Convergence: Titans #1 (June, 2015)
"Try for Justice, Part One"
Writer - Fabian Nicieza
Penciller - Ron Wagner
Inker - Jose Marzan, Jr.
Colorist - Chris Sotomayor
Letterer - Carlos M. Mangual
Assistant Editors - Brittany Holzherr & Michael Kraiger
Editor - Marie Javins
Cover Price: $3.99
Another weekend in the Convergence... because, why not? This time we're going to discuss one of the titles I was most excited for... for two reasons. First, it was a Titans book, and second, it was written by Fabian Nicieza. My Titans' fandom goes without saying at this point., but Nicieza, along with Scott Lobdell, are responsible for some of my favorite (and fandom-formative) X-Men stories of all time. I'm actually surprised that I haven't yet discussed either fella on the blog. We'll have to fix that.
Anyhoo... into the void.
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We open with a tour down Roy Harper's memory lane. He remembers his time with the (original) Teen Titans, his (sadly character-defining) heroin addiction, his tryst with Cheshire and resultant daughter Lian... and that daughter's tragic passing, which I believe happened during Justice League: Cry for Justice. Also, when he lost his arm. He wakes up in a sweaty panic.
He thinks back to a year ago when a dome covered... get this... yet a-freaking-nother Gotham City. Super-powers were nullified... and somehow, Roy's cybernetic arm quit working... ooookay. He speaks of Gotham's resilience, just making things work in their "new normal". Roy spends his time at a community center, or orphanage named "Lian's Place" after his daughter.
And then, THE SPEECH.
Roy calls Donna Troy, who as luck would have it is in the middle of a photo shoot with Starfire. They discuss THE SPEECH, and notice that not only is the dome gone... but they're no longer on Earth. Now, if this is pre-Flashpoint Gotham City... shouldn't Superman be there too? Anyhoo... Starfire feels that familiar tickle on her skin... and starts to fly, Donna begrudgingly (at first) joins her.
Roy decides that the time is right to do a sweep of the city... and so, he enters into a top secret bunker. After passing a retinal identification scan, we enter the arsenal of... Arsenal.
Donna and Kory continue their joy-flight when they notice some explosions in the distance. THE SPEECH wasn't kidding, there's gonna be some fighting goin' down. The Titans' enemies... the Extremists! Yawn.
The ladies enter into battle... and appear to be outgunned. Arsenal is in his... arsenal, watching the events transpire. Deciding it's time he got involved, he reattaches his cybernetic arm.
Moments later, Roy joins Donna and Kory in their battle with the Extremists. He points his cybernetic arm blaster directly at Dreamslayer... however, before he can pull the trigger (as it were), the baddie makes him an offer he may not be able to refuse... the life of his daughter, Lian.
All's he's gotta do is... kill Starfire and Donna. He considers it for a moment... then re-aims his arm blasters toward his teammates... and Kra-Koom. Uh-oh.
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Ya know... before I get into the book, I gotta say... maybe I overreacted on the length and invasive-ness of THE SPEECH. I suppose it's helpful that I'm only reading one of these a week right now... rather than reading a dozen-or-so sorta-kinda similar issues over the course of a day or three. Here, THE SPEECH lasts less than a page... I gotta wonder if I've misjudged these... at least in that regard.
The book... ehh. I remember when the Convergence tie-in solicits hit, there were a handful of books I couldn't figure out why they were publishing... Titans was definitely not one of those books, however, after reading it... I really don't have any idea why this was a story DC felt they needed to tell. It just feels so pointless... which kinda sucks.
I suppose it's unfair of me to judge this critically based upon my hopeful expectations. I mean, I think we all want every book we read to be a great one... but, this was a Titans book. In the five-odd years of the New-52!, we Titans fans didn't have a great time. This (and the New Teen Titans tie-in) were our only hope... gotta say, this was not the story I was hoping for.
Was it bad? I really can't say... I can say that I was disappointed, that I expected more than a weird Arsenal story... but, I'm not sure I can say it was bad. It wasn't my cup of tea... neither was the art, if I'm being honest. Overall... can't really recommend tracking this one down. Maybe if you're a die-hard Arsenal fan... I dunno.
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(Not the) Letters Page:
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Variant Cover:
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Interesting Ads:
Yeah! #8 (May, 2000)
"Yeah! Goes to War!"
Writer - Peter Bagge
Artist - Gilbert Hernandez
Letterer - Philip Felix
Colorist - Joanne Bagge
Assistant Editor - Will Dennis
Editor - Shelly Roeberg
Cover Price: $2.95
Yeah? Yeah. Yeah! Today we're going to talk about an intergalactic pop band. The gals of Yeah!, Krazy, Honey, and Woo-Woo, kinda feel Josie and the Pussycats-ish... which is likely the point.
