics and Detective Comics, which will resume their pre-Flashpoint numbering this June (Action Comics #957, Detective Comics #934).  I know that in the grand scheme of things, this should not be a big deal... but, it is... to me anyway.  Really can't explain it to eloquently, it just makes the title feel more, I don't know... alive, to me.  I am a big back issue guy, and it was always more satisfying picking up books for a series that still had its "real" numbering.  Being able to reflect back, knowing that in June when I pick up issue #957 of Action Comics it has a history going back over 75 years... just feels right.  

This was actually on my post-Convergence wish list.  I was hoping these two titles would return to their real numbering, and follow the pre-Flashpoint DC Universe versions of Superman and Batman (while the Superman and Batman titles remained New-52centric).  For all I know, this may very well be the direction they are looking to explore this summer.

Second biggest surprise is the price rollback.  Re-drawing the line at $2.99 is great.  Now, I know that many of these books will be bi-weekly, and we will ultimately be paying $6 per month for each of those titles... However, when bits and pieces of this started to leak, the bi-weekly schedule was already part of that.  I feared that titles like Action Comics, Batman, and Green Lantern would remain $3.99 and go bi-weekly.  So, I suppose this is more of a relief than anything.  This appears to be a very good customer service move, as well as perhaps something of an acknowledgement that the $3.99 price point is just too high for a new or lapsed reader to embrace.

What I wasn't so surprised about was the aforementioned bi-weekly release schedule for many of the books, as well as relaunching the rest of the line at yet another #1.  The bi-weekly thing, I could really do without, though, I suppose I understand where they are coming from.  I hate to think of what this may do to creative teams.  I'm doubtful that an artist can put out their top-quality work consistently under such a schedule.  Perhaps they will implement rotational art chores... I'm guessing they'll have to.  I do miss long creative team runs on books, right now the closest thing we have is Snyder and Capullo on Batman.

Restarting the numbering on some 30 titles is a bit irritating.  I have always disliked this practice, going back as far as the Heroes Reborn event from Marvel.  I hate tossing out the old volume for some short-term gain.  It bugs me that we will be on volume three of Batman come June.  I hope there is a legitimate reason for the renumbering, however I am doubtful.

The titles announced all seemed quite interesting.  DC does not seem to be exploring any experimental titles right off the bat.  I think this is a good idea for the launch.  The titles given will hopefully provide a workable foundation for which to build upon.  When the New-52 was launched we had titles like Resurrection Man, Voodoo, OMAC, and Mr. Terrific.  These were going to be challenging sells to a potential new (or even seasoned) reader.  If those titles were launched, say a year into the New-52 (potentially after the characters had already been introduced), they may have found a wider audience.  I was going to go blow-by-blow for each title, however, with the limited information we have currently, it would likely be a waste of everyone's time.

Now, I am pleased with the news, however, I cannot say that I am 100% optimistic about Rebirth.  I am excited, and really can't wait to see how things pan out, however there is something I just can't shake.  During the interview, Geoff Johns mentions that this has been in the works for a long while.  If that's truly the case... Why did we just go through Convergence?  If this is to be a re-melding of the classic and contemporary DC Universes, Convergence would have been the most opportune time to pull the trigger... the fact that they didn't, and announced Rebirth six or seven months later makes me question how much forethought is being (or has been) put into this.  

I just hope that this is a better planned launch (story-wise) than the New-52.  There were so many unanswered questions in late 2011.  Questions that remained unanswered because I don't think even the creators or editorial had the answers.  (Most) Everything just felt so thrown together.  It felt like the heart had been pulled out, leaving us with just empty characters.  I have high hopes that this will not be the case this summer, and DC Comics will successfully bring their classic legacy into the contemporary market.

Not sure anything I just wrote made a lick of sense, thanks for reading nonetheless.

Lois Lane #2 (1986)

Lois Lane #2 (September, 1986)
"When it Rains, God is Crying"
Chapter III: "Quicksand!"
Chapter IV: "Bless this Child"
Writer - Mindy Newell
Artist - Gray Morrow
Letterer - Agustin Mas
Colorist - Joe Orlando
Editor - Robert Greenberger
Cover Price: $1.50

Okay, let's see how this all ends...

--

Chapter III

It is apparently three weeks later, and City Editor, McCullough is asking Metrolife Editor Janice how Lois' story is coming along.  Janice expresses a bit of frustration, claiming Lois to be "impossible" and offers to kill the story.  McCullough declines and offers a few more days.

Lois is meeting with Inspector Henderson at the Police Station.  She is furious to find out that Bill is planning on taking a three week vacation at some point in the near-immediate future.  Bill warns her that she's getting too involved with this case, and it would likely be in her best interest as well to take a break.  Lois storms out, though as she approaches her cab, she asks herself if perhaps she is too involved.

At the Planet, Lucy Lane is reunited with Jimmy Olsen.  I am very unfamiliar with this era of Superman, but it appears as though Lucy and Jimmy are/were more than friends.  They sit down to coffee and discuss the recent goings on with Lois.  The talk ends with Jimmy (jokingly?) proposing marriage to Lucy, and Lucy (jokingly?) accepting.

We rejoin Lois conducting an interview with a Mrs. Zelinsky, a woman whose 20-month old daughter was abducted and held for almost a year before she was found.  This is quite a chilling account of child abduction.  As I stated yesterday, most nonfamily abductees are not kept alive more than three hours.  If a child is kept alive longer, and there is no attempts toward ransom, one can only imagine what the child may be kept alive for.  It is sobering and incredibly sad.  Mrs. Zelinsky tells Lois that her now three-year old baby girl is not a virgin.

The child was returned, and is now relatively physically healthy.  The child has some inner turmoil, however, unable to speak and appearing to be mentally "broken".  Upon return, the child was ten pounds underweight and covered from head to toe in bruises.

Lois finds out that Inspector Henderson was the lead on the Zelinsky case, which offers the reader a bit of insight as to his experience with these types of scenarios.  Zelinsky tells Lois that Henderson "wouldn't let up" when it came to this case, telling us that he knows what he is talking about when he warns Lois not to become too involved.

Lois has a contentious run-in with Lana and Clark at a nearby newsstand.  Lana tells Lois that she will ensure that her story will be told... if not by the Planet, she will give it air-time on the evening news.  Lois suggests she is only making such an offer to drive ratings to her program, and to "grab all the glory again".  Of special interest, Lana tries to tell Lois that she knows the pain of losing a child... a comment that Lois does not even appear to hear.

Back at the Planet, Perry White is breaking everyone's backs over their lack of bringing in any interesting news of late.  He even attacks Lois, and lambastes her for acting more like a social worker than a reporter.  He wants the missing children story in-print as soon as possible.  Metrolife editor reels Lois' deadline in, only giving her five days to complete the assignment.

Lois visits a Suicide Slum runaway shelter/halfway house, Haven House where she meets with a Mr. Cortez who is allowing her to sit in on some of their sessions.  The first session features runaways, including young girls who fell into prostitution.  Girls who have given up their freedom and any money they are making for a perceived safety at the hands of their keepers/pimps.  The second session features adults whose children had run away.  We hear the story of a father who was overprotective and controlling to the point of inflicting physical abuse to his daughter.  Having had enough, she ran away never to be heard from again.  This group facilitates facing and working through guilt for the father.

Lois is called out of the session and told there's a man there to see her.  She finds Clark Kent waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs.


Chapter IV

Lois and Clark have a rather less than smooth encounter.  It is alluded to that they had shared a romantic relationship somewhat recently, though "called it quits".  It is also mentioned several times in this issue that Lois Lane was actually dating Superman, not Clark... but Superman.  This era is new to me, so I will take their word for it.  The two argue like a couple of people who really care for one another.  They know how to push each other's buttons, and Gray Morrow's art does an incredible job of showing their emotional pain.

We are treated to a page offering a juxtaposition between Lois' and Clark's evening.  Clark is surrounded by friends, Jimmy, Lucy, and Lana.  They dine together on a home made meal, and decide to take in a movie that evening.  Lois is alone, and is waiting on her Chinese food to be delivered while she hammers away at her story.  Being a Post-Crisis and Pro-Supermarriage guy, scenes like this are so incredibly strange, and sad.

Inspector Henderson is being pressured to bury the child they dredged out at the pier.  Bill is pushing back a bit, knowing that if the body (even though thus far unidentifiable) gets buried, the odds of pursuing the case will become ever slimmer.

Lois follows up on a tip, and visits a Mr. Dillon.  It was believed that the Dillon's daughter Marcy had been abducted.  Mr. Dillon is not wanting to talk, going as far as having his maid call the police.  Lois insists that they speak, and offers to speak to Mrs. Dillon instead if that would be easier.  Dillon forcefully grabs her before regaining his composure and apologizing.  He still wants her to leave.

As Lois leaves she tries to give the maid her card, asking that it be passed on to Mrs. Dillon.  The maid informs Lois that she enabled Mrs. Dillon to leave with their child following a fight with Mr. Dillon.  They are high-society types, and wanted to keep that out of the press.  As Lois presses further, the Police arrive and physically remove Lois from the premises.

Lois takes a moment to reflect before returning to the office.  The Planet staffers appear to be ignoring her.  Lois is informed that a baby was stolen from a hospital nursery, and it's body was found in a nearby garbage pail.  She heads out on the tip.

Inspector Henderson is conducting his investigation of "Baby Doe", and is confronted by Lana who is trying to get some comments for the news.  Lois arrives and again makes the claim that Lana's actions are ratings-driven.  Oddly enough, as Lois is lecturing, Lana invites her to have some coffee.  Lana felt that she (Lana) may need a bit of support for the upcoming press conference.  Lois does not appear to understand what this means.

During the press conference it is revealed that the baby taken from the nursery was in fact not the baby found in the garbage can.  It is further revealed that one of the kidnapped baby's ears was delivered to the Police Department.  All the while Lana is growing more and more agitated.  Upon hearing about the ear, Lana breaks down.  Lois helps her out of the conference.

Now, this is a bit weird... and I have no frame of reference for this, so this may be a new wrinkle in Lana's history.  Lana confides in Lois that she had recently been married and had a child while living in Europe.  The terrorist group, The Red Hand had kidnapped her baby boy, and had sent her his ear.  Shocked, Lois now understands that Lana did not have a ratings-driven angle for her involvement in this story.

The next morning, Lois and Lucy attempt to mend fences.  The ultimately decide to try and be friends.  Lucy is leaving Metropolis that evening, and Lois invites her to the burial of the child from the beginning of this story.  Lois, Clark, Lucy, Lana, Jimmy, Janice and Henderson are all present for the proceedings.

--

I'm not too sure how I feel about this ending.

On one hand, it drives home the message that some of these cases will likely never be solved, and justice will never be done.  The late introduction (and inconclusive nature) of the Baby Doe case(s) further gives the feeling that when it comes to child abductions, there is no "down time" and loose ends will be left frayed.

On the other hand, however, I guess I was hoping for a, for lack of a better term, happier ending.  Upon reflection... I guess that would not necessarily fit.  There will, sadly, always be missing children.  Such a subject really cannot be "fixed" in 48 (or 96) pages.

This series did a great job of showing the reader the various forms of child abduction that occur.  Family abductions, non-family abductions, political abductions, and runaways.  It did not linger too long on any given point, but stayed long enough to help the reader understand through Lois' interactions.  Characterization and art throughout are still top-notch.

Not much more to say, this was admittedly a bit weaker than the first issue, though by no means is it bad.  I felt that it may have been rushed toward the end, as I was expecting at least a few more pages after Lana's reveal.  During this part, Jimmy and Lucy were writing a piece for Metrolife in order to help Lois... I'm not sure if this is a case of my being somewhat dense, but I cannot figure out what they were writing about, and how it was to help Lois.  Further, there was a brief scene at the Planet where the staffers were ignoring Lois... again, I may have missed something... but I cannot figure out the significance of that scene.

The cover for this one is a bit strange.  Lois protecting three children from a shadowy person entering brandishing a pistol.  No such scene occurs in this issue, making me wonder if it was a scene that was cut, or if this series was meant to have additional chapters.

This little series is definitely worth your time.  It may be a hard one to track down, however.  To my knowledge, it has not been collected... it is not available (legally) digitally... and I have only come across it "in the wild" once.

Lois Lane #1 (1986)

Lois Lane #1 (August, 1986)
"When it Rains, God is Crying"
Chapter I: "Ignorance Was Bliss"
Chapter II: "Dark Realities"
Writer: Mindy Newell
Artist: Gray Morrow
Letterer: Agustin Mas
Colorist: Joe Orlando
Editor: Robert Greenberger
Cover Price: $1.50

Now I like to think of myself as a guy who's familiar with comic books.  I've been collecting forever, and my library features a vast array of oddities.  I was actually a bit taken aback finding this comic at a local used record store.  I'd never seen or heard of it, and it really stood out in comparison to DC's other mid-1980's offerings.  There isn't a whole lot about this two-issue miniseries online, at least to my knowledge, mostly it just shows up in chronology lists.  I assume my copy is the Canadian version, as its cover price is $2.10 (which was another thing that stood out to me).

This is a 48-page book, with no ads (barring inside covers).  This issue features the first two chapters of "When it Rains, God is Crying", making me wonder if this was originally planned to be a four-parter.

I'm reading this book at a very strange time.  I am a Psychology Major, currently approaching my senior year (yeah, I started the whole higher education thing a decade-plus too late).  One of the classes on my docket is Forensic Psychology, which is a class I had been dreading for the past couple of years.  It is a very challenging class, and I was worried that I would bomb it hurting my GPA in the process.  Long story, well, less long... I am taking the class as I write this, and have found that I have a passion for the course material that I had not anticipated.

This story has to do with missing and abducted children (a fact I was unaware of when I decided to review it), a subject that never really affected me as we haven't started having kids yet.  For the past two weeks, as part of a cold-case project, I found myself very deeply researching the case of Amber Hagerman, a young girl who was abducted in Arlington, TX in 1996 (and is the "Amber" behind the National AMBER Alert).  Her body was found five days later, and tragically the case remains unsolved to this very day.  During the second chapter of this tale, Lois connects with an agency to get information and statistics on missing children.  Reading that scene gave me such strange deja vu.  She speaks with the director of the agency, and is also there to witness a missing child report being filed by a scared family.  These scenes came across as so very real, and considering my academic head-space of late, really affected me.

How does the rest of the story hold up... let's find out.

--

We open on Lois ending a date with a fellow named Geoff.  She observes several police cars speeding off, and considering the late hour she decides to abandon her date (while borrowing his Jag') and give chase.  She follows them down to the pier and sees a group of officers and detectives looking out to the drink.  Inspector Henderson attempts to corral Lois into the sanctioned "Press" area, however, she asserts herself and is able to get a better view of what they are pulling out of the water.

Fellow Planet reporter, Bob Harley is unhappy to see Lane both covering his beat and getting special treatment from the Inspector.  He calls Editor Ed Byrnes at the Planet and tells him what is going on.  Byrnes, in turn, calls acting City Editor James McCullough to pass on the information.  McCullough is none to pleased to hear what Lane is up to (and being woken up as well).  Byrnes is instructed to "bury" her story.  Apparently, Lois is on thin ice from an apparent "botching" of a mid-east interview she conducted, and has been sidelined to reporting "small stuff".

We cut to a flight attendant attempting to make a phone call from an airport.  We find out that she is Lois' sister Lucy Lane, and she is trying to contact Lois so that they may "bury the hatchet".  She gets Lois' answering machine, and hangs up without leaving a message.  She is headed to Metropolis and wants to give her sister a heads up.

Back at the pier, the body of a young girl is lifted from the water.  Upon getting a closer look, Lois is struck with intense emotion, describing the child as "a grotesque parody of a Cabbage Patch doll".  Lois and Henderson retire to his car to collect themselves.  Henderson encourages Lois to go home for the evening, even offering to drive her.  Lois accepts the ride, however, asks to be dropped off at the Daily Planet so that she may begin her story.

Upon arrival, she is greeted by Byrnes, who informs her that whatever story she is working on, it will not get the front page of the next day's edition.  He offers her one column on page 53 (next to an ad for a Mother's Day sale on lingerie, no less).  Lois begrudgingly accepts, and is sent home shortly thereafter.

Lois returns to her apartment, and checks her answering machine.  Among her missed calls is Lana Lang inviting Lois to join her and Clark on their movie date.  I'm guessing this puts this story in Pre-Crisis DC continuity.  She notes the message (Lucy's) with the hang-up, and comments that "somebody doesn't like to talk to a machine".  She also has a message from McCullough demanding an audience with her the next day.


The morning comes, and we witness a discussion between McCullough and Byrnes.  Ed informs McCullough that he complied with his demand and buried Lois' story, though adds that he disagrees with that decision.  He reinforces that Lane is an ace reporter, and goes on to say that Lois' story could be a very good thing for the paper to run with.  He left a copy of Lois' article for McCullough to read.

McCullough reads Lois' story, and decides to run with it.  However, with the caveat that it will be done "his way... or not at all".  He sends for "Metrolife" Features Editor Janice Denton.

Lucy Lane shows up at Lois' apartment, however, cannot get buzzed in.  Lois sleeps through all of the doorman's attempts at contacting her.  Lucy gives up, and decides to try to connect with Lois at the office.

End of Chapter One


Chapter Two starts with Lois experiencing nightmares about what she had witnessed the night before.  She wakes up to find she has overslept, and heads into the office.  She attempts to get more information about the case and the victim from Inspector Henderson, but is unsuccessful.  She asks if dental records have been checked, even though they have not yet determined a cause of death.  Lois is clearly becoming obsessed with this story.  Her assistant, Justin provides her with a stack of paperwork he procured from the morgue, things that weren't yet inputted into the computer system.  Their discussion is interrupted by McCullough who lambastes Lois for her tardiness.

Meanwhile, at 344 Clinton Avenue Clark Kent and Lana Lang are having breakfast.  This is during a time where Clark and Lana are co-anchors for the evening news (so, yeah... Pre-Crisis).  Their meal is interrupted by somebody at the door.  It is Lucy Lane, seeing if Clark knew Lois' whereabouts.  Clark calls the Planet, and finds that Lois is there, hard at work, and the whole office is gossiping about what she is up to.  The three head out to the Planet.

We rejoin Lois and McCullough, now in his office arguing about her story.  Lois threatens to quit and take her story to The Eagle, and McCullough informs her that "Metrolife" editor, Janice Denton would be working with her on this story.  This infurates Lois, as the Metrolife section is more of a lifestyle supplemental rag concentrating more on "fashion and health notes".  Lois knows her story is "hard news" and belongs at the fore of the paper.

She storms out intending to visit Childsearch, Inc. in New Paltz to try and get more information for her story.  I did a bit of digging on Childsearch, Inc., there appears to be several organizations using this name across the United States, however, I was unable to find one in New Paltz, NY.  In a written piece, Ms. Newell does make reference to this organization and it's New Paltz location.  The phone number for The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (1-800-843-5678) is prominently displayed on a poster in the lobby.  This is, in fact, still the number for this organization, and on their web-site is where I spent most of this past weekend.  It is a wonderful resource, that is an unfortunate necessity.  She meets with a Kate Brinkley (could not find her with some brief googling to see if this was she is a real person, though I have little doubt that she is), and is given some statistics.  She is told that two million children are reported missing each year, most of which are runaways.  They discuss children being abducted by a divorced parent, and those taken by strangers (now referred to as nonfamily abductions).

Personal research tidbit here, I was shocked to find that for nonfamily abductions the first three hours of the abduction are the most critical.  Within the first three hours around three-quarters of abducted children are reportedly killed.

Lois and Kate are joined by a family reporting a missing child.  In an awesome bit of realism, Newell depicts this family as imploding, blaming each other for the abduction.  They are really reaching with the blame, which strikes me as something that would really happen.  With something this potentially gruesome, people will say nearly anything to assuage themselves of any guilt.

Brinkley cuts them off quickly, telling them that this is not the time for recriminations, telling them to redirect their hostilities in a positive direction.  The character of Kate is written incredibly well.  This is the way such a person should be written, she is steady and calm, and does not let the emotion of the moment overtake her.  Clearly, Ms. Newell did her research.  All the while, Lois is taking notes.

The family shares the story of how their baby daughter went missing.  The parents left their young son and baby daughter in the car while they ran into a restaurant to grab some hamburgers.  Having something as benign as a burger run be the impetus for an abduction really drives the point home that abductions can occur anywhere, and quickly.  A couple of men approached the family car, punched out the young boy, and took the baby girl.

We rejoin Lucy, now walking through a park in Metropolis.  She witnesses a child standing with a police officer.  The officer blows his whistle and informs the people present that the young boy he is standing with had become separated from his mother.  His mother charges up and reclaims the boy, initially seeming thankful... though, she berates the young lad for embarrassing her as they walk away.  Seeing this helps Lucy make an association... she thinks she can help Lois with her story.

Lois arrives home only to find Lucy sitting on her couch.  Their reunion is quite contentious, and Lois excuses herself to take a bath.  Lucy follows her in the bathroom and tells her she thinks she can be of help.  Lois scoffs, putting Lucy down.  Lucy leaves, Lois is alone in the bath and we are... [to be continued]

--

Whew.  That was long, dense, and rather intense.

This was an interesting, mature take on Lois Lane.  One that I perhaps was unprepared for.  In these 48 pages I feel like I learned so much more about Lois, her drive, her passion, than I have in all my years of reading her in the Superman titles.  We see Lois as a person who is defined by her career, and due to the extreme nature of this story, it begins seeping into her "real life".  She is obsessive, determined, and... well, human.

The Lois I've always known has been an infallible "Ace" reporter, having this story touch on a story that she "botched" lends to viewing Lois under a new light... one in which her ego had taken a bit of a thrashing, and it not being due to Clark having "scooped" her on a Superman story.

Seeing Clark and Lana together (instead of Lois and Clark) was somewhat heartbreaking.  I always had the impression that Lois was okay alone, however, the scenes in her apartment depict a vulnerability, almost a loneliness.  It's like you can see her trying to maintain her "stiff upper-lip", and in a few scenes here, that facade begins to crack.  From the messages on her answering machine, you get the impression that Lois has perhaps alienated herself from her family, and potential suitors.

This is a sad story, no doubt.  The sadness seeps into almost every scene.  I may be biased here, due to my current research on the subject, but this is one people really ought to read.  Not so much for the PSA aspects, all of that information is readily available online (trust me...), but for this novel and mature way of examining the Lois Lane character, her social dynamics, and her place in the world.

Mindy Newell, who I am wholly unfamiliar with did some great work here.  In between the chapters there is a three-page written piece by Ms. Newell in which she discusses how she was nearly abducted as a child.  Gripping and sobering, this story obviously means a lot to Ms. Newell.  The amount of research she did (pre-Internet) and the people she must have spoken to for this story did it such a service.  She also refers readers to other contemporary missing child stories going on in comics.  Her talent helps steer this issue from becoming a simple PSA that could be set aside with all of our mid-eighties "Just Say No!" comics.  This is truly a character piece, and addresses a challenging and sadly real subject.

The art from Gray Morrow is an absolute treat.  Clean, identifiable characters with just the right amount of "grit" and realism to truly separate this story from DC's regular superhero fare.  This is an issue predominantly consisting of talking heads, and at no point was it boring to behold.

Read this book.  I think we'll finish up this two-parter tomorrow.

--

No ads here, however here is the back-cover to this issue:

... and the three-page written piece by Mindy Newell: