Wonder Woman (vol.2) #121 (1997)

Wonder Woman (vol.2) #121 (May, 1997)
"Stone May Grow"
Writer/Artist - John Byrne
Colorist - Patricia Mulvihill
Assistant Editor - Jason Hernandez-Rosenblatt
Editor - Paul Kupperberg
Cover Price: $1.95

How curious... just a random issue of Wonder Woman from the late 1990's.  I wonder why we might be discussing this book...

Well, to explain why... I will write this as though it's a line item in an Wizard Magazine's price guide:

                   Terry Long: appears (dies)

Yup... today we're shuffling our old friend off this mortal coil... in a random issue of Wonder Woman.  Hell, I've made my indifference-slash-dislike for this character well known, but even I think he deserves better... well, we'll go further in depth after the spoilery synopsis.  Let's see just how well we do reading an unfamiliar era of Wonder Woman, with absolutely nothing in the way of context!

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We open with Randu Singh doing some astral plane mojojojo to follow up on a mental message Diana had received regarding the death of her mother, Hippolyta.  Singh is most certain that a young woman did indeed make contact.  Speaking of which, that woman is named Angelica Wallis... and is no stranger to psychic flashes.  These, however, are different... these are controllable.  We see that she is in the same hospital as Hippolyta, who lies in the Intensive Care Unit... and has been turned completely to stone!

Wonder Woman and the gang, including a very young Cassie Sandsmark and Jason Blood, head to the roof of the latter's apartment building.  Diana attempts to summon her invisible jet so she and Singh might seek out this astral interloper, but only produces a coagulous mess.  I should mention that she currently has a badly injured right arm/hand.

Diana has no choice but to request the aid from a Harold Campion... the Champion!  It seems her current entourage is less than comfortable with this idea, and suggest she reach out to the Justice League instead.  She declines.  Champion arrives and immediately agrees to aid Diana in her travels.  Jason Blood grabs Randu Singh and asks that he keep Mr. Campion at arm's reach... as he fears there's much more to him than meets the eye.  And, we soon learn that he is wise to think that.  The gang leaves, and a Satyr all but confirms that the master has a "true nature" not yet seen by Wondy.

In the panels that follow, Diana arrives at the Wallis' doorstep.  That was a mighty quick trip... especially with the vague directions Randu provided.

Next we get the first of two interludes.  This one has Artemis receiving some intel by a Nathaniel (who I wouldn't recognize if he delivered a pizza to my house).  The information involves Etrigan the Demon.  Artemis promises to do what she must.

We rejoin Diana as she enters her Mother's hospital room.  She grows ever weaker (and whiter!) the closer she gets to her.  She concludes that they must return to Paradise Island, lest they both become completely stone.

They board Campion's airliner, and head toward Themyscira.  Along the way, Diana faints.  Ol' Hank carries her to a bed... and reveals (at least to us, Di is on dream-street) that he came to Gateway City in order to coerce her into falling in love with him... this would somehow grant him vengeance against Hippolyta... okay.  Anyhoo, he claims it is he who fell in love at this juncture.  He feeds Diana some of Dionysus' wine as the craft descends on the island.

We shift to the second of our interludes... and ladies and gents, this be our main event.  The reason why I'm discussing this issue.  We see Terry Long, and his children Jennifer and Robert driving along a New England road in the midst of a terrible storm.  He becomes distracted by the high-beams of an oncoming truck, and veers off to the side... where he winds up driving off a cliff!  Upon impact, his mid-sized sedan goes boom.  Hmmph... that was underwhelming, wuddn't it?

Back on Paradise Island, Diana and company head into the square.  What they find there is of great distress to Wonder Woman... everyone she knew and loved on the island has been turned into statues!

Diana goes deeper... until she comes across a body who hasn't completely transitioned into crag.  It's a blind Amazon named Eudia.  She reveals that Champion is in fact Heracles... the son of Zeus!  Hmm, well... that makes certain New-52! revelations a bit icky, right?

Diana is furious... and proceeds to beat on her would-be lover... different-timeline lover... until she begins to come apart, like literally.  Her body parts just begin to shatter upon impact!

Until all that's left is a pile of shards and a leotard.  Obviously, we are... [to be continued].

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Well... I'm gonna start with what made me pick this issue up... the death of Terry Long.  Ya ever dislike someone for such a long time that when you actually stop to think about why you dislike them... you just can't figure out why?  Well, make no bones about it, I'm not becoming a Terry Long fan here... but I'm starting to realize that my initial reaction to seeing him in a given comic is far less "Grrr!" and more "Oh brother... it's him".

The dude's not fun... he kills the joy of most scenes he takes part in... If I were in charge of the Crisis, I'd have had the Anti-Monitor snuff him out as though he were a cigarette in an ashtray... but even I gotta say, he deserved a better exit.

While we're at it... he deserved his own exit.  Perishing alongside his children makes his death seem far less important.  He cannot (and would not) be mourned as a man... just one of the victims of an accident.  Whether we like it or not, he was a supporting character in one of the biggest books of the 1980's.

Seems his death was something of a throwaway... and, honestly an unnecessary one.  Terry was already divorced from Donna by this point, and could have just disappeared into the world.  Not sure why Byrne felt the need to draw such a dramatic line under the Longs.

Well... not much left to say about Terry (for today), so I'll end this bit with our first... and last look at Terry Long.  Abyssinia, you creepy bastard.

Terrence Arthur Long

March 5, 1981 - March 26, 1997

Forever in Our Hearts

For the actual Wonder Woman story... it was interesting.  Can't say that I was captivated by it or anything, but it was a decent enough read.  I dig the idea of Wonder Woman, a hero born of clay... returning to a clay-like form.  The issue was perhaps a bit on the talky side... but whattayagonnado?  

I've noticed that folks point to this era as when Byrne's art quality was deteriorating somewhat.  Unfortunately, I think I'd have to agree.  The art here is a bit on the rough side... almost feeling rushed.  The lack of backgrounds in many of the panels also lends to that.

Overall... I'm not sure I'd recommend this one, unless you just really gotta see/own the death of Terry Long (like I did).  If you do wanna check this out, it has been made available digitally.

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1st Issue Special #2 (1975)

1st Issue Special #2 (May, 1975)
"The Green Team: Boy Millionaires"
By Joe Simon & Jerry Grandenetti
Cover Price: $0.25

I had today's piece already picked out... it was already going to be an issue of 1st Issue Special... but it was going to be the Dr. Fate story.  I found myself in the neighborhood of a local comic shop this evening... one that has absolutely awesome hours, so popping in at 7pm on a Sunday is still okay.

Anyhoo, I was scanning the bins as I am wont to do when I came across... The Green Team!  Now, I know the rules... 1st Issue Special at a decent price = instabuy.  I mean, it ain't Lady Cop... but this was definitely on our wish list!

Only four more issues of this weird and wonderful series to track down... I'll try and fit Dr. Fate in toward the end of the week.

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We start our story by meeting Abdul Smith.  A young fella who really wants to join a club.  He enters a high rise apartment building, and when he attempts to take the elevator skyward he is ushered into the "service" lift.  He makes his way upstairs and arrives at the door of the Millionaire's Club.  He rings the buzzer, and a butler arrives to shoo him away.  Little does he know, he's an invited guest!  Don't get too excited however, he's just here to shine some shoes.  He mentions to one of his customers that he'd like to join a club, and is advised to wait around for the meeting of the "Green Team" later on that day.

Speaking of the Green Team, let's meet their members... starting with The Commodore, a teeny tiny shipping tycoon.  We meet him as he rolls up on Rockmuch, Oregon (Google auto-corrects to "rock mulch, Oregon) which, at this point is little more than a ghost town.

He is immediately recognized by a pair of yokels taking up space in a saloon.  They figure him for a mark, and try to fleece him with some worthless real estate.  Well, the Commodore isn't interested in buying a house (or two)... he's gonna buy the entire town!  And so, he does.  Afterward, he starts playing in the pond with a toy boat... that just happens to be armed with some incredible fire power!  What I'm trying to say is, the boat blows up the entire town.

Two days pass, and we learn that the Commodore levelled the town so he could build an airport (or jetport, if you prefer).  Moments later he is joined by oil magnate, J.P. Houston.  A lad who seems to care very little for his oil rigs, and is more passionate about seeking out adventure.  The pair chat contentiously for a bit before remembering that they both had to head to New York for this week's meeting of the Green Team.

Next we shift to Sunbeam Studios lot... Sunbeam, I'm sure you'll know... is the foremost producer of "now" generation movies!  Hmm.  Anyhoo, here we meet Cecil Sunbeam, boy director.

We watch as he enters the set... and proceeds to... er, I dunno... inflict method acting on the poor cast members... by beating the hell out of them?  Thankfully, the thrashing is short-lived.  After all, our boy's got an appointment in New York.

A bit later, the three young men arrive in New York... all parking their aircraft atop the building, which is probably against a code or two.  Inside, we learn they are looking for investment prospects.  Ideas in which they can sink their endless funds.  Their first client is a Mr. Dinkle... who, I would have to assume would have become a regular had this series been picked up.  His pitch is to colonize the North Pole by building an entire city out of frozen french fries.  Can't make this up, folks.  They boot him with the quickness.

Their next appointment is with our old friend Abdul.  He doesn't have an invention or grand vision... he just wants to join the club.  Sadly, his bank book only shows $32.  They tell him to come back when he finds another $999,968.  No big deal, right?  Anyhoo... this inspires young Abdul to keep working hard.  Before heading to his next gig, he decides to stop at the bank to deposit his week's earnings... $5.  The transaction is recorded... one hundred thousand times.  Before we know it, Adbul is $500,000 richer!

Later on, Abdul meets with his regular customers on Wall Street.  They see that he has a cool half-mill in the bank, and give him a hot tip on a spacecraft stock.  He turns that $500K into $1.5 million!  The following week, he attends the Green Team meeting as a full-fledged member.  Oh, and the bank realized their error and deducted the $500K from his account... even then, he was still a millionaire.

During that meeting, the now four boy millionaires meet a kook named Professor Apple.  His invention is... and I'm not making this up... The Great American Pleasure Machine.  Oof.  He explains that all other forms of entertainment are passe... television, film, theatre... he doesn't mention comic books though!  The boys put their noggins together and decide... sure, this is a good waste of money investment!

And so, another town is leveled to make way for the construction of the pleasure dome.  This is not without controversy, however... the entertainment business doesn't think this is fair, and fears the pleasure hut will put them all out of work.

The angry mob is led by a David D. Meritt (get it?)... and he whips them into a lather by proclaiming their entertainment mediums will die should the G.A.P. come to be.  Among the rioters is... Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, and (I think) John Wayne... who was still had a few years left on the planet.

The Green Team has little choice but to flee the scene... and as they do, they actually get shot at!  These actors ain't messing around.

Our boys head back to their Green Room to reconnoiter... and hold a meeting with D. Meritt.  They can't come to terms, and part less than amicably.  The baddie promises that the rioters will keep their building surrounded.  The boys seem cool with this, they'll just have to watch the construction of the G.A.P. via their closed circuit television.  Figure the rioters would've busted their cameras, but... we'll allow it.  The boys finally decide they've sat around long enough... and change into their (snicker) action uniforms.  Lemme tell ya, members of Youngblood would think these uniforms have too many pockets.

They head up to the roof to board their helicopter... only to find that D. Meritt has stolen it!  Houston suggests using his six-shooters to blow the bum outta the sky, but the Commodore has a better idea.  Better is a subjective term, right?  Anyhoo, they decide to toss a million dollars in cold hard cash into the rioters below.  D. Meritt can't control his greed, and so he orders the pilot to land.  Sadly, he's too late to grab the dosh... but, figures while he's here... he may as well lock himself in the Pleasure dome.

Here we learn that the trip through "Pleasure Land" takes ten-freaking-days.  Who in the world is going to patronize this place?  This was the great investment?  Oy.  Anyhoo... we join D. Meritt as he... um, finds pleasure?

We wrap up our tale with the Green Team members visiting D. Meritt... in a sanitarium.  Ya see, he went nuts in the Great American Pleasure Machine.  Whoops.  Guess they can't all be winners.  Looks like the Commodore now has a new target for his toy boats...

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Now, what in the bluest of hells did we just read?  Half-million dollar bank errors, toy boats that can down entire cities... the Great American Pleasure Machine?!  Simon and Grandenetti were friggin' crazy during the seventies... and I love it!  Between this, Prez, and the Outsiders... man, how cool would it have been to sit in on their brainstorming sessions?

I'm sure this is supposed to be a commentary on something or another... or maybe it was just an insane idea they were trying out.  Seems to me, at first blush, they are painting the wealthy and powerful members of society... the industrialists and whatnot... as children.  All of their possessions are treated as playthings.  It's more about being a part of the "rich guy club" than actually doing anything productive.

The kids are all (barring Abdul) fortunate sons.  They've all inherited their fortunes... and as mentioned, seem to use their positions and power to live a life of... well, whatever they're trying to do.  We see them handing money over to an inventor... so long as their invention is something that will amuse them.  I mean, these kids aren't looking for ways to cure disease... or feed the poor, they're only interested in pleasure and their own amusement.

Speaking of the Great American Pleasure Machine (oy), I almost feel that's gotta be a commentary on something, right?  Maybe consumerism?  Maybe overindulgence?  Maybe it's an allegory for psychedelic drugs?  Who knows... whatever it was, it was plenty crazy!  Perhaps our man Houston said it best, "can too much pleasure kill a man?"

I would imagine folks who are familiar with this property think about The New-52! incarnation rather than this one.  This version only made a handful of appearances... two of which I actually have at hand.  First they would appear in the limbo storyarc in Grant Morrison's Animal Man run... though, really... who didn't?  I'm fairly certain you and I had a cameo in that!  Anyhoo, here:

Animal Man #25 (July, 1990)
Words - Grant Morrison / Art - Chaz Truog, Mark Farmer, & Tatjana Wood

They would also appear in an issue of Adventures of Superman... and I know what you're thinking... must be an issue written by James Robinson... but, no!  This was during the late-90's and was written by Karl Kesel.  Take a look:

Adventures of Superman #549 (August, 1997)
Words - Karl Kesel / Art - Stuart Immonen, Jose Marzan, Jr., & Glenn Whitmore

Overall... I couldn't imagine anyone purposely not buying this whacked out issue if they come across it for a decent price.  I'd definitely recommend it, even if it's just for the sheer novelty of owning the first appearance of the Green Team.  Can't say for sure the story will be to everybody's liking, but well worth a visit.

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Advent Rising #1 (2004)

Advent Rising #1 (2004)
"Advent Rising"
Writer - Lee Hammock
Penciller - Billy Dallas Patton
Inker - Serge LaPointe
Letterer - Ken Lopez
Colorist - Thomas Mason
Editor - Jaye Gardner
Director of Creative Services - Ron Perazza
Creator - Donald Mustard

Today we're going to discuss another find from my garage of gar-bage... and hey, it's another video game tie-in freebie!

This time around it's Advent Rising, a 2005 game for the original Xbox by Majesco.  Perhaps best known these days for its poorly planned and ill-fated million dollar Xbox Live contest.  Seems this game couldn't catch a break.  The games official webpage was AdventTrilogy(dot)com (which I won't link for fear of where it may lead us these 13 years later)... which tells me that there were supposed to be a few sequels.  None of which came.  Oh well. Anyhoo, this ain't a video game blog... so let's take a look at the "collector's edition" comics tie-in.

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We open with a pair of aliens attempting to kneel before a group of exalted humans.  They come with the dire warning that there might be some baddies called The Seekers on their way to bring the pain.  The leader of the "glorious humans" asks when they might expect the Seekers, and is informed that they should arrive within the next two days.

She turns to the two pilots of her ambassador shuttle, Ethan and Gideon Wyeth, and sends them to High Command to report this new information.  As soon as they take off... well, hey... looks like the Seekers are early!  The brothers Wyeth take some enemy fire, and immediately reverse course back into the space station.  It's a good thing that Gideon is good "at crashing", because... they're in for one.

The brothers get out and check in with the boss.  Before their conversation goes too far, the Seekers begin to infiltrate.  Surprisingly, the baddies all deboard from their own crafts to get up close and personal with our new pals.

Gideon and Ethan hold the Seekers back with some sharp shooting until backup arrives.  They then head back toward the living quarters so that Gideon can save his fiancee, Olivia.  Ethan promises to protect the escape pods while Gideon completes his fetch quest.

Gideon fights his way back, and manages to meet with his betrothed... who appears to be rather spooked!  Turns out she is being pursued by a lizard-headed alien.  Gideon aims his piece at him annnnnnnd... we're out!  If we want any more, we're going to have to play the game.

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Short and to the point... introduced some characters, and acquainted them with their threat.  A nice amount of action to boot!  Perfectly serviceable for a prologue piece, even if it wasn't all that interesting to me.  Given that they only had 10 pages to fill, I get that this isn't going to be a rollicking space opera epic, and I'm not going to hold its constrictions against it.

I really dug the character designs.  Our main characters are immediately identifiable, and I thought the aliens all looked really cool.  I'm surprised I haven't run into more work by Patton, (outside of a few wonky eyes) he's really quite good.

We only get ten pages here... so, we don't get a whole lot of depth.  We see that Gideon is trying to get out of his older brother's shadow, and that he's a talented pilot and gunman.  Older brother Ethan seems like a pretty good fella.  He looks to be the "big man on campus", and seems like an altruistic and likable sort.  Even in a hail of gunfire, he's more concerned with his little bro's ability to escape than his own safety.  I've never played the video game, but I could totally see ol' Ethan valiantly sacrificing his life at some point.

Overall... not a whole lot more to say.  It was a decent enough introduction to the concept, and a well put together little freebie.  The art was so much better than I was expecting as well.  If you somehow come across this... maybe in your own over-cluttered garage, it's worth a flip through.  You won't get a satisfying ending... or any ending for that matter, but there are certainly worse ways to spend five minutes.

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