Seeing Peter Bagge's name on this... and also seeing that it appears to be an All-Ages book, really raised my eyebrows. This book features many ads (which I'll include below) which were usually reserved for the younger-readers books... cartoon shows, Johnny DC book ads... stuff like that.
Let's get right to it... whatever it might be!
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We open on the far-off planet Sunburnia, where Princess Patina is proclaiming to her father, the King that she has fallen in love with an Earthling... who just so happens to be the manager for the most popular band in the universe, "Yeah!", Crusty! The King forbids her from seeing him.
We shift scenes to the Crust-man himself, as he enjoys his E.S.P. Enhancing helmet. The members of Yeah!, Honey, Krazy and Woo-Woo are annoyed to see him lounging as they prepare for their next intergalactic tour. Crusty reveals that he... fell in love with an alien... and the gals become quite intrigued, though still annoyed. Either way, it is here that we learn that Sunburnia is the last stop on their upcoming tour.
Speaking of the tour... let's check out some of Yeah!'s greatest hits.
After their final concert, the crew heads out to enjoy Sunburnia... well, maybe enjoy is the wrong word for it... ya see, you'd never guess it, but Sunburnia is hot. Krazy globs mounds of sun screen on her to protect her "ghost-like complexion"... I know the feeling. Crusty then introduces them to his "perfect angel" Patina.
Krazy asks what it's like to be a Princess... and is shocked to learn that it might not be as great as it's cracked up to be. She can't even choose who she'll marry! The girls offer to speak to the King on Crusty's behalf... but, for some reason he stops them. The lovebirds then break away to make out... and our ladies decide to take in some sights.
As the girls grab their umbrellas and head to a roller coaster, Patina informs Crusty that there is the possibility that the planet might be attacked by Imperialoids in the (very) near future. Patina implores Crusty to gather the gals and get off planet as quick as he can... but to do so without causing a planet-wide panic. And so, he very calmly bee-lines it to Yeah!.
He lies about having to get home to call his mother for her birthday... which nobody believes. He doesn't get another opportunity to persuade them, as the Imperialoids have chosen now to strike!
Yeah! fires Crusty as their manager... which I'm getting the feeling is a daily occurrence. They are all corralled into a bomb shelter, where they are drafted into battle! Well, all besides the Crust-man... because he's "as old as the hills". Ouch.
The girls join (the boogie woogie bugle boy of?) Company B onto the front lines of battle. Before running in, Honey says she misses her "two furverts" back home... which, um... I dunno. Anyhoo... our ladies hit the battlefield, and take cover behind a rock.
They don't have to hide for long, however... as Crusty and Patina come to their rescue. They fly up in a saucer (with vanity "PATINA I" plates) and lower a rope ladder. The girls are just about loaded onto the craft when Honey notices two tiny quivering Sunburnian babies hiding in a crater.
The girls decide to risk life and limb by heading back into the warzone to save the kiddies. At this point, all bets are off... Krazy and Woo-Woo start blasting their lasers without prejudice, to cover Honey's rescue efforts.
The mission is successful, and our sevensome safely escapes. Several days later there is a victory ceremony, and the folks from Yeah! are honored for their bravery.
They all receive Golden Double Sun Awards for their efforts... and the old King offers his daughter to Crusty. Only thing is, they couldn't marry just yet... but Patina could live in... Crusty's filthy shack. Oddly enough, she's cool with all that.
It's Crusty who isn't. He feels like she deserves better... and once he (and Yeah!) become successful, he'll be back for her. The gang gets ready to leave... however, the Sunburnian TSA agent claims they're carrying something highly radioactive. Whoops... looks like their medals of honor are going to have to stay behind!
We wrap up with the gang heading home... and arguing. Woo-Woo claims that Crusty is still really and truly fired as their manager... while Krazy is furious she had to leave the only award she'd ever won behind. Honey is too busy crying to participate in the quarrel... ya see, she was hoping to adopt those little buggers she rescued. Wonk wonk wonnnnnk...
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Soooo... that was weird.
I'm kinda struggling for what to say... I enjoyed this, but I haven't the foggiest idea why. It was fun, and silly... I guess sometimes that's enough!
This is the first issue of Yeah! I'd ever read... and I still didn't feel lost. It wasn't difficult to follow, and really the only reference to a previous issue was this:
I can't say I'm chomping at the bit to see how this ends... or even how it started, but for a single at-a-whim read, I had a perfectly good time. It's not deep... it's silly without being overly so. It's just a fun fifteen minutes of fluff. My experience with Bagge and Hernandez is, admittedly, a bit limited. I've got plenty of both in the library... just haven't gotten to them yet. The last Bagge I actually (re)read (for a semi-recent podcast) was the Megalomaniacal Spider-Man... which I found to be pretty bad. I have a bunch of Love and Rockets I need to get to, but the last Hernandez I read was a Dark Horse miniseries called Speak of the Devil, which I thought was pretty dang great. His art here is very nice, though definitely done with a more cartoony flair than his other (perhaps more personal) works.
For the issue itself... not a whole lot to say. It was an episodic adventure... and the issue that follows it will be the last. If I try to think too hard... which I'm prone to do, I'd suggest that maybe our main managing man, Crusty isn't ready for a monogamous relationship... and so, he tried (a couple of times) to get out of committing to Patina. Not sure if this is a character trait, or a running gag in the series... it's just something that kinda stood out for me.
The entire nine-issue series has been collected in glorious black and white... but not by DC Comics! Instead, the trade paperback came out through Fantographics back in 2011. I don't really have any problem reading black and white comics, however, I understand if that's a bridge too far for others. Shouldn't be too terribly difficult to track down either way... I think most folks could get some fun outta this.
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Prez #2 (October-November, 1973)
"Invasion of the Chessmen"
by Joe Simon & Jerry Grandenetti
Cover Price: $0.20
If there are two things I'm passionate about in this world, it's chess and politics. Okay, it's neither of those things... but we're going to discuss a book having to do with both anyway! I guess I can use this as my President's Day Week special!
Prez was one of the first handful of books Reggie and I discussed on the Cosmic Treadmill... however, at that point I'd only ever read the first issue. As we enter the second issue, our man has already assumed the highest office in the land and assembled his cabinet.
Let's watch as he brushes aside the troubles of the war-zone called Earth to focus his attention on the World Chess Championship!
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We open with Prez and Eagle Free on "Good Will" tour of the globe. It is their goal to spread peace worldwide. Noble endeavor it may be, it doesn't change the fact that every stop on this tour looks like a war-zone. Prez is completely ignorant to this fact... not noticing planes being blown out of the sky and even suggesting a hail of explosions in their wake is the result of a "twenty gun salute" and not just angry folks.
They return home to the good ole' U.S. of A., to address the United Nations. The streets of New York City are just as war-torn as the rest of the world. Whoops. After delivering his four-word speech, he returns to Washington, D.C. His speech? Simply put, "Peace in our time!" It should be noted that it is here that Prez (and the reader) learns that Prez's security detail includes a whole lotta Prez Rickard lookalikes... that'll be important in a bit.
Prez arrives back at the White House. His sister... secretary... sistertary informs him that Robbie Fishhead, the odd chess champion... who calls himself Chessking, is currently waiting for him in the... ahem, Groove Room. Prez enters, and hoo boy it's a psychedelic scene... Chessking is having a game with the Vice President, Prez's own mother, Martha! It is a bit weird, but Prez addresses her by name... did I say weird? I meant annoying.
Anyhoo, Chessking easily "checkmates" Ms. Martha... and so she turns her attention to her boy. Prez is bugged by her doting, and tells her to lay off. He then congratulates Chessking on his recent victory over the Russian chess champion. As Fishhead leaves, he is met by a throng of reporters... being the braggadocious git that his is, he trash-talks the "Ruskies" and challenges them to another match, if they front a million bucks. Oh, he also denies using hypnosis to win the first match. Hmm...
Word spreads quickly all the way to the Iron Curtain. The Russians are none too pleased at Bobby Fischerrrr.... Robbie Fishhead's unkind words... and so, they accept his challenge. He will face the Russian Queen Errant... which is a ridiculous, but fun name.
The match is set, and Prez Rickard will be in attendance. This is where this already wacky book becomes even more so... the chess match takes place on a hyooge board... with live "pieces". Queen Errant's Oberon-ish aide, Krudnik reminds her not to forget the "poison pawn". More on that later.
The match rolls on... however, Krudnik is somehow getting under Fishhead's skin with the ticking of a pocket watch. He deduces that the Russian Coach is using "electronic rays" on him... and so, he goes nuts and starts bashing his opponents... this gets him disqualified, and so the Russians win! An aggravated Prez walks out, promising to conduct a full investigation.
The next morning, the Capitol is invaded by mechanical chess pieces... which blow up several monuments! This is pretty hardcore, right? This ain't gonna look good for our teen-age Commander in Chief!
During an emergency session of Congress, the blustery old coot Senator Ebeneezer expresses concern that the "whippersnapper" ain't cuttin' the mustard. He threatens Prez with impeachment proceedings before storming off. Prez requests his mother contact Eagle Free... and so she does... sorta.
Prez decides he wants to visit Eagle Free off-site to discuss the threat, however, the Secret Service detail is tight... Prez may as well be a prisoner in his own (White) house. Remember we mentioned the lookalikes? Well, Prez remembers too. He sends a lookalike away in a car... then he strolls out of the White House posing as one of his own body doubles! It helps not to think about it too hard.
Prez dashes across D.C. to Eagle Free's... um, office. Make that, teepee... either way, they discuss strategy, among Free's "natural crime detection apparatuses".
That night, the pair head to the roof of the (oddly unguarded) Russian Embassy building. You'd have to figure there'd be at least one guard here, right? Anyhoo... they watch, and wait... until three more mechanical chessmen approach. Two of them head one way, while the third heads toward the Treasury... Prez and Free follow the lone one.
Unfortunately for Prez, and Eagle Free's avian friends, they fell for the ol' poison pawn trick. Not being a chess expert, I did a bit of reading. From what I've gleaned, the poison pawn is strategically placing a pawn in a capture-able spot, because if it is captured, the capturing piece is left in a less than advantageous spot. Probably not as hardcore as Screech Power's Spassky-Bishop block, but whattaya gonna do?
Prez and Eagle Free leap on the remaining, operational chessmen... but they cannot stop them. Prez comments that they're full of electrical energy... which causes Eagle Free to suggest they check in with the Power Company to see if they can track higher-than-normal power consumption on the grid... and so, they do.
And wouldn'tcha know it... the consumption is coming from the remote Silver Springs... home of Chessking! The intrepid teens head out... and hoo boy, wouldja just look at Chessking's house...
Prez and Free are surrounded by the chess-sentries before falling through a hole in the "board". This sends them down a shoot leading into Chessking's... um, dungeon? I mean, there're shackles on the wall! Anyhoo... it's here we find our "big bad", not the Chessking but the Queen Errant!
She pulls a gun on the teens... but then, Eagle Free's birds launch an attack... somehow (they are underground, right?)... causing her to drop her piece. Prez picks it up, and it's academic from there.
Prez returns home, and learns all of the money that was stolen by the electrical chessmen had been returned, minus a single dollar. Prez forks over the bill... which, has his face on it. I think I'm missing something here... Prez winks at us... but, I'm not getting what he's on about. Oh well.
We close with an epilogue... it's all about gun control... and ends with a shot being fired in the White House... uh oh!
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Good gravy... this is a strange book!
I think I have an unconscious trigger that goes off whenever an issue is broken up into "chapters". Even if a given chapter runs only a handful of pages... it still makes a book feel so much longer than it is. I kinda feel like I breezed through this, however, when I think about the opening chess match... I'd swear it's been days since I read that! Weird seventies pacing.
I feel like the book dropped a bit of the more biting social commentary with this second issue. The premiere issue was downright dripping with it... here, it's still around, but not as in-your-face... then again, maybe I'm just too dense to realize when I'm being preached to... wouldn't be the first time! It is crazy to consider that a book about the President of the United States isn't nearly as political as much of the mainstream output these days... but, I'll quit my editorializing there.
The story here was just nutty... and a lot of fun! Chess as a full-contact, potentially violent, and nationalist endeavor is such a wild premise! The political intrigue we did get was well done as well, in the form of Prez's opposition seeking to being impeachment proceedings. There was even a bit of a swervy ending... I would've put money on Chessking being the big-bad! I dig being surprised, so that all worked for me.
The terroristic element was bizarre in a way that I thought for a moment that I was reading something that I shouldn't be. I'm not sure if that says more about the industry, or myself... but seeing Washington D.C. monuments destroyed by suicide-chessbots, seemed a bit, I dunno... extreme. Not bad, certainly... just a bit eye-opening for your humble blogger.
The art was great as well. So much surreality to behold here. From everywhere Prez visiting turning into a warzone, to Eagle Free's FBI headquarters, and even Chessking's front yard being a security-laden chessboard. Such weird imagery, but so well done.
I'd definitely recommend Prez to anyone interested in some weird comics. It only ran for four issues if you're into bin-hunting... if not, DC recently collected it in trade paperback format, along with a few goodies (and not-so-goodies, hello Vertigo Visions!). It's not a trade I own just yet... but it's definitely on my watch-list. The entire all-too-short run is also available digitally, if that's more your thing.
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