X-Men (vol.6) #8 (April, 2022) "The Buffet is Undefeated" Writer - Gerry Duggan Art - Javier Pina Colors - Marte Gracia Letters - VC's Clayton Cowles Design - Tom Muller Head of X (?) - Hickman Edits - Amaro, White, Cebulski Cover Price: $3.99 On-Sale: February 16, 2022
We're back to the "flagship"... which, is unfortunately a book seemingly stuck between two eras. Not quite Reign of... but also not yet full-blown Destiny of.
It's widescreen mutant action... in that Morrison JLA style, which is to say... not my favorite approach. Snark and quips take the place of characterization... and, oh yeah -- M.O.D.O.K. shouts "For Science!" - that's a punchline, y'all. Laugh!
In the mailbag we discuss the shifting in what it means to be a Mutant in the post-Hickman landscape -- plus, a little bit more on the "seams showing" in XLADOW.
Then, I get a bit self-indulgent -- talking about the future of this (and other) shows on the channel... which, heck - if you made it that far, don't feel bad about clicking "stop".
X-Men Vignettes #34 (1989) "Double Negative" Writer - Ann Nocenti Art - John Bolton Letters - Joe Rosen Colors - Glynis Oliver Edits - Edelman, Harras, DeFalco From: Classic X-Men #34 (June, 1989)
We're getting really close to the end of this leg of the Vignettes Project. As it stands now, we've only got two chapters left that come equipped with "cover images". In case I didn't make this clear from the start... and, I mean, if you're reading these, you most likely already know -- but, these Classic X-Men backups had their own "covers"... which is to say, the back cover would have a pin-up -- which, are the images I took, and slapped a low-poly, grainy, poorly edited "X-Men Vignettes" logo on (seriously, don't look at it too closely)... and then typed the chapter number in Bookman OldStyle Font in as near a similar shade of blue and white as I could get it.
That all changes, however, with issue #37. I'm guessing it's due to a combination of Marvel wanting more ad revenue and not really prioritizing this project anymore... but, come that issue... the back cover will be - just an ad. Here's a silly little "mock-up" I did for what Vignettes #37 could'a been:
Back Cover of Classic X-Men #37 (September, 1989)
So, knowing that's headed our way... I guess I'm going to have to try and get a bit creative for upcoming covers. Creativity isn't my strong suit... which is probably why all I tend to write about are other peoples' creations. There's a saying that I've tried to coin over the years -- "Those who can, do -- those who cannot, review" -- it rhymes and sorta rolls off the tongue in said in the right cadence.
Anyway, all that to say -- come Vignette #37, we'll be entering the final "leg" of this project. I believe the last Vignette appears in Classic X-Men #44? I could be mistaken... but, I don't think I am. Crazy, when I started this I could'a sworn they ran into the 60s! I guess this won't go quite as long as our Action Comics Daily dealie from the long ago... though, there are some X-Men shorts floating around out there that might be needing some attention in the form of the Vignette treatment? What say you?
Oh well, enough pre-ramble... let's get Hellfirin'!
--
We open at the Hellfire Club, where... hmm, lemme check the Wiki... ah, yes: Unnamed Servant Girl is attending to Jason Wyngarde's drink order. We can see that he thinks of her as nothing more than a brainless trollop... an object. Speaking of objectification, he gets a big ol' eyeful of her goods before she awkwardly backs away. She asks if there's anything else he might need... likely expecting a very unpleasant answer -- yet, gets none. Jaybird ain't even gonna dignify her with a response. Worth noting here, and maybe it's just me -- but, Bolton draws Wyngarde to look a bit like Charlie Manson.
Unnamed Servant Girl slinks away back to her quarters... demoralized and feeling like, well, feeling like exactly what Wyngarde wanted her to feel like -- nothing more than an object. In the "help" quarters, or, I dunno "ladies' locker room" she runs into Emma Frost... who is in the middle of a conversation with her very favorite person -- that being, herself in the mirror. USG asks how Emma can deal with their lot in Hellfire Life - being ogled, being a plaything, ya know... being a Hellfire Wench. Emma takes great offense to this, reminding USG that she is the White Queen. Sure, USG is nothing more than a cheap bit of eye-candy to the creepers in the Club, but Emma... Emma wields actual power. She claims that while the fetishwear of USG cheapens her... Emma's own fetishwear cheapens everyone else. Welp, I guess it's all in one's own perception, eh? Least Emma acknowledges her agency.
Emma continues her monologue while fetching her cape gimmick... and finally tells Unnamed Servant Girl that sexism is an illusion... it only x-ists when you give it power. When you empowers those who you think may try and wield it to make you lesser. And, in the Hellfire Club... no one dares to play such games with the White Queen. USG comes to the realization that Emma's just as bad as the rest of 'em. C'mon lady, is this the first time you're meeting Emma Frost?
From here... well, the story kinda falls apart. Or, rather, kinda just ceases to be for a handful of (fun to look at) pages. Emma approaches Wyngarde for a game of chess... and, what follows is three pages of... well, them playing chess. It's all very symbolic, and perhaps falls a bit on the "too cute by half" side of things... but, I suppose it's somewhat successful in making the point it's trying to make. The gimmick here is that we're seeing their mental joust play out on the board... and, in the game, they wind up falling prey to one another. Again, neat to look at, and fine idea... just not near as deep as I think it's supposed to be. Feel like we can sum up so many Nocenti/Bolton stories with that very line.
This takes us to the wrap up, where we can see that... this entire "game" took place on the astral plane -- not a single chess piece was moved. Unnamed Servant Girl is watching this play out... and realizes that, while Ms. Frost claims superiority to all -- she is but a slave. A slave... to games.
--
Okay, I didn't dislike this. I know that's like the usual levels of "praise" I've been giving our trips into Nocenti-land of late... but, it's really about all I can say. I don't have any personal stories I can relate-n-conflate into this... and, I'm not x-actly sure what it actually accomplished. It enlightens us to the "power dynamic" of the Hellfire Club... but, I didn't think that was ever in question in the first place? Maybe it's just all the years of hindsight getting in the way?
Something that really struck me is what Emma said about the nature of sexism... especially in the post-social media world we're currently living in, where it feels as though folks often comb over any statements being made for any traces of sexism... or, ya know, whatever else they're looking to be offended by. Here, Emma tells our Unnamed Servant Girl that -- sexism isn't a thing, unless you make it into one. It simply doesn't x-ist... to her mind, anyway. Well, it x-ists, just not in the way the USG thinks it does. My takeaway here is that it comes down to agency -- and, I could be completely wrong here, because it isn't terribly often that I find myself trompin' around a swingers club in showy lingerie and heels.
Emma appears to know what putting on the outfit means. She says as much to the USG. You put that outfit on... and, you're going to be ogled... you will be objectified... but only if you allow yourself to be. As we saw in the opening scene, USG does not appear to carry herself with any confidence... she's meek, she's clearly uncomfortable. To a sadist or creep at the Hellfire Club, she may as well be wearing a sign that she is someone who can be easily used, dominated, wrung out... what have you. Emma, on the other hand, well... she compares her slinky get-up to the war armor of a samurai. It's her protection, it's her weapon... it's how she gets stuff done.
Emma isn't meek... and like the new guy/gal in the prison... she approaches one of the biggest, baddest dudes in the yard to make a name for herself. To show off her mental toughness. She matches mental-wits with friggin' Mastermind... and is able to battle him to a draw. It's not a win... but, at the same time, it kinda is.
Thing of it is though, Emma's so wrapped up in her "persona"... that she doesn't even realize what a prisoner she's become. Like, what does it matter if you're king or queen... when what you rule over is... this? Emma's in too deep. She's like someone who fought their way to a middle-management position, who then lets that position define who they are. They become the job... and begin to think lesser of those around them. And, no, this is one of the rare times I'll assure you that I'm not projecting -- at least not my own behavior, anyway. What happens when you take this person out of "the machine"? What do they become? What/Who is Emma Frost without her position in Hellfire?
She doesn't appear to want to find out. And so, as the Unnamed Servant Girl said, Emma -- whether she realizes it or not -- is also a slave.
Ya know what -- this might be one'a those odd stories where, when I started jotting down my thoughts I didn't really care for -- but, after breaking it down (as only I can... which is to say, sloppily and stream-of-consciously), I found that I rather liked it. Oh well!
Weird Comics History - That Time the Invisible Woman Got a Mullet
Fantastic Four #258 (September, 1983) - Fantastic Four #287 (February, 1986) A Saga by John Byrne with a little help from his fans
Here's something a little bit different for your Sunday -- dusting off the ol' Weird Comics History brand, and chatting up a bit of... well, weird comics history. It's nothing Earth-shattering, and you probably won't actually learn anything today -- but, I thought it would be fun to pop in on a happening from the early-mid 1980s that -- does get a bit of chatter, but that chatter is more about the destination than the journey.
There are some notable instances in comics history in which the fans of the funnybooks get a "say" (or at least the perception of a say) as to certain story beats, team makeups, or what have you. Sometimes these decisions leave a long-lasting impact... other times, it's barely a blip. This one transcends all'a that. This is bigger than any "comic book story". This is an event which actually changed society as a whole. Now, you can keep your Jason Todd 900 numbers, and your Hellfire Gala X-Men Votes -- because this, my friends,is far more important than any of that. This is all about the time the comic fans held the very fate of Sue Richards...'s hair in their hands.
But first, a little backstory. As I've said time and again, my first exposure to many of the (non-X) Marvel Superheroes was via the Marvel Universe trading card sets. Back in the long ago, I never saw myself as a "Marvel Fan" -- I was an X-Men fan. Didn't have time for the Avengers, Fantastic Four... heck, I'd only pop in on Spidey every now and again. So, all of my (vast) Marvel knowledge came from what was written on the back of these cards. And, since these facts were among the first things I learned... well, I think my brain kinda prioritized them as being the most important bits... even to this very day!
Let's take a look at the Invisible Woman's card from Marvel Universe, Series I (1990):
Boy, how nice is it to see her name listed as "Invisible Woman" and not "MARVEL'S Invisible Woman"? Hate that.
The "Didja Know" boxes on the bottom of these cards included some of the neatest information -- nothing all that important, but something different than the usual "Name/Rank/Serial Number". Looking at Sue's, hers is all about how she changes up her hairstyle pretty often. At the time, I didn't have much of a frame of reference to back that up. I only knew the Sue who was currently on the racks. I certainly wasn't dipping into the back-issue bins for old issues of Fantastic Four -- what do I look like, some sort of comic book fan?! It was just a bit of info that I dumped into my mental archives, and never really thought of again.
Fast-forward to a handful of years later, and Heroes Return was the big thing in comics. I'll admit, I got sucked in -- and, for the most part, I stuck. Curiosity, too much disposable income, as well as too little common sense and self control led to me, for the first time ever, regularly buying books outside the X-Line. And, being something of a rabid completionist, I started dipping my toe into the back issue bins... looking for "classics" (ie. 80s-90s books that wouldn't cost me an arm and a leg) to add to my collection. This was just barely post-boom -- 1997 or so, when the back-issue bins were still the home of books that'd put you thru college and pay off your mortgage. What I'm trying to say here is, they were still demanding decently high prices.
Though, there were books that appeared to be immune. Books like Excalibur, Alpha Flight, and... Fantastic Four. I'm sure there were others, but -- these three were among those on my "backfill list", so they stand out. I began to amass quite an impressive (to me, anyway) collection of FF... going all the way back to the, sorta-kinda mythical Byrne run. As a young comics enthusiast in the early 90s, I'd hear tell of the "glory days" of the 80s. Walt Simonson's Thor, Chris Claremont on X-Men (duh), Mark Gruenwald on Cap... and, of course, John Byrne's Fantastic Four. Any time I was able to grab an ish... any ish... from one of these runs, I felt as though I was holding a piece of history. Yes, I do tend to overromanticize things... why do you ask?
It was an especially great day when I happened into the very first issue of the Byrne FF run. It was in a dollar bin, of all places... and, I guess it's safe to say that the back-issue bonanza "worm" had turned. Shops, at least those in my neck of the woods, were in what felt like "liquidation mode", just get 'em gone. A great time for collectors like me... but, maybe not the greatest sign in the strength of the industry (and the retailer arm of).
Now, I say all of that - so I might say this. Cracking open that first Byrne issue, which I have covered here on the site -- in the then-novel (for me) and inaugural "Marvel May" article, in 2020. Within the first few pages, we see Sue Storm getting her hair done at a fru-fru salon. Here's a snip (no pun intended) from that piece:
Fantastic Four #232 (1981) - (w/a) John Byrne
When I wrote about this issue, I commented that this was a "very Byrne-y scene" to include... and we'll talk more about that in just a bit. First though, it was in seeing this scene that I recalled that silly li'l "Didja Know?" box on the trading card. And, being the more "seasoned" comics enthusiast that I was at the time, I suddenly realized that -- yeah, Sue does change her look an awful lot. More so than most comic book characters (well, intentionally anyway -- we're not talking editorial oversight or lack of artist consistency here). I can appreciate that as a character beat... and, as such, I enjoy seeing scenes like this play out on-panel -- or, at the very least, get mentioned on-panel. I'm also a very big fan of the concept of "style sheets", as in -- if you're drawing such-and-such book, here's what the character(s) LOOK LIKE. Nowadays, there are certain characters who's "look" can't stay consistent from panel to panel, much less issue to issue -- I'll spare y'all the cute "*cough*" sound effect, and just say - Carol Danvers.
To explain my "very Byrne-y scene" comment -- well, being a fella who often gets lost in the weeds of the comics hobby... and, tries to look for patterns... or really anything "noteworthy" that I might be able to dig into and discuss, I couldn't help but notice that JB has had some of female cast members drastically change their looks when he hopped onto a title/franchise. Here are just a couple of the noteworthiest examples (in my opinion):
Man of Steel #4 (November, 1986)Avengers West Coast #56 (March, 1990)Hmm... if I didn't know better, I'd guess they were the same person
Despite looking like they could be twin-sisters, or - ya know, the same person -- this is Lois Lane and the Scarlet Witch. I suppose we might say they've got "RBF"... Resting Byrne Face. And, hey, I love JB's work -- but, even Marvel has acknowledged RBF.
Marvel: Year in Review 1991
Where was I? Oh yeah, John Byrne designing "new looks" for characters under his purview. I may be projecting, but his adherence to and appreciation for how certain characters are supposed to look really comes through in his work. If he makes a change to attempt to update them to current-year, or if the character faces some sort of internal crisis -- those changes feel organic. A character like Sue Storm... who, as the trading card said, often changes up how she looks, doesn't really need much reason.
However, since that is part of her character -- mebbe JB can have a bit of fun shaking up her look a bit. Mebbe he might even reach out to the readership to get some of their thoughts on how Sue oughta be brought into the mid-80s? Enter: Sue's Coiffure Contest. In the Fantastic Four Fan Page (Letters Page) from Fantastic Four #258 (September, 1983), Byrne makes the following announcement:
Fantastic Four #258 (September, 1983)
FF #258 also includes that scene where it's revealed that the Dr. Doom who Arcade lit a match on over in Uncanny X-Men #146 (June, 1981) was a Doombot. So, the Coiffure Contest and JB being a bit precious! In retrospect, this is a far more important issue than I initially thought -- I'd better slab the thing ASAP! Anyway, I guess that goofy haircut Milo gave her during Byrne's "Back to Basics" wasn't one of her faves. It's worth noting, at this point in the comic, Sue's taken to wearing a "very unglamorous" brown wig, as part of an attempt at having a secret identity (Susan Benjamin). Hmm, if Sue thinks that look is unglamorous... well, just you wait!
Fantastic Four #259 (October, 1983) - (w/a) John Byrne
It's worth noting here, that Sue "Benjamin" Storm was pregnant with her and Reed's second child at this point -- and, there were rumblings in the letters pages (and in the comics themselves) that she was about to undergo some sort of "coming of age" -- shedding the Invisible Girl name, becoming the Invisible Woman (though, the Letters Pages seemed more keen on her going by "Mrs. Fantastic"). Speaking of "changes", hatchi matchi... here's a look at the Fantastic Four Fan Page from FF #263 (February, 1984):
Fantastic Four #263 (February, 1984)
It's announced here that, within the first few months of this contest, Marvel has received 528 entries! Good grief -- though, it's worth noting that a grip of those entries were requesting that Sue revisit some looks from the past. We get some "honorable mentions" listed here -- which, if I were a real comics historian, and not just a fake-ass one, I'd have probably made some effort to tracking down some of these folks for comment.
Some of the parameters of the contest are better laid out here -- the winning style has to be: a) practical, b) attractive, c) suitable to Sue, and d) not too painful to have to draw a few dozen times per issue. Well, I'm guessing this disqualifies like nine outta every ten entries right there! John Byrne does take the time to render a couple of the suggested looks here -- these are apparently the two that have gotten the most votes. They're not going to win, for a variety of reasons -- but, the people have spoken -- further proving that old Stan Lee quote "Don't ever give the fans what they think they want" true. I can actually see Sue wearing the look on the left -- though, it does look like it'd be a pain in the ass to draw. The mohawk though? C'mahhhhn. I'm sure JB had fun with this though.
Issue #263 was the official END of the contest -- as in, quit sending us yer stuff.
Fantastic Four #266 (May, 1984) sees Sue hanging out at the wig shop -- looking for a more glamorous hair-hat. Worth noting, that her own hair looks a lot different than it has in these last several issues -- so, you might've assumed that this scene right here was the "big reveal" of the Coiffure Contest Winner! But... no such luck, Chuck. This is just a stop-gap hairdo on our way to something so tragic that FEMA may have to be called in.
Fantastic Four #265 (April, 1984)Fantastic Four #266 (May, 1984)
Here's a look at Sue from Fantastic Four #268 (July, 1984) -- a storyline that is much more important than the silly Coiffure Contest -- however, since we're talking about the silly Coiffure Contest, I gotta show it. Um, what was that I was saying about Byrne being consistent with character appearances? This is literally the third hairstyle Sue's had... in as many issues. Ehh, let's just blame Secret Wars. Yeah, I know she wasn't there... but, we'll blame it anyway.
Fantastic Four #268 (July, 1984) - (w/a) John Byrne
The following issue features Sue with some very long hair... the lengths of which I don't think we've ever seen her wear.
Fantastic Four #269 (August, 1984) - (w/a) John Byrne
This issue, Fantastic Four #269 (August, 1984) is also very notable for our contest... as, the WINNER is announced! Well, sorta. Ya see, whoever sent in this winning style... neglected to include a note with their drawing! And, I mean... in hindsight... I guess it'd make sense that nobody would wanna take credit for this thing. Well, "clear" credit anyway -- the did sign the piece... and, as far as Marvel can make out they've got a last name of Mayes... and a first name of... well, somethin'. Their best guesses are Tyron, Byron, or just-plain Ron. So, if you're reading this Mr. (or Ms.) Mayes -- reach out. That is, of course, if Ty-By-Ron Mayes isn't just another name for John Byrne. From the Fan Page:
Fantastic Four #269 (August, 1984)
So, you might be wondering... how long are we going to have to wait in order to SEE the winning Coiffure? Well, just a couple of issues, actually. Fantastic Four #271 (October, 1984) opens with the gut-punch that is... Sue's Mullet.
Fantastic Four #271 (October, 1984) - (w/a) John Byrne
Happy Birthday, indeed. Gotta wonder if JB used Florence Henderson as a point of reference for this one... Sue's lookin' very Carol Brady here.
Sue's bad decision isn't the only notable bit about this issue -- it also marks the shift in the letters page from the Fantastic Four Fan Page to the Fantastic Forum. The letters page has been busily taking JB to task for murdering characters left and right... and thus, Byrne challenged the readership to send in their thoughts on who they would kill (in the book, natch) if they could. Apparently this got quite the response... however, not near as many replies as the Coiffure Contest!
Fantastic Four #271 (October, 1984)
Now, for such a popular and engaging contest, you'd assume that the letters pages for the next several issues might be full of reactions to this dramatic change in appearance for Sue, right? Well... notsomuch. This change of appearance isn't even commented on once in the Fantastic Forum... and heck, far as I can tell, Reed doesn't even compliment her on her new look. I mean, this might be a case of "If you have nothing nice to say..." but still. Weird that something that had a bit of pomp and circumstance doesn't get any play on-panel.
So, how long was Sue bemulleted anyway? It's funny, looking back, memory being what it is, it feels like the Sue-mullet era lasted for like... several years. It wasn't quite that long, however... though it was around for some pretty memorable little ditties, like the time Sue became the Hatemonger's sidekick-of-sorts, Malice.
Fantastic Four #280 (July, 1985) - (w/a) John Byrne
Which also gave us this little sequence...
Fantastic Four #261 (August, 1985) - (w/a) John Byrne
It was also while mulleted that Sue changed her name from Invisible Girl to Invisible Woman.
Fantastic Four #284 (November, 1985) - (w/a) John Byrne
Sue was mud-flapped during the Return of Jean Grey!
Fantastic Four #286 (January, 1986) - (w/a) You Know Who
And, in the very next issue -- in a "very Byrne-y scene", Sue finally gets turned back into a normal human - on-panel.
Fantastic Four #287 (February, 1986) - (w/a) John Byrne
Sue's Mullet: Fantastic Four #271 (October, 1984) - Fantastic Four #287 (February, 1986). Sixteen months of style -- and probably one of the sillier things I've spent any amount of time researching and writing about. If you're still reading at this point, I humbly thank you for joining me on this odd little adventure.
X-Men Vignettes #33 (1989) "So Good it Hurts" Writer - Ann Nocenti Art- John Bolton Letters - Joe Rosen Colors - Glynis Oliver Edits - Edelman, Harras, DeFalco From: Classic X-Men #33 (May, 1989)
I feel like if you title your story "So Good it Hurts", you're really puttin' it all out there. That's a bold statement -- and, of course, it's not supposed to be describing the story quality itself... but, ehh...
In other words, I really don't have much of a pre-ramble today. This chapter occurs at the same time as the last one. Give that one a peek if you're interested! For a bit of context for this one -- it (mostly) plays out during this scene from X-Men #127 (November, 1979).
X-Men #127 (November, 1979 - (w) Chris Claremont / (a) John Byrne
--
We open with Havok and Polaris on their way to help the X-Men with the Proteus Problem. Now, it's a weird bit of business to start -- as, Alex appears to be zoning out and hallucinating these violent and horrible ends for the two of 'em. Now, I'm not 100% sure these are purely hallucinations... or, maybe they're some sort of long-distance Proteus reality-warping? It's one'a those, I guess! I suppose at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. Or, maybe it does? I dunno, I'm 'fused. Speaking of "fused", Havok and Polaris wreck their car and become fused together here! In reality, Alex just zoned out and drove off the road and down an embankment. They are both unharmed. Worth noting, the love of his life, Lorna Dane calls him "Havok" rather than Alex throughout this story. Maybe it's because he's in costume? Maybe they've got a rule about that? Maybe it's a kink they've got? Who knows...
Alex x-plains that, of late, he's been thinking a lot about how quickly things can end... as in, life. He zones out and pictures himself smashing into things while he's driving, f'rinstance. He doubles-down by revealing that he's had these feelings ever since around the time he'd met her. He fears they're headed toward some sort of unavoidable "smash". These words are clearly music to any girl's ears -- Lorna tell him to put a pin in it for now, as she retrieves their hooptie outta the sump.
She then takes him by the hand and goes skyward. Havok appears to be momentarily calmed... though, it might be worth noting that he calls the love of his life... Polaris. Welp, she's not in costume, so there goes that theory. Maybe Ann didn't think anybody would recognize them? Ya know, it's not as thought Havok's costume is unique or anything? Anyway, Havok starts thrashing and freaking out -- an anxiety attack is imminent. He catastrophizes the situation... assuming they're both about to fall to their death. He asks Lorna for one last kiss... before smashing his face into hers... literally.
From here, we get the weird and awkward scene from our "cover", and the pair'a lovers smash into the ground below. Only, ya know, not really. Turns out, Lorna didn't even take him into the sky a couple'a pages back -- it was all in Alex's head! He x-plains that lately he's been resenting the danger that being X-Men puts them in. All he can see is worst-case scenarios. Now that Lorna's in his life... and the fact that he loves her, these dangers, "smashes", and ends feel all that much more intense... and that intensity only fuels his resentment.
Polaris doesn't appear to get where he's coming from. I'm sure she understands what he's saying -- she just doesn't see his point of view. She reminds him that they're a part of something bigger than them -- and that the world needs them. Havok contorts into a very dramatic pose, before blasting a nearby boulder to bits. He understands that his concerns are selfish... and acknowledges that he's ashamed of himself for thinking the way he does. But -- he just has a feeling that, the longer they're X-Men, the more likely it is that their end is imminent. Which, sure -- stands to reason, right? Gotta assume someone who fights supervillains might not be as long for the world as someone who delivers pizzas?
The conversation is interrupted by a weather phenomenon on the horizon. This is Storm taking on Proteus from the main story... immediately following the Wolverine/Nightcrawler scene. They hop back in the hooptie and head over.
We wrap up with our heroes arriving on the battlefield... just as the dust is settling. They get a good look at their fellow X-Men, and it's when Havok locks eyes with Wolverine... and sees the fear in them, he knows that he cannot be an X-Man any longer. Havok vows to himself that he will not subject himself to such horrors... and will not ever be a part of any "last battle".
--
This was a pretty good one. As we've seen throughout our Vignette Visits, it's not always the easiest thing to do to organically introduce a story that occurs "in-between panels". They often feel wildly convenient, or maybe don't quite line up with the timeline of the main story -- and, well, sometimes they're just plain bad. I recall one'a those Savage Land Vignettes being almost aggressively dull.
Here though? This was a good bit'a business. During the main story in X-Men #127, we see Havok and Polaris arriving on the scene -- but, never had any cause to give their ride over a second thought. It's being able to see the opportunities and possibilities presented in these moments that, initially, didn't much matter, and "filling them in" with characterizations and motivations that really make the Vignettes endeavor work. Did that sentence make sense? I rewrote it like a dozen times. Hopefully, at the very least, you get what I'm trying to say.
X-Men #127Vignette #33
The work done with Havok here was interesting. I think Nocenti did a pretty good job describing what the onset of an anxiety attack feels like. Sure, these experiences aren't universal, and we each deal with panic in our own way(s), but this was quite well done. Bolton did a wonderful job bringing the words to life... which, isn't much of a surprise at all.
Here's an unnecessary peek behind the curtain. I've long suffered anxiety/panic attacks... and not the kind that are glorified on reddit or make us feel unique and special on social media. Real... debilitating... life-altering panic attacks. I'm talking pain in places you didn't think you had sorta attacks. You don't think your soul can hurt? Think again. For me, personally, and this isn't unique to me -- it's just the only story I can share firsthand -- these attacks are brought on by fear (duh) and catastrophizing. Sometimes the catastrophic situation I project myself into ends in physical pain/harm... other times, it's more a blow to the ego, feeling rejected/dejected/ejected. In either event, you (or I, rather) begin to lose touch with reality.
The worst part of it... well, there are a lot of "worst parts", but one of them is -- the acknowledgement that I'm losing touch with what's real while it's going on. Everything around you "changes"... or, at least my perception of it does... and I can feel myself becoming irrational... or catastrophizing an otherwise benign situation into something that'll send me spiraling. Thankfully, I'm not quite as far-gone as our man, Alex -- then again, I've never zoned out in the proximity of Proteus!
Speaking of which -- there were a couple of things about the story that, I don't wanna say "cheapened" it... maybe just "lessened" it. One being, the fact that this all went down during a Proteus fight. Are we to assume that Alex is actually "zoning out" on the regular... or, at least to this extreme? Was there any of the Proteus-effect at play here? Like I said at the jump, I suppose it really doesn't matter -- but, I dunno -- I suppose it kinda does?
Another bit that pulled me out... and, it's silly... is how Alex and Lorna referred to one another as "Havok" and "Polaris". Like I said, it's a silly criticism... but, still... it pulled me out of the story. I have a hard time accepting that these two lovers, who are not yet on the battlefield, are still calling each other by their codenames. I mean, we can't even blame this on being a BIG Jim Shooter edict... since he'd been showed the door many months ago. Just feels unnatural -- and makes me think less of the Alex/Lorna romance.
It's weird -- I kinda compare this relationship to, and this is gonna sound weird, but to Winnie and Kevin on The Wonder Years. It always felt to me that Kevin was far more into their relationship than Winnie. She often came across as somewhat aloof toward it. Felt one-sided, is what I'm trying to say -- and, I kinda get those vibes here from Lorna to Alex. Does that make sense? Prob'ly not.
Overall, despite a couple's nits that I needed to pick, I had a good time with this one. The ending was powerful... having Alex approach Logan, of all people... seeing the fear in the eyes of a man who... well, doesn't scare easy, was more than enough to convince our man that, perhaps his X-Menning days are behind him. Good stuff!
X-Men Vignettes #32 (1989) "Shreds of Humanity" Writer - Ann Nocenti Art - John Bolton Letters - Joe Rosen Colors - Glynis Oliver Edits - Edelman, Harras, DeFalco From: Classic X-Men #32 (April, 1989)
Rather than pre-ramble today, I'm just going to share a couple'a pages from X-Men #126 (October, 1979), because the entire story we're about to discuss occurs somewhere betwixt their panels. Quite why we needed to add twelve x-tra pages to this scene... well, um... ya got me! Least it's gonna look pretty!
From X-Men #126 (October, 1979) - (w) Chris Claremont / (a) John Byrne
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So, we pickup right as Proteus is reality-warping Wolverine and Nightcrawler. Our heroes are mocked for their lack of ability... which triggers our more feral friend to begin slipping into that more Berzerker Rage mindset. Not completely, as he's still able to reason and maintain a semblance of cognizance... but, he's gettin' mighty ticked off. Nightcrawler begs Wolverine to settle his tea kettle... and makes the mistake of referring to him as playing the "tough guy". Whoa, whoa, WHOA -- turns out, this is akin to calling Marty McFly a chicken... cuz, it's at this point our man starts to see red.
What's more, Proteus picks up on this as well. Being called a "tough guy" appears to be a sore spot for ol' Logan -- and so, Proty's gonna use this new knowledge and have a little bit of fun with it.
And well, this is where the story shifts into a mosaic of Wolverine taking tiny steps forward... juxtaposed with full-page spreads of our man in different crazy forms. It's very cool to look at, and is a great idea for a story -- it just doesn't x-actly "land" for me. I feel like there's too much of an effort at play here -- trying to make this "more" than a story. Like, a deeper character study. In some ways, I suppose it works -- but, the "tryhardedness" and faux-Claremontian is strong. First, Proteus shatters Wolverine.
Next, Proty turns Wolverine into a Spider with Eggs. This looks like it's supposed to be a reference to a nursery rhyme of some sort? Proteus says "Spiders and Eggs for Breakfast" a couple'a times. I made the mistake of Googling that... which only showed me disgusting pictures of spiders and eggs. When I added "nursery rhyme" to the search, that only made it worse -- I was shown horrifying big-headed CGI babies from Youtube thumbnails -- but, not the nursery rhyme I was looking for!
Then, it's the Marvel Zombies version of Wolverine -- only with less "funny, ha-ha" and "lol, random" than you might x-pect. This is a really good page, as it suggests that Logan uses his healing factor in order to justify indulgence -- fifty-thousand cigarettes, beers, burgers -- after all, what's it matter to him?
Next stop, toon-Wolverine. Kinda resembles that weird little Wolvie critter from the most recent run of Exiles... only a bit more angular. His voice becomes squeaky... but, his resolve seems stronger than ever. He gets almost... well, cartoonishly violent with his descriptions. He smokes atomic bombs, eats bullets, and drinks napalm!
All the while that we're seeing this, Logan is drawing nearer and nearer to Proteus... and at this point, he's not only standing right next to him -- but, he's already slashed him across the face and chest! Proteus understands that the "tough guy" thing isn't an act -- there's actual substance behind the bravado. Wolverine tells him that that substance actually goes all the way to his core -- and it's called courage.
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Ya know what? I read this story twice. Sometimes, when I read something that I'm planning to cover for a post or a show, I come out of it feeling one way -- then, when I sit down with it again, in order to actually write and/or speak about it, I come away feeling almost completely different. That's kind of the case with this little ditty.
After my initial read-thru -- I hated it. Well, maybe "hate" is too strong a word, but I didn't like it at all. I felt it was unnecessary, way to indulgent -- and kind of insisted on its, I dunno, faux-depth? I mean, it was pretty to look at, no doubt about that -- but, the Nocenti-isms (which is to say, faux-Claremontisms) really drilled on my nerves. Each one was like golf ball-sized hail hitting a tin roof. I winced with each and every sharp "ping".
Right now, actually sitting down with it and writing about it -- I dunno, I come away with almost the complete opposite feeling. Again, the Nocenti-isms were (very) strong -- the prose was a bit purple -- but, I kinda "got it" this time. I'm not sure we needed quite so many pages to make this point -- but, without all those pages, we wouldn't have gotten the very fun John Bolton showcase we wound up getting.
The story itself has the misfortune of being one of the sort that's been strip-mined in the time since it's been written. Wolverine as a "man" or "beast" is a well-trodden bit'a business... and has been done to death (and beyond). We've seen Wolverine in near every situation possible, and reacting in just about every possible way... and, what's more, we've met scads of different versions of the man. It's not fair of me to hold any'a that against this story -- though, I can't honestly say that the overdone-ness of this sort of x-amination/character study didn't make me think a bit less of it. Again, it's an unfair position to take -- I understand and own that.
Overall, the Bolton-bonanza we get here makes it completely worthwhile -- and, depending on your Nocenti-ism mileage... you might just enjoy the story as well.